tcda
psicobolche
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2009
- Messages
- 1,292
- MBTI Type
- intp
- Enneagram
- 5
EDIT - apologies for the typo in the title. fucking keyboard.
Basically, with regards to real living memories, I can only remember small fragments of my childhood/adolescence. Otherwise, when reminiscing, I can remember events and trends (like, Pokemon, yo-yo's - what the fuck!? - teenage girls sucking dummies! - WTF!X2 - elections, world cups, economic crisis, protests, wars), but not really in any 'personal sense', i.e. I don't associate them with any feeling or active participation/reject/response on my part. (This is up to the Iraq war, were I associate this with a strong opposition on my part).
Now regarding personal life, even less. I can barely remember anything or primary school, I know when I was very young (maybe 8?) I started getting bullied by some older kids, I know I didn't tell anyone. I remember once they pulled a knife on me, and I remember hiding in the toilets during lunch break for an indefinite period of time, but I can't remember how long this went on for. Also I don't remember feeling anything about this, or having any anger or sadness, only fear - which isn't really an emotion.
Apart from that I don't remember much else of primary school - I know we used to play football ("soccer), but I don't remember what I thought of it or anything specific. Secondary school obviously I have more memories of the different friendship groups, the way things oeprated, what we used to do, but again it's like watching a set of facts and stills, I don't remember much involvement or emotional response one way or another on my part. I hated having to get up in the morning and go, I found most of the classes boring, I lacked attention, but I wasn't exactly actively wanting to "change" anything and didn't join any Cauldfield-esque sub-clique against the "phoneys" - rather I would just go through the motions, socialize jsut enough, be friendly just enough, join in common activities just enough, and wait to get home. I remember having one crush for a short period of time and little else.
Otherwise I guess I was in my own little world, my attitude to the outside world being "path of least resistance" so that I could get home quicker.
It wasn't until about 16 y/o that I began to use Ne I would say - I would say there were times before then that I would use it ery well, but that it was discouraged and I repressed it, as I considered "intellectual" to be synonymous with impractical, effeminate, geeky etc. Sad I know but that's the way millions of people have been brainwashed to think...
I wondered if this lack of Ne-Fe is common to INTP's during childhood/adolescence (obviously depends a lot on your childhood), leading them to effectively have very little memory of childhood/adolescence. I don't think it would be the same for INTJ's as their Ni is the prime function and their Fi is very fudnamental (as Si is to INTP's) and I would expect them to be more actively seeking an "identity" as youngsters.
Basically, with regards to real living memories, I can only remember small fragments of my childhood/adolescence. Otherwise, when reminiscing, I can remember events and trends (like, Pokemon, yo-yo's - what the fuck!? - teenage girls sucking dummies! - WTF!X2 - elections, world cups, economic crisis, protests, wars), but not really in any 'personal sense', i.e. I don't associate them with any feeling or active participation/reject/response on my part. (This is up to the Iraq war, were I associate this with a strong opposition on my part).
Now regarding personal life, even less. I can barely remember anything or primary school, I know when I was very young (maybe 8?) I started getting bullied by some older kids, I know I didn't tell anyone. I remember once they pulled a knife on me, and I remember hiding in the toilets during lunch break for an indefinite period of time, but I can't remember how long this went on for. Also I don't remember feeling anything about this, or having any anger or sadness, only fear - which isn't really an emotion.
Apart from that I don't remember much else of primary school - I know we used to play football ("soccer), but I don't remember what I thought of it or anything specific. Secondary school obviously I have more memories of the different friendship groups, the way things oeprated, what we used to do, but again it's like watching a set of facts and stills, I don't remember much involvement or emotional response one way or another on my part. I hated having to get up in the morning and go, I found most of the classes boring, I lacked attention, but I wasn't exactly actively wanting to "change" anything and didn't join any Cauldfield-esque sub-clique against the "phoneys" - rather I would just go through the motions, socialize jsut enough, be friendly just enough, join in common activities just enough, and wait to get home. I remember having one crush for a short period of time and little else.
Otherwise I guess I was in my own little world, my attitude to the outside world being "path of least resistance" so that I could get home quicker.
It wasn't until about 16 y/o that I began to use Ne I would say - I would say there were times before then that I would use it ery well, but that it was discouraged and I repressed it, as I considered "intellectual" to be synonymous with impractical, effeminate, geeky etc. Sad I know but that's the way millions of people have been brainwashed to think...
I wondered if this lack of Ne-Fe is common to INTP's during childhood/adolescence (obviously depends a lot on your childhood), leading them to effectively have very little memory of childhood/adolescence. I don't think it would be the same for INTJ's as their Ni is the prime function and their Fi is very fudnamental (as Si is to INTP's) and I would expect them to be more actively seeking an "identity" as youngsters.