Sexual Five
when they finally found the perfect mate, they felt incredibly tied to the "idea" of their love and became a slave to that love. They described a conflict in holding the ideal and identifying with their own imperfection of being human, fearing that their human components might contaminate their love. "For people are not ideal and people can contaminate love." One example how they coped with this contradiction in terms was to hold the love in their mind or imagination where it could remain untainted. Another was to express love nonverbally with their body describing a deep, intense, wordless connection. They expressed the viewpoint that a shared intimacy is treasured and kept locked away to be experienced and revisited privately. They had difficulty trusting anyUione totally, though they described what a relief it would be to do so. Expressing love for Sexual Fives was often difficult, embarrassing, blinding, and controlling. They tended to emphasize nonverbal connection and sexual expression, describing that the greatest intimacy is a complete wordless understanding, though they sometimes had difficulty understanding both verbal and nonverbal, as well as physical ways of relating (summarized; lot of contradictory information?). They both sought total merging, yet were simultaneously terrified of it. They emphasized the issue of trust, sometimes trusting people at a distance but becoming reserved and closed off when they came nearer, emphasizing the need to protect themselves and to keep secrets from their intimates. They felt that intimate family members were threatening and made the greatest demands of all. In general, Sexual Fives were characterized by brief periods of intense connection and reclusive secrecy.
Self-Preservational Five The Self-Preservational Five explained that the need to isolate and reduce needs is due to the fear of not having enough personal resources or otherwise to give back. The strategy to require very little, to "hold in and hold on," was the simplest way to survive, for if they did receive something there would be an expectation to reciprocate. Therefore, they would rather have very few things to deal with that could control them. However, to go without and still desire the good things in life tormented them. They shared that they felt sad and deprived forgoing some of life's greatest pleasures to have freedom from the constriction and needs of others. They embodied the idea that "my home is my sanctuary," a place away from noise and pressure and needed a great deal of separate, private, personal space. They wanted to minimize all of their entanglements and obligations, but became involved in a cycle of boredom and wanting to recreate involvements and make commitments.