From what I've heard, the only reason INTPs and ESFJs would have to hate each other is when the ESFJ tries to organize everybody and the INTP starts feeling controlled. INTPs can also be kinda controlling too, sorta, but not usually and not a lot in my experience. Also, most ESFJs are your average "I'm such a cool girl" type of person, more likely to be a follower than a leader, and when you get to that point the ESFJs' and INTPs' paths don't cross at all. That's why stories of INTP-ESFJ interactions are so resoundingly negative imho. They just don't come into the same vicinity unless one of them is clearly sick in the head, and if an INTP is sick, it just runs away. An unhealthy ESFJ controls everyone, including the INTPs.
There's also the risk of a "Spongebobby" ESFJ annoying an INTP, but it's hard not to annoy INTPs. But they're good sports and they make an effort to hide their irritation.
Also I'm not ESFJ. Just posting my observations.