EJCC
The Devil of TypoC
- Joined
- Aug 29, 2008
- Messages
- 19,129
- MBTI Type
- ESTJ
- Enneagram
- 1w9
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/so
No, you'd forgive them because of this definition of forgiveness:If you were, say, abused by a family member as a child, and never got one apology out of it.. and even when confronting them, they brushed it off or made light of it, would you still forgive them? Why? To be a martyr? To think it's your responsibility to be all the good in the world. lol.. I guess if that works, but not everyone gives a shit about being a martyr. Beats me why it's so championed. Like it's the highest ideal or something. There are other options.
But not this one:to cease to feel resentment against
(both definitions courtesy of dictionary.com)to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.)
Like I've been saying, forgiveness by that definition isn't about using your emotional energy. It's about getting rid of your emotional energy. If you don't forgive by this definition, then you'll feel pained every time you think about the wrong done to you. But if you forgive by just not feeling angry about it anymore, but still recognizing that injustice was done, then you will be significantly happier in the long run.
AND you won't have used a lot of energy in the process. This is something that literally everyone does, whether they know it or not -- unless every grudge you hold is infinite.