CzeCze said:
You should absolutely move to that town or at the least get a PO Box so you can use it as your mailing address on resumes. With the economy the way it is, being 80 miles away from a job you're applying for is just way too much of an obstacle. Also, why are you set on that particular small college town? There are lots of small college towns in America, especially in New England and the eastern seaboard in general. Are you perhaps getting hyper focused and hung up on details rather than expanding your search range?
For the last 3 or so years of my life, my life has centered around one person (my Ex-Fiancé who is now "just friends", but still my best friend) and as a result of that, all the new friends I have mad have also been in that town or one of the towns very near it.
CzeCze said:
What is it exactly that you want to do in life? You could technically start working very soon (depending on how big an area you live in now, I live in a very populated metro sub/urban area) with the holidays by working part time in retail or picking up work as a data entry or reception particularly through a temp agency. Most likely these are not jobs or job functions that you want long term but in the interim you'll get a pay check and being 'currently employed' goes a long way with employers. Being 'currently employed' makes you more employable. As long as you don't get stuck being underemployed and keep pushing for the job you want it's a good option. You'll also feel empowered and get back in the swing of being active as opposed to letting your mind eat itself.
Some would call the town where I live a large one (population of ~208,000 + another 89000 in suburbs), but compared to major national cities, medium is probably a good size description for it. I have applied to retail jobs both in my current town and over there, but I have no retail experience (I did get one interview, but did not get that job). I've also gone through temp agencies, but the job market for them has also been very dry so they have not had new assignments for me (my previous job was a 15 month temp job that was a very good gig with great co-workers, but alas it did not last). My previous training is a 2 year degree in accounting, but even entry level jobs in that field want a bachelor's degree or equivalent experience and I've never been able to get the experience to offset that, so its been a dead end field for me (and I also found that the aspect of the field I did like were just the entry level stuff, not the career oriented aspects I'd be stuck doing if I went back to get a bachelor's in it). There are lots of jobs I don't mind doing (to me, job satisfaction has more to do with my co-workers than the actual job, but then again I've never had a job where I actually enjoyed the job itself), but there really isn't a job I want that I'm qualified for, and I had been thinking about going back to school for quite a few years, its just been something I kept putting off for the time investment needed (and I'm not a big fan of being in debt either), but now it seems like there are more good reasons to do it than to put it off.
I like helping people on an individual basis and I like solving problems, so psychology or sociology both interest me, but you need a PhD in Psychology to do just about anything with the education and Sociology is pretty iffy on actual employment potential when you compare graduate rates to job availability. My plans are not final, but for now I'm leaning very strongly toward Electrical Engineering which is intellectually stimulating and has some good employment options in the region, but I am partially color-blind, so that may be a barrier to entry into that field or program (I'll want to talk to the instructors about that before I make any final decisions).
CzeCze said:
Small college towns are generally very affordable (compared to their counterparts in larger cities and metro areas) so with the paycheck from those temp jobs you should be able to at least rent a room in the town you want to set roots in.
That is the case with my target destination, lower cost of living than where I live now, but also lower wages for a lot of the jobs there too so it evens out and might actually be a benefit if/when I get a better paying job (after I go back to school and graduate)
Entropie said:
I am not big on this but usually when my girl is like that its because she thinks too much and does too little. It gets better for her if she's actually involved into something again and thats basically what you want too. Could you loan some money and make a big leap to a major city and try to get a bad paid job there to work your way up. Then maybe go to school / work parallely that gives you the advantage of not having to hang out for too long at the same place a week and you have different challenges. Then find a partner in the big town, found a family, settle down... so on ?
As Saturned pointed out, you do make a good point about it having to do with thinking too much. Once I get started on something else, its a good thing because it serves the purpose of distracting me and is hopefully also productive for something (going ot the job workshops worked great for that, but I've now taken all the ones they have to offer
). Today has been a good day as far as not being pre-occupied with negative thoughts all day (I also found several decent jobs to apply for last night, so thats probably done a lot for my state of mind today), but once I get in that rut of negativity it can be very hard to get out again and I never know how I'm going to wake up feeling each day...
Major cities are nice to visit, but they are places where I really don't want to live and work. In addition to the reasons above for my decision of where I want to live, I really like the calm peaceful atmosphere that small towns have as opposed to the frenetic pace of even a medium size city like the one I live in now. I do want to settle down and live the rest of my life there (whether its as a single person or with a partner is up to my ex deciding if she ever wants me back or not)
Saturned said:
sorry for hijacking this moment from you, but it struck me too.
I have no objection to tangents, but I don't think it really was a tangent as it is a good point and still relevant to the issue of dealing with those states of mind.