I could tell, no worries.
Hmm, sheeyit, you're an ennegram 5w4.
I'm a 4w5.
In your head, loving an idealized person in your head, avoid this trap.
In your future endeavors with love, I highly suggest you actually spend real time, in real life, with the girl, avoid cerebral love, aka idealized love.
You can enjoy these cerebral connections IRL but if you spend too much time in your head, or online, writing/fantasizing about being with each other as opposed to actually being with each other you will get burned.
Love is imperfect, clumsy even.
It must be experienced, not idealized.
I know, tis hard for us uber-Ns, but unless you want to live a life of loneliness you actually have to date and play the proverbial field to actually ever feasibly find someone to spend your life with.