The two ESTPs I've had problems with started off incredibly rocky and ended fine. I'm not sure what I did, but I felt this needling from them that I didn't like. First strategy is to avoid, which usually works most of the time. But I felt like they were seeking me out to start drama on purpose. Even the ESTP I work with at first would come to my cube and start talking to me and it would end in an disagreement of some kind. When I realized my chain was being yanked I wouldn't even turn around when she came by. When I worked in retail the other ESTP would seek me out when I tried to avoid them. On the days she and I worked together I asked to be put in another part of the store so not to interact with her but she'd still come over to me.
So if you're saying they purposely seek people out to start drama with and get a response then I'd say whatever poo gets on them from the fall out is what they deserve. I certainly don't even try to restrain myself like that. I think I get what you're saying that for them it was always fun and games, but I guess I don't see it that way. I see it as their way of being in control of their environment and the people in it which if the need is strong enough is actually a weakness. I've never viewed ESTPs as being as easygoing as they're portrayed, I've always thought they were very sharp, perceptive, and dominant people.
What I've found is that most people tend to cave into to them which creates less friction. And at this point I don't even know if it's about personality type. It seems to me that if you fall into their pack (probably stemming from tertiary Fe) you're cool and protected but if not, you're poked and prodded until some reason is found.
Like I said when I snapped a few times at these ESTPs they both eventually settled down and left me alone. If it was all funnyhaha I suppose they would've continued for shits and giggles but they didn't. And the ESTP I work with now is actually surprisingly open with me about stuff which I would've never expected given how we started out.
What I'm not liking about this thread is the idea that an ENFJ is basically powerless against an ESTP. It's just not true. This is nothing I think is good or am proud but I can crack people. It's a nasty trait I've noticed about myself. I can do it by sheer overwhelming emotional persistence or by taking something incredibly personal that you've revealed to me about yourself and bashing you over the head with it. Like I said I'm not proud of it, but I know I've done it when I've gotten really angry and am just lashing out and couldn't care less about the repercussions of my words. Some people know that being cool and unruffled is their strong point. That's not my strength and I'll never claim it to be.
Yeah, maybe it's me, but I've never seen this be an ineffective tactic. And I'm not talking about crying and wailing and screaming as a tactic either.
And the bolded is why you don't get along with us as much as you may (or may not?) like to
Sorry, you're wrong, it IS fun and games for us.
Oh and as for being able to overpower an ESTP sorry again, believe me, I've seen an ENFJ explode at me throwing everything they have and I'm not talking about crying either
But what you're
not understanding is that
WE DON'T GIVE A SH*T
For some reason the ENFJ I know thinks I'm trying to control her too, that I have some kind of agenda when I don't... its purely f**king comical.
As for 'cracking' an ESTP? I think ThatGirl said it best (in another thread) "You never really do, even if you think you are."
I've had ENFJs use things like
"I wouldn't ordinary seek a person like you out as a friend"
Hurtful? Yeah sure. A good attack? Sure why not... Useful against an ESTP? Hell no.
"You're an arrogant manipulative pig"
Usually said when they can't accept that we might actually be right, if this is said we generally just ignore it and go back to using logic and reason to paint a picture of our side of the story
Point is these lines go in one ear out the other... they are personal emotional digs that won't phase an ESTP
After an argument between these 2 types
No one gave in or accepted the other persons point of view
No body "won" per say
The ESTP still doesn't care
The ENFJ is pissy and feels like sh*t
I'd rather still feel good, I'd consider that a win even if no-one caved in
Oh and one last thing, we
ARE the easy going type as portrayed... but I've given up trying to convince ENFJs of anything, if they want to believe we are controlling a-holes then fine, whatever.
Even my friend ENFJ when he read into MBTI said my type "sounded like an a-hole" and I'm like... "what part?" and he just said about the parts where we don't take peoples feelings into account etc
I replied that I'm objective and I don't see a problem with that
Also just because you don't feel as much as somebody else doesn't mean you don't make good choices
Eh