So I guess the bigger question is how do improve these?
you know one of the real cool things about being an ENFP? I think we can use Te to understand and structure ourselves-our own minds.
When we see someone else in need we seem to first mirror their response to validate their emotions (Fi), then second come up with a plan to help get them back on track (Te).
In this case we must be aware of our OWN patterns, monitor our behavior, then choose to modify those innate patterns using Te plans. Understanding the pattern itself is extraordinarily useful, as then I know what my next innate response would be-and I can choose if I wish to continue in that direction or not.
an example-when hurt badly I will first withdraw in an Fe defensive shadow mode, if pushed further, lash out in Te defensive mode, and finally totally have an emo crying fit. By understanding these patterns, when hurt emotionally I can decide NOT to withdraw and NOT to lash out. I can decide to instead ask for time alone to process. But before understanding the above patterns-it just feels being pulled in a hundred different directions, none of which make any sense.
For these particular issues-
"I am always right"-
1) Consciously recognize our logic (Te) is grounded in "Fi values" thus will always "FEEL" right. Our default mode is to protect those value judgments with an ass kicking helping of Te-thus the slight defensive posture we take when questioned and the almost insulted "of course it is right" air we assume if questioned. This is how we are wired as we are kinda designed to take care of other people by standing up and fighting for them.
2) Identify if the problem is purely logical or not. Is there a need to defend a value? Is the feeling of "right" even relevant if it is a math problem? If it is logical, then try and distance yourself from the gut pull, mentally reframe the problem at stake as being logical and then-well-reperceive the problem in that context. I learned this early on as an undergrad.
3) If it is a value based problem, then it becomes subjective. You have to internally ask if this is a good value to fight for, is there more good to be gained by compromise, and again if reframed from a different perspective, perhaps you could judge the problem against a different set of values? Maybe it is best just not to say anything at all, even if you feel strongly.
4) Recognize often ENFPs will say a lot just via our tone of voice. The value based judgment is there so that even if we are just stating a fact, we will do so in an authoritative, almost condescending manner at times. You have to learn to listen to your own voice and monitor-self regulate I guess.
The Te vs Ti-
This is huge and we will fuck it up badly. Ti users are your best friends, so recognize you are missing info-even if you "feel" like you have the right answer and force yourself to listen. But the Fi/Fe communication issues can become real road blocks here.
um, I hope some of that was helpful....I dunno...thinking up a lot of it as I go along...