i'm a 16 year old INTP and i can't help but feel lonely because i dont have any close friends. I also feel lonely because i dont have a girlfriend because my mom wont let me have one. But i also am kinda scared to have a girlfriend, like i dont know if i'll be doing things right, taking it at the right pace, etc etc. I also feel like i might never find a girl for me and will be lonely my whole life. It's kinda overwhelming. Is all this normal for an INTP?
Well, it sounds like least you know you have good qualities, and as soon as you get away from Mom, you'll be okay. So don't project too far and think your entire life will suck because of the way things are now, soon enough you'll be free to do what you want, when you want.
Could you just spend time with girls doing what boys do with their girlfriends, without officially calling them a girlfriend? I mean, your Mom might be able to regulate a few things, but spending time with a girl... do you have to be able to openly call her your gf for her to be your gf?
As far as being afraid: Yeah, it's okay, lots of people go through that. You're not odd or strange, and chances are you're no worse at it than many of the same people you are looking at and thinking they know what they're doing. You're just willing to admit it to yourself.
INTP mentality = strategize and figure it all out intellectually before doing it, to minimize risk and discomfort. But some things, you can't do that way. Learning how to relate to people is one of those.
I remember being scared in the sense I'd feel if I made a mistake, the person I was interested in would dump me. Sometimes that happens, but often people who do that aren't ready for a real relationship either; most "average" people can handle some amount of mistakes, especially if it's clear it was just a mistake and you're trying hard to do the right thing by them. In any case, there is no way through without just doing it, making some mistakes, making up for your mistakes, and rolling with things. It's scary right now, but it gets easier the more experience you get. It sounds like you're able to look at yourself and examine things, so you should be self-correcting and able to fix any mistakes and learn quickly.