positives...he gets a great big smile when he sees me, he says he loves me (which I know he means as a friend), he tells me how much my friendship means to him, hugs me a lot, when we talk (on the phone, especially) the conversation is usually somewhat intimate (he and I both share personal information) and very positive and encouraging, when we are at a party he usually comes over to talk to me before I come over to talk to him.
Wow Really? Does he hug everyone? I don't hug, like, anyone.
Depends though, but I don't typically ever initiate a hug. Only very, very rarely & w/ ppl very special to me.
Also... as an enfj he should be aware of the implications that spreading "I love you" can have and even if he says it to friends, should be only close friends. Then again it may be different for male enfjs.
I pretty much never say I love you, except to, again, ppl with whom I feel extremely comfortable. My boundaries are just too thin to be saying stuff like that to anyone.
Also, another telltale sign-
If he goes to the extent of telling you how much your friendship means to him... well for me, I only very rarely do that. And its typically reserved for ppl I feel a deeper connection w/, unique ppl I consider special.
negatives...I am almost always the initiator of contact (phone calls, emails, etc.) and I am the one who almost always issues the invitations to do something (although he almost always says yes). (He has an extremely busy schedule and is very popular.)
I agree w/ those who say that if he is saying yes (like more than 50% of the time) he genuinely enjoys your company.
one weird thing...I have caught him staring at me, maybe 10 different times over the last year, usually with a really intense look that I can't really define.
Now this I can relate to.
At least for me, this means I am reading the person.
That really intense look means I must find the person interesting enough in the first place to notice them, and that frequently- yes even just 10 times over the past year- means I think the person's personality is layered with complexity. Which I like, a lot.
However... when you notice him staring at you can he tell you've noticed?
I'm guessing you are able, as an infj, to pick it up quite accurately within your peripheral vision this intense kind of staring and would be less likely to make eye contact in these moments.
If you make eye contact he will most likely become suddenly aware and only do this when you are distracted.
At least that's what happens w/ me. But if you are making eye contact and he is still staring, well, I think it goes without saying that for any guy [of any type] that means he finds you attractive.
Also...
I once recently worked temporarily w/ an INFJ intern. We led groups together in the mental health setting.
As I was getting to know her, she told me right off that my intense stare made her feel uncomfortable, only not in those words... she said something that could be interpreted as positive to acknowledge it, but also mentioned it was very intimidating.
I was shocked, bc I had no idea she had noticed, nor that my observation of her facial expressions, gestures affected her
at all. There literally were NO signs whatsoever.
This is not typically the case, since I usually see plenty of feedback (or lack thereof) to tell me what ppl may or may not be comfortable w/.
Needless to say, I stopped. And her comment was really all I needed to know, told me volumes about her.