the state i am in
Active member
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2009
- Messages
- 2,475
- MBTI Type
- infj
- Enneagram
- 5w4
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/sp
notice what needs of yours aren't being met when you are around others. notice your own expectations. find something to build on and try to make the most of that. check in with yourself more frequently, so that you can recognize what you are feeling and experiencing and let go of things that do not serve you.
sometimes even just drawing your attention back down into your body can slow you down, especially when anxiety is one of the primary drains. if you feel like you are not great at relating to other people, their experiences and emotions, and if you are overly concerned about how they might be responding to you internally that you lose your own anchor, that is simply exhausting. drawing your attention to your body can help you relax and still the mind. it can also help provide better access to your own emotional self, which can in turn help you relax into a more socially efficient, relationally intelligent way of being with others.
if you don't know what you're feeling, it's really difficult to put communication with others in any kind of meaningful context. then you can get stuck trying to anticipate and be ahead of everything that could happen all the time, rather than flowing with and responding to the other person (and to yourself and your own needs) more effortlessly.
sometimes even just drawing your attention back down into your body can slow you down, especially when anxiety is one of the primary drains. if you feel like you are not great at relating to other people, their experiences and emotions, and if you are overly concerned about how they might be responding to you internally that you lose your own anchor, that is simply exhausting. drawing your attention to your body can help you relax and still the mind. it can also help provide better access to your own emotional self, which can in turn help you relax into a more socially efficient, relationally intelligent way of being with others.
if you don't know what you're feeling, it's really difficult to put communication with others in any kind of meaningful context. then you can get stuck trying to anticipate and be ahead of everything that could happen all the time, rather than flowing with and responding to the other person (and to yourself and your own needs) more effortlessly.