I think INFJs are above that kind of behavior.
We want to be liked for who we are, not for something we can do or show. Seduction only appeals to the latter and puts a mask over the the former... not in keeping with my ideals at all.
+1
I think INFJs are above that kind of behavior.
We want to be liked for who we are, not for something we can do or show. Seduction only appeals to the latter and puts a mask over the the former... not in keeping with my ideals at all.
I can also see how an INFJs interest in a person can be misconstrued. I find myself using the same laser-like interest and focus on people I value as individuals (and as friends) that I do with men I see as potential romantic partners. I realize now this can be confusing and somewhat misleading because I'd wager most people are not accustomed to that level of attention, availability, and focus and they assume it must be a seductive maneuver. If I find a friendly target becoming a flirty target, I check myself quickly. The older I get, the more effective I am at policing myself and the persona I project.
With INFJs, the interest (maybe) precedes the valuing (maybe) precedes the romantic pursuit. Outwardly, they may all appear as the same step to the receiving party, but in our minds we are definitely at varying levels of interest. Disclaimers aside, I'd like to think that once I reach stage three (romantic pursuit mode) my "aggressive availability" becomes blatantly apparent.
[However, if my blushing, excessive smiling, elaborate gestures, and vortex-like focus while he speaks still does not trigger the "light-bulb moment", I will have no compunction about marching over and sitting on his lap and planting a big one right on the kisser. Confusion and surprise at this stage are only endearing. "But wha...? Huh?" Do not ask silly questions! You have been chosen. Accede to my wishes! :waves invisible scepter: )
Identity is by necessity contextual. You are a different person when alone, when with family, when in the bed with your lover, when with strangers. Who we are is determined in large part by who we surround ourselves with. This is not disingenuous, merely one aspect of the flux which we LABEL self.
There is really no being, only becoming. Every particle in us is in transition. Every time we eat, or void ourselves, or slough off skin or intestinal lining, we change. Everything is in motion. We are never the same person twice. Who we ARE is nothing more than a pattern of life which we have labeled for expediency. Everything is in flux.
The same applies to personality. You are, in large part, what you think about. Consequently, I am confident that if I suddenly decided to change my personality I could do so. It would take creating new habits of mind, but I think this is what personality is, merely a habit that has taken root. It seems persistent only because we string our moments into days and our days into years, but each moment consists of periodic decisions and choices about how to perceive this reality and how to act and think.
I think INFJs are above that kind of behavior.
We want to be liked for who we are, not for something we can do or show. Seduction only appeals to the latter and puts a mask over the the former... not in keeping with my ideals at all.
I think INFJs are above that kind of behavior.
We want to be liked for who we are, not for something we can do or show. Seduction only appeals to the latter and puts a mask over the the former... not in keeping with my ideals at all.
I guess the only way I can 'seduce' is by showing people parts of my inner self that I find awesome. Then I can think of myself as awesome, and if they don't like it, well, at least I picked a safe piece to show.
I'm gonna buy a liver and put an extra lung from myself on top of the deal ! What you think ?
I am glad this thread is about seduction and not business, cause your trading skills suck bigtime
I don't think she's holding back so much as she's not picking up the cues that tells her it's safe to let loose.
I've also found that a bucket of ice, a set of alligator clips, and a Barry Manilow cassette tape do strange and magical things to their receptiveness/aggressiveness, too.