A
Anew Leaf
Guest
I have a really good friend who is an ISFP. She is very sweet and kind and generous and I am glad to have her in my life. The problem is that she sort of drives me insane when we spend a large chunk of time together, and I am not sure how to combat it.
The gist of what annoys me is this:
1- 90% of her talking is a monologue... there is no back and forth discussion/conversation/etc. It's just her talking about basically nothing. Most of what she talks about is her recanting conversations she has with other people... 99% of them people I have never met and will never meet.
2- There is no point to what she is talking about... It's like she talks just to say something. She has ADHD so that could be part of it. I try to follow what she is saying and figure out what the point of it all is, and I realize that there is no point. Which leaves me, if you can imagine it, with nothing to say in response. I just look at her blankly.
3- We went out with a small group of my girlfriends this weekend for dinner and karaoke. One of the girls was chatting with her to get to know her and instead of answering her questions, the ISFP was just telling her things like: my dad bought a new 8 foot Tv, my sister bought a $65000 car, my coworker said this to me, etc.
4- She constantly wants to talk about highschool and people we knew in highschool and "oh remember when this happened?" And I just don't care about highschool. I am ok with the fact that our lives don't have much in common with each other's right now. I am happy to learn from what she is doing and vice versa.
I find myself unable to categorize what this behavior is exactly so that I can figure out a way to counteract it's hypnotic power, so any ideas are more than welcome.
I very much value her friendship so I don't want to avoid her in my life, but this kind of behavior gets to be too draining for me to deal with for any length of time. She lives in another state so we don't see each other too often. However, it makes visits absolutely painful after a few days.
Thanks for any and all replies.
The gist of what annoys me is this:
1- 90% of her talking is a monologue... there is no back and forth discussion/conversation/etc. It's just her talking about basically nothing. Most of what she talks about is her recanting conversations she has with other people... 99% of them people I have never met and will never meet.
2- There is no point to what she is talking about... It's like she talks just to say something. She has ADHD so that could be part of it. I try to follow what she is saying and figure out what the point of it all is, and I realize that there is no point. Which leaves me, if you can imagine it, with nothing to say in response. I just look at her blankly.
3- We went out with a small group of my girlfriends this weekend for dinner and karaoke. One of the girls was chatting with her to get to know her and instead of answering her questions, the ISFP was just telling her things like: my dad bought a new 8 foot Tv, my sister bought a $65000 car, my coworker said this to me, etc.
4- She constantly wants to talk about highschool and people we knew in highschool and "oh remember when this happened?" And I just don't care about highschool. I am ok with the fact that our lives don't have much in common with each other's right now. I am happy to learn from what she is doing and vice versa.
I find myself unable to categorize what this behavior is exactly so that I can figure out a way to counteract it's hypnotic power, so any ideas are more than welcome.
I very much value her friendship so I don't want to avoid her in my life, but this kind of behavior gets to be too draining for me to deal with for any length of time. She lives in another state so we don't see each other too often. However, it makes visits absolutely painful after a few days.
Thanks for any and all replies.