I can see your problem because I'm still not sure if my mother is an ENFJ or an ESFJ. So I'm going to listen carefully to everyone's opinions on this topic.
Regarding ESFP/ENFP, can't you see the clear difference between Ne and Se? Speaking as an ENFP, I'm not superficial, though I may pretend to be so in order to get things from people. That is, if you are attentive, you will see more depth behind my façade... what I'm interested in is understanding how things work, how the universe is connected, seeing patterns etc (you've got Ne too, so maybe you can understand what I mean). The descriptions I read online of ENFPs are indeed similar to ESFPs (bubbly, happy, upbeat etc). I think this is fake. Most of the time I'm in semi-contemplative mood or melancholic, I'm only fake bubbly if I'm in a group of people. Something else I do, and maybe you might notice in other ENFPs, is that I have very lively, expressive eyes, they are big and seem to want to "eat the world". I spend a lot of time observing, rather than participating....trying to understand the room, understand the people.
[MENTION=18820]Dancing_Queen[/MENTION] This. thank you [MENTION=18819]nicolita[/MENTION].What I do agree with pinkgrafitti on is that when we're with people, we can be a little more "bubbly" in that pure childish sense (or even in a screechy girl sense) than we naturally get only because we know that's what the social climate is calling for.
I see what pinkgrafitti is saying about being bubbly, but I kind of disagree. For me, I am definitely optimistic and have a real love for life, but I think I have a darker side as well. ENFPs often have a sarcastic or macabre sensibility that I think is less often seen in ESFPs. I think it has everything to do with Ne, enjoying those "telling" connections about hypocrisy, greed, or deceit that we are keen to (ENFPs are highly concerned with authenticity). What I do agree with pinkgrafitti on is that when we're with people, we can be a little more "bubbly" in that pure childish sense (or even in a screechy girl sense) than we naturally get only because we know that's what the social climate is calling for. We can go the other way too. I have an INTJ friend who thought I was definitely an introvert (I'm 83% extrovert) because when I'm with him, I adjust to his tone and sit quietly and talk rationally with him.
As for ESFJ versus ENFJ, I know quite a few of both types. I can say that the ESFJs are big 'everything according to the rules' people. They adhere very closely to norms (very off the rack clothing style, traditional food preferences), and are all about working hard to have a perfect home to to host people in. Both types REALLY want to help you, and I've experienced both pushing 'help' and being offended or hurt when I don't take it. The ENFJs I know are a little more 'bohemian'. They love music, are always bursting with creative ideas, and are definitely more fierce and vocal about their beliefs (political and otherwise). They're more outside the box thinkers, and although they love to host people, are usually a little less clean and perfect with their housekeeping.
ENFPs will laugh at your Ne taunts and shoot back. ESFPs will look at you puzzled.
Also, look for the girl who is slighly disheveled in appearance - like has a leaf stuck in her hair, and her blouse on inside out and walks into doors.
[MENTION=18820]Dancing_Queen[/MENTION] This. thank you [MENTION=18819]nicolita[/MENTION].
I get excited around people because my Ne has a chance to play, there are new variables to understand etc - i might be genuinely bubbly
but a part of it is also exagerated (you are right [MENTION=18820]Dancing_Queen[/MENTION], i was exagerating, i didnt mean "fake" but just "augmented). i might choose to exagerate it because I want to help the general mood, or i want something from those people, like, that they excite me, give me stuff to feed my Ne. I'm sorry, i'm not being very good at expressing what i want to say..
I keep reading this description of typical ENFP appearance but I'm yet to see it. Me and the other three ENFPs I came across to in the last two years are into fashion and very put together.
Totally agree about the clumsiness, though
I keep reading this description of typical ENFP appearance but I'm yet to see it. Me and the other three ENFPs I came across to in the last two years are into fashion and very put together.
Totally agree about the clumsiness, though
ENFJ's will take you to [insert religious denomination here] on Sunday
ESFJ's will take you downtown for tacos and a museum
ENFP's are big socialites
ESFP's are hipsters
ESFPs are socialites, ENFPs are hipsters/aliens
That's so curious an observation about ENFJs being more fierce about their political beliefs. The ENFJ I know is not fierce about anything for fear of being considered callous. But she could easily be the exception to the norm.I see what pinkgrafitti is saying about being bubbly, but I kind of disagree. For me, I am definitely optimistic and have a real love for life, but I think I have a darker side as well. ENFPs often have a sarcastic or macabre sensibility that I think is less often seen in ESFPs. I think it has everything to do with Ne, enjoying those "telling" connections about hypocrisy, greed, or deceit that we are keen to (ENFPs are highly concerned with authenticity). What I do agree with pinkgrafitti on is that when we're with people, we can be a little more "bubbly" in that pure childish sense (or even in a screechy girl sense) than we naturally get only because we know that's what the social climate is calling for. We can go the other way too. I have an INTJ friend who thought I was definitely an introvert (I'm 83% extrovert) because when I'm with him, I adjust to his tone and sit quietly and talk rationally with him.
As for ESFJ versus ENFJ, I know quite a few of both types. I can say that the ESFJs are big 'everything according to the rules' people. They adhere very closely to norms (very off the rack clothing style, traditional food preferences), and are all about working hard to have a perfect home to to host people in. Both types REALLY want to help you, and I've experienced both pushing 'help' and being offended or hurt when I don't take it. The ENFJs I know are a little more 'bohemian'. They love music, are always bursting with creative ideas, and are definitely more fierce and vocal about their beliefs (political and otherwise). They're more outside the box thinkers, and although they love to host people, are usually a little less clean and perfect with their housekeeping.
This is not what I have extrapolated from my studies.
Se would host a dinner party primarily for fostering a good atmosphere for company, for example.
Ne would host a dinner party primarily to foster healthy social connections.
Ne looks for "what they can get" out of something. Se looks for the general pleasure of experience.
It's pretty well laid out; I even remember reading this on Socionics forums...
Thinking back, I find it funny [MENTION=10984]DJ Arendee[/MENTION] typed the traditional 'gangster' type as ENFP. I see what he meant now (presuming his mind hasn't changed).
I see your point. An actualized, mature ENFP will be much more charming than an ESFP. There's an innate "wise-ness" in us that can be deadly in social situations with confidence.
This is not what I have extrapolated from my studies.
Se would host a dinner party primarily for fostering a good atmosphere for company, for example.
Ne would host a dinner party primarily to foster healthy social connections.
Ne looks for "what they can get" out of something. Se looks for the general pleasure of experience.
It's pretty well laid out; I even remember reading this on Socionics forums...
Thinking back, I find it funny [MENTION=10984]DJ Arendee[/MENTION] typed the traditional 'gangster' type as ENFP. I see what he meant now (presuming his mind hasn't changed).