This response isn’t specific to ENFJs.
Anyway, when I start feeling crowded by someone, I can erect a quick boundary by saying, “Hey look, I’m a grumpy old man; that’s just not going to happen.†And then I act like a grumpy old man and simply refuse to hear anymore about it.
The point is this: People come at you with their agendas. And that’s fine; just make sure you have an agenda of your own and push it with equal vigor in turn.
The tough part may be in figuring out what your agenda is vis-a-vis a given person. Perceivers like to hang with other people and then react off whatever signals the other person sends out. Perceivers don’t have strong boundaries. And lack of boundaries = lack of an agenda.
You have to be be more proactive than that with some people. So sit down and figure out what this person gives you (pros and cons) versus what you would like to get from them (pros and cons). Then erect appropriate boudaries or otherwise reconstruct your relationship appropriately. See this post for my “dinner party†example:
http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/showthread.php?t=46972&p=1859560&viewfull=1#post1859560
Don’t get too aggressive with your boundaries. If your agenda is too contradictory to theirs, you end up in a position where you and the other person can’t connect at all. Instead, regard your new-found agenda as a security blanket and try to limit its use to those times when you’re really feeling crowded. Otherwise, try to remain open to their agenda; maybe there’s something new to be learned from them and their approach to the world.
Also see this post on how to say “No†to people nicely:
http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/showthread.php?t=46972&p=1859087&viewfull=1#post1859087