You're busy taming your Fe
Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it *pats head*
LOL! Being able to tell everyone and anyone exactly what is on your mind at the drop of a hat is not always a blessing! Haaah! That's a great observation!
Edit:
Ok, I'll add something to it. It seems you're in the throws of working out which social protocols you relate to and which ones you disagree with and the nuanced situations put you on the fence as you haven't figured it out that far yet...
Yes, agreed. Either end of the spectrum (good or bad) is simple to deal with, in comparison to the situations you don't really know how you feel about, let alone how you can handle them. And by handling them I don't mean extinguishing them in a manner that is of least difficulty/impact to you, but by recognizing what you've done in a particular instance, and understanding how you are accountable for the greater good of that which is beyond you.
Life is about two things:
(1) Choices
(2) Accountability
This is not a dress rehearsal; this is the big show - so do your best and enjoy the experience.
...But, being ESTP, I suspect you'll figure it out as you find yourself more and more in those situations and get frustrated.
Someone appears to have witnessed one or more ESTPs figure out a few of life's bigger lessons.
At some point, you'll have experienced enough of them while paying attention to them up close to navigate those and know what you stand for without even blinking an eye
THIS. More poignantly worded than I could ever manage. When you find yourself slaying dragons without breaking a sweat in the midst of living your life and accomplishing that which you have set out to do - you're on to something.
Also, you probably should apologise and explain what was going on to your friends. Trust me, they'll love you more for it.
This is perhaps one of the greatest lessons of sincerity that anyone can ever learn.
IMHO, no one has learned a damn thing until they have completely screwed something up that strained their relations with others dear to them and then had to bathe in the reality that they were wrong, and needed to admit as such to those who experienced the brunt end of that situation.
Apologizing is not always easy.
In fact, as someone who learned to apologize fairly late in life - I know exactly how gut wrenching it can be. Sometimes you have to apologize for things that you could rationally [/i](and effectively, might I add)[/i] argue against in front of God and country; but failure to do so would result in more harm and disarray than any chink in your armor could ever cost your pride and/or ego.
But in the same breath I will tell you this, when someone who has wronged you extends the same grace it is a powerful experience. And if they mean it, and they put forth the effort to make right what wrong(s) they have caused, then they earn a degree of credibility that is hard to deny. Anyone can be determined and zealous. Far fewer have the grace to clean up the mess caused when they overstep their bounds - whether intentionally or by complete accident.
Discretion is the better part of valor.
Also, let's see if our more experienced, ever amazing resident ESTP energiser bunny can help you out. Oh, @Halla74
...who's the biggest protector of mankind of them all?? [/QUOTE]
Upon your call, I will do all possible to be of benefit.
I really feel like you've touched on something here that the... entire population of the world may also be able to relate to...
THIS. umpyouup:
Hah. Even other ENFJs. I sometimes feel like strangling other ENFJs. But more generally, I get the sense that 99% of the world will disapprove of some aspects of one's being.
I dated an ENFJ for 4 years, and yes, she was emotionally intense - but I loved that about her.
A few years back I had the honor of supervising two ENFJs at work, one a brilliant programmer 10 years my senior, and the other a very determined and effective analyst 10 years younger than me. They were BOTH hard as hell to supervise. More days than not they butted heads with me, and God help everyone within earshot (about a 485 mile radius) who survived those conversations.
BUT - to their credit - they both got shit done. They always brought what I needed by the time I needed it, and they were able to get such things from people that I did not (want to) deal with because I simply had way too much going on to labor as such, yet part of that was my default nature not being able to jive with such said stubborn, head-game wielding folk - but my ENFJs - they could extract what was needed from the obstructionists with relative ease.
If you disagree with an ENFJ, telling them why you disagree, and just as importantly - telling them that you understand why they feel it is the right thing to do, will chip off a huge part of the boat anchors they have when they dig their heels into the ground waiting for the sky to fall until what they think should happen does. But they are not without reason, they need to be given a valid business case - and it needs to be delivered to them in terms that they identify with. Once you manage to establish that connection - they will be your greatest advocate. Until that moment, however, you will be paying your dues - whether you are their boss or not.
Ask me some other time what it's like to manage an ESTP...
It's basically equivalent to a fucking nightmare waiting for a crisis to destroy the terrors that somehow squirmed their way into the mix of otherwise productive endeavors - but we do it well, and it's never dull watching all you ever asked for happen in ways that you never thought were necessary - or possible, but you seriously didn't have time to and we couldn't resist convincing you to pay us to "help" you help us - LMAO!!
What I'm trying to convey in all sincerity, is that all of us have gifts and errors. Where one is heinously effective the other will barely get by. If one of us is good at most things, the few things we are not good at will be those that cause us the most grief. The beauty of this paradox is that to grow and achieve past our own native realms of excellence, we must rely on - and hence give control over some things to others and hope for the best. If you give someone control over something that can ruin you then that is your error. The reality is though that most people will consistently live up to the lowest expectations you have of them, which is why holding people to high standards, and walking in those same shoes is the exceedingly difficult, but equally rewarding path to a rewarding life in the ways that you value most.
Love others, love yourself, and love all the errors that are exchanged in the course of living in peace and prosperity together.
-Halla74