InfernoToucan
New member
- Joined
- Nov 1, 2017
- Messages
- 27
- MBTI Type
- ESFJ
- Enneagram
- 6w7
Initially, I became very interested in type theory when I thought I was an INFP. When I was younger, I'd always dreamt of being a writer. I was okay at school with a horrendous attention span, barely made any friends and developed serious social anxiety, etc. daydreamed constantly with some pretty varied themes about fictional characters and my own characters...
Somehow INFP just didnt feel right. The description of Ne was an explosion of ideas. They made INFPs out to be geniuses, almost as good as the other Ne-doms and able to solve any puzzle but with the use of Ne instead of Ni. I thought "Really? That can't be me, can it?"
For a while, thinking I was among the intuitives, I was pretty high on life. My self confidence soared. I put all my energy into trying to write a book...and was struggling to find ideas. I had a few, but most of the ones I came up with were stolen. I became obsessed with trying to determine my abilities. I took a random IQ test online (I know, I know, "IQ tests online aren't completely reliable", but this one seemed pretty legitimate) and I did...okay. I got stuck on several problems, stressed that I wasn't a real intuitive because I couldn't come up with any further answers.
There was an itch in the back of my head which I believe is my inferior Ti. The desire for the truth. I kept searching for the perfect Marc in terms of MBTI...and realized I was never a Fi Dom all along. No, I'm a sensor.
And not just any sensor...a "guardian" or "giver" type. At least I could've had the talent of a Se-dom, but that seems to escape me. it hit me like a bunch of bricks: My talent is my low self esteem. I hate myself so much and don't trust my abilities that I try to be as nice as possible. After seeing that I still get rejected by other people, I thought "maybe I'm not like other people. Maybe I'm meant to be more intellectually minded. To focus on things other than my relationships with people...or in this case lack thereof"
Its sad, isn't it? My strengths in this sense are my weakness and are the reason I feel like I'm eternally doomed to never truly live a fulfilling life.
I know this is completely melodramatic and eye-rolling, but I have no where else to turn to in order to seek advice. I know many of you probably hate the fact that I am dumping on this type; hell, I'd love to be an ESFJ if I could actually make friends. If I could be a great Fe-dom. But I'm not. :/ MBTI showed me I have no strengths whatsoever. and I should just give up on the dream of being a writer, or a creative type, because how the hell can I compete with the genius of Se, Ne, and Ni doms?
Somehow INFP just didnt feel right. The description of Ne was an explosion of ideas. They made INFPs out to be geniuses, almost as good as the other Ne-doms and able to solve any puzzle but with the use of Ne instead of Ni. I thought "Really? That can't be me, can it?"
For a while, thinking I was among the intuitives, I was pretty high on life. My self confidence soared. I put all my energy into trying to write a book...and was struggling to find ideas. I had a few, but most of the ones I came up with were stolen. I became obsessed with trying to determine my abilities. I took a random IQ test online (I know, I know, "IQ tests online aren't completely reliable", but this one seemed pretty legitimate) and I did...okay. I got stuck on several problems, stressed that I wasn't a real intuitive because I couldn't come up with any further answers.
There was an itch in the back of my head which I believe is my inferior Ti. The desire for the truth. I kept searching for the perfect Marc in terms of MBTI...and realized I was never a Fi Dom all along. No, I'm a sensor.
And not just any sensor...a "guardian" or "giver" type. At least I could've had the talent of a Se-dom, but that seems to escape me. it hit me like a bunch of bricks: My talent is my low self esteem. I hate myself so much and don't trust my abilities that I try to be as nice as possible. After seeing that I still get rejected by other people, I thought "maybe I'm not like other people. Maybe I'm meant to be more intellectually minded. To focus on things other than my relationships with people...or in this case lack thereof"
Its sad, isn't it? My strengths in this sense are my weakness and are the reason I feel like I'm eternally doomed to never truly live a fulfilling life.
I know this is completely melodramatic and eye-rolling, but I have no where else to turn to in order to seek advice. I know many of you probably hate the fact that I am dumping on this type; hell, I'd love to be an ESFJ if I could actually make friends. If I could be a great Fe-dom. But I'm not. :/ MBTI showed me I have no strengths whatsoever. and I should just give up on the dream of being a writer, or a creative type, because how the hell can I compete with the genius of Se, Ne, and Ni doms?