kra and misty mountain rose, how do you understand yourself as 4w5 intjs? how does it work? what accounts for the intj 4? how is it different than other 4s and other intjs?
First, with your other post before the one I've quoted here, keep in mind that NO ONE fits exactly into the cookie cutter 'types' for either MBTI or Enneagram... or any other personality profiling system. That is what makes us unique. We aren't just robots, programmed with the same outcomes to the same life experiences. No matter how hard you try to fit yourself or others into these types, there will ALWAYS be something about it that 'doesn't quite fit'.
As far as the INTJ - Enneagram 4 type, I suppose the best way to describe it is like having to constantly cover up on the outside the raging turmoil that goes on within. The INTJ part masks the feeling part pretty well because, when forced to choose on how to proceed, I'll choose logic every time unless I'm severely stressed. People see a logical, composed, level-headed person that they can depend on. They don't see the chaos underneath.
Huge oceans of feeling exist in me, and I've been through the cycles of living and re-living painful experiences. I've always felt like an outsider and 'different'... which for the 4 becomes 'the individualist' as they begin to accept it. I've been accused of being 'Anti anything-considered-mainstream' before when I was younger. (I'm trying to be more accepting and appreciative of things that 'everyone' likes.)
The thing that I find most interesting is the blending of the 'I'm unusual and need to be KNOWN as an unusual person' of the 4 with the Ni+Te paradigm of the INTJ. My jokes and antics can be insanely weird and witty... and I'll find myself acting like a clown as a general way of 'being' in places where I have to have a certain 'familiarity' with people, like at work. They see Jekyl and Hyde... one minute I'm all goofy and acting like a fool... the next I'm all business and telling someone how it is and why my system is better and how I KNOW I'm right...
I organize things and categorize 'life' as an INTJ... but it gets warped and even weirder than Ni would normally make it when you mix in the insecurities of an E4 and the introspective and self-serving Fi. I can make my world a dark and gloomy place when I want to. I write poetry that makes people cry, but I don't often share it with people close to me, only strangers. I have also learned that there is a time and a place for letting it loose and 'indulging' in it.
I feel like I know myself better than most people. I've gone to the edge of insanity trying to ask myself WHY. WHY do I act this way? WHY do I feel this way? Some of it has been hellish and life-altering... but after each revelation I've always felt that much closer to finding 'me'. My friends have told me that I 'adapt well' and that 'adaptability' is one of my best traits. A 4 doesn't really know who they are or where their place is in the world and so adapting is easy. Its similar to the 'chameleon' aspect of the INTP. The only difference is that while I'm doing all of this changing, I'm still confident that my logic and reasoning will get me what I want and so I never falter. I just gather data, make my decisions and move on in true INTJ fashion. Whatever turmoil that my decisions cause on the feeling end don't matter until I LET them matter, and then only as a kind of 'exploratory', 'observational' 'learning about the bug in the jar' kind of way. I see the feelings, I experience them very intensely... but in the end they don't DIRECT me. They're just there, and I release them into bits of fancy word play once I feel like I have a grasp on them.
I have typical 'fear of abandonment' issues that come with the territory of a 4, but I don't SHOW it because that would be ridiculously illogical. My relationship patterns however show time and time again how I fall for the 'unavailable' person or the 'long distance', 'impossible' relationship. I suppose subconsciously I feel that if they can't truly get close to me, they can't abandon me or let me down. Understanding my childhood makes it painfully obvious WHERE this fear comes from, but it doesn't change the fact that it's there, no matter how much I try to reason it away.
I don't know if this has helped any, but this is a short glimpse I suppose of my own experience as INTJ 4w5