I mean, even if I have a girlfriend, I don't necessarily expect sex. Maybe she's not in the mood or something, or tired. I'd have to be some kind of royal asshole to expect it or demand it if that's the case. But I also know where we stand overall.
A cocktease incident is pretty isolated (though one can be an overall cocktease). Like kissing and heavy petting. haha, then just going cold. No beuno.
Again, poor communication, but you already know that by now.
And for the record, "Let's just hang out and chill!" is usually "Let's just hang out and chill and bone!" especially if you've already been sleeping together.
If a girl or boy isn't down for sexy time, and the other is, it's easy to just get upset and not say anything, or hide it. But verbally communicating that takes a bit of maturity. And if it doesn't lead to gettin' it ohhnn, then it may lead to a needed conversation about what's going on.
I told a girl I had slept with, after making out for a while and it going no where, "What's the deal? I would like to have sexual intercourse" and she said "Well it's that time of the month" and it just so happened to be the "wouldn't you know it" worst timing and I was drunk and said something like "prove it." Wellllllll....that didn't go over well, and I had about 6 unwrapped tampons thrown at my face. It was pretty funny. But I believed her.
Haha thanks! Well I know that now for the future. I typically don't do casual sex, and the only other guy I had sex with was very mature about it verbally.
I know for sure now that the intj I was dealing with is immature.
Lol, well when I hear the word "chill" I assume it means hang out and relax. And even if it was his way of letting me know he wanted to bone, then why get angry when I came out and asked directly if we could meet up to have sex, weeks earlier? Especially if we agreed to be fwbs.
So the way I look at it, there still was no teasing, but just a matter of him not communicating effectively from the getgo... Funny thing is I know that if I hadn't asked him to come over and sit next to me and kissed him, that he would not have put my hands down his pants. He would have just not said anything, had blue balls, and then just stay mad while I left. In fact now that I think about when he's mad or something bothers him, he RARELY ever speaks up, I only get the truth if I confront him. And usually the way he verbalizes that he is unhappy with me is by ignoring me until I get the picture and confront him and then he responds.
That particular night though I think it was also a set up. He was trying to show me exactly what it feels like to be used for sex. Even the way he invited me over-looking back on it-was clearly for that purpose. And I won't be graphic but other things he did during the activity and afterwards let me know that. Which I guess is another sign of immaturity. He played these type of "get back at you games" a lot early in our interactions when I would hurt him, instead of coming out and telling me what was wrong.
Whereas the guy I dealt with before him--well there direct like you. There's no guessing involved ever lol. One thing I will say is that dealing with this particular intj has taught me how to be direct in ways I never saw myself(like asking a guy to meet up to have sex lol). Lol. And now I no longer feel afraid to just say certain things that I would have been afraid of doing before.
Oan, Do guys get upset if the girl is on her period, makes out and does heavy petting and then as he's trying to go in for the kill, she tells him she's on her period? How should that be handled to avoid the tease-should she just be direct before she gets there, like hey just so you know I'm on my period. Or is it tmi and rather insulting for the guy, because she's acting as if he's expecting sex when he might not be?