Mal12345
Permabanned
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2011
- Messages
- 14,532
- MBTI Type
- IxTP
- Enneagram
- 5w4
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/sp
no it's in my stomach
Was this an anxiety question?
no it's in my stomach
Thanks. I think.You sound just like my husband. lol
All of the above makes sense. Most of the Fe users I know are INTP, and they certainly do avoid talking about their feelings. If anything, I am more willing to do so, but find it difficult. For me, the middle falls out. I feel the feeling, and can point to what caused it (e.g. something bad that happened at work), but can't understand or even name the feeling itself, especially if it involves several emotions all intertwined. This is why I usually bypass that step entirely and focus on the causal events. Those are external, I can see them, describe them, and ultimately do something about them. Your observation about music is on target, too.From what I've seen/discussed on here and in real life is that Fe/Ti users seem to be able to say exactly why they're feeling what they feel (not that Ti dom/aux wants to talk about it!). It has a name, and a label, and the moment the circumstances change the cause, the feeling changes to something else. I'm generalizing, of course, but it's the tendency I've seen. Fe/Ti types should feel free to correct/clarify my observations.
In my INTJ case, I just feel the feeling. It takes a long while, however, to identify what I'm feeling, and it's remarkably difficult to determine why I'm feeling it. Usually I have to let it "settle", and once it does, it makes sense. But on the fly, they tend to be confusing, so I postpone dealing with them. Having an ENFP girlfriend, I have to be more aware of these: she can pick up on my moods, where other people just assume I'm being cold/distant/spaced-out. I've had to learn to say, "Yeah, I'm kind of upset, but I'm not sure about what. I'll let you know when I figure it out, OK?"
[EDIT - I do have a tendency to associate feeling with music, but not particular songs or themes. The music writes itself.]
That makes a lot of sense, ime. I tend to find the why part pretty intelligible. Hardest part is actually getting aware of the feeling, as I find it hard to acknowledge a feeling before I'm able to make a cause/consequence connection that justifies and supports it. The feeling has usually been lingering unnoticed for a while before I register it.From what I've seen/discussed on here and in real life is that Fe/Ti users seem to be able to say exactly why they're feeling what they feel (not that Ti dom/aux wants to talk about it!). It has a name, and a label, and the moment the circumstances change the cause, the feeling changes to something else. I'm generalizing, of course, but it's the tendency I've seen. Fe/Ti types should feel free to correct/clarify my observations.
Why only the FPs?
From what I've seen/discussed on here and in real life is that Fe/Ti users seem to be able to say exactly why they're feeling what they feel (not that Ti dom/aux wants to talk about it!). It has a name, and a label, and the moment the circumstances change the cause, the feeling changes to something else. I'm generalizing, of course, but it's the tendency I've seen. Fe/Ti types should feel free to correct/clarify my observations.
With Fi, on the other hand, feeling doesn't have the labels/names. I find it interesting with all of the NFPs have colors and places for their feelings. Oro has asked me the same, and I said I didn't have any colors or places. I just feel, kind of all over, though certain emotions such as anxiety tend to center around my heart. These colors and places aren't really "names" though; it seems to be some kind of manifestation of tert/inf Si, mapping feelings onto Si-ish mental impressions. It appears to be much more difficult for Fi to determine the "real reason" for a feeling. Once Fi types determine that "real reason", they have a very precise idea of what the feeling is, and will recognize it immediately should it resurface, but they'd still be hard-pressed to say anything definitively concrete about it in the way Fe/Ti seems to be able to.
In my INTJ case, I just feel the feeling. It takes a long while, however, to identify what I'm feeling, and it's remarkably difficult to determine why I'm feeling it. Usually I have to let it "settle", and once it does, it makes sense. But on the fly, they tend to be confusing, so I postpone dealing with them. Having an ENFP girlfriend, I have to be more aware of these: she can pick up on my moods, where other people just assume I'm being cold/distant/spaced-out. I've had to learn to say, "Yeah, I'm kind of upset, but I'm not sure about what. I'll let you know when I figure it out, OK?"
Like the cat in my sig, I can't take the feeling apart and see what it is. I have to let it crawl around in my mind for a while and watch it. Once I've watched it for long enough, I know it, more or less.
[EDIT - I do have a tendency to associate feeling with music, but not particular songs or themes. The music writes itself.]
From what I've seen/discussed on here and in real life is that Fe/Ti users seem to be able to say exactly why they're feeling what they feel (not that Ti dom/aux wants to talk about it!). It has a name, and a label, and the moment the circumstances change the cause, the feeling changes to something else. I'm generalizing, of course, but it's the tendency I've seen. Fe/Ti types should feel free to correct/clarify my observations.
Thanks. I think.
the chakra map is what i now use. i think noticing chakra energies is the most useful self-awareness tool that i've discovered so far. more than the enneagram, which is useful for making predictions and getting the meaning organized so that you can see larger patterns, but doesn't really open you up to fully being present with yourself.
http://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/energyhealing4.php
c4 is equanimity and compassion. in yoga class when they say, "open up your heart center," and when your postures do that, you are more in an embracing perspective. for Fe, i feel like i can more fully mirror someone, like a ferris wheel of ups and downs that binds us together, that we mutually share, that i can kind of enter into the performance of and be with the whole performance. you identify with the gestures of the body in interaction, and you feel like a kind of consubstantiality to the relation as you feel identified to them so strongly. c4 is hard to integrate, and it seems to me like e4s know the c4 experience generally better than other types, especially those that have moved away from a deep-seated need for originality to one instead focused on equanimity. who feel originality as more of a fact, and equanimity as more of a goal that comes out of that fact (rather than confusing themselves with the meaning, and the contest to have the best meaning, the best image of originality, to be the object that is declared the most unique).
e9s, for instance, are really defined by c2. 7s kick in more c3, although 7w6s and so types sometimes tend to be less solid in this regard. e4s generally show stronger c2 than e5s. all the chakras have an emotional element or experience, but i think Fi relates across c2-c5 at least somewhat clearly. as does Fe. c3 does seem more about forcefulness, self-efficacy, self-responsibility. it's more of an engine/drive. more instinctual. more anger, fast response, yes/no, spring into action, focus, etc. the instinct triad seems to really relate to c2 and c3.