That's such bullshit. Why the hell do we get panned for having self-worth and attacking back when our values get treaded on? It happens so frequently with ENFJ's and any other type. I know that we have very strong personalities but that doesn't give people a right to discount us when we defend ourselves. I'm so tired of seeing that left and right. We maintain the harmony of the group and push people to be all that they can and every other type just shits all over us...
*sigh*
1. I wasn't saying that it is INHERENTLY bad for an ENFJ to attack back, only that this won't go well with the ESTP in particular, who won't like that kind of big and nuanced response. Because when an ENFJ gets offended and feels attacked, they attack back BIG and emotionally. That is not BAD, but it
is distasteful to an ESTP, who won't waste their time with it over the long haul (or understand how to deal with ENFJ drama). That's all I meant to show.
2. I spent four years with an ENFJ, allowing him to dominate our relationship and run things his way. If I did one thing that didn't match up to his mental image of what he wanted me to be, he would react extremely emotionally and volatile. This could be not answering "What are you thinking about?" in the way he wanted to hear. ENFJs do wonderful things, but every type has their weak points, and not every other type can tolerate those weak points.
Many INFJs find ESFJs weak points intolerable, for instance. It is my opinion that ESTPs would hurt ENFJs feelings all the time, and the ENFJ's dramatic reactions would be very intolerable to an ESTP.
3. ENFJs can play the victim, as you are showing right now. You're saying that ENFJs are basically blameless, but all that happens is they get shit on by every other type. This is an overstatement to be sure. Don't you think that every type receives backlash from EVERY other type, due to their own special weaknesses? If every type is mad at ENFJs for blowing up emotionally, maybe that would be a place that an ENFJ would want to start working on personal growth. To turn it around so you know I'm not singling you out, I could say that in my real life, I'm not good at expressing my negative feelings. That causes misunderstandings and people to mistreat me at times. So that's a place I need to start working. Get it? We all have weaknesses, it ain't personal.