Since most of the people referred to are women, there's a reason we don't show our balls. Metaphorically, I'm sure they have some.
I'm wondering aloud here -- you suggest that ENFPs present a lighter, less conflictual side to maintain harmony. This makes them less real, in your opinion. This just seems to be contradictory to an ENFPs need to always be authentic to themselves. I wonder if the ENFP being real -- really presenting their view but also not being able to help themselves with empathizing with the other's opinion comes across as less real. I don't think it is less real. The communication style just seems to be different. Perhaps for ENFPs, the need to really understand the other person's point of view and absorb it is pretty strong so what may come across as a wussy argument, avoidance of conflict and superficial maintenance of harmony is a real reflection of what the ENFP thinks. I understand it's frustrating for people, regardless of type when the person is not just putting their view out there and backing it with the metaphorical balls, I just don't think it's less real.
It's natural that we view the world from our perspective which is the most real to us. I admire your ability to put those balls out there and go for it. That's being real for you. That's not the only reality though for other people. In fact, presenting arguments in a 'balls out' fashion could be less real for ENFPs.
Don't try and change that about ENFPs - they don't want to grow a new pair, they have a pair that they just use differently.
P.S. I've never used balls so much in a single paragraph. I think I need to be de-balled now. Goddess!