Satachi
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- Dec 31, 2018
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- 42
Apologies in advance for quoting without the names. Reading some of the older threads, I really liked one of the suggestions that (sx) throw out bits of information to see whether someone will take a bite and then share their own opinion.
Thinking about my own style (sp), I often feel like I need TIME specifically to determine whether I should trust the other person even if I'm 95% sure of who they are based off our interaction. With time, I feel more secure that they won't betray me or leave even if the connection itself is fantastic. This feels like it might be a (sp) thing, but maybe it's just universal for all (sx/sp/so) types. How strongly do sx or so types relate to this?
Regarding so, people described themselves as needing an established relationship first before divulging personal information. This seems similar to the requirement of time but I'm not entirely sure. Eitherway, it's clear the difference between (sx and so), where sx builds trust by seeing how people react to personal information, while (so) seem to be the other way around.
How do (so) types go about establishing that trust?
It's possible to know someone for a long time, but that doesn't mean that you feel the need to trust them in a deeper way.
When I meet someone I don't know and who responds to me on a personal level, it's like shots of caffeine and cocaine shot straight to the brain. Everything revs up immediately into overdrive and I'm completely immersed in the conversation. And because they are a mystery to me in many ways, that engages my intuition and curiosity -- I want to understand them and see how they fit together and "know" who they are.
I'm ready to be open and intimate whenever you are, but if I see that you have a roadblock up, it makes me back up. It makes me think, "if they are throwing up a roadblock, then apparently they think roadblocks are necessary in this relationship. But, it would always result in me sharing something really personal - or even personal feelings that I had - and then I'd be like, "OK, your turn!" And then they would clam up or "couldn't put it into words" or "needed more time to process" or "can we talk about something else?"
I want it to go "step for step". I open up a bit, then you open up a bit. Then I'll open up further, then you open up further. Once I know that I've opened up like 3 levels beyond what you have, I'll stop. Not to play games, it's more subconcious than that. If you can't "come along with me" on the journey of opening up, then it freezes me. I've told ex's in the past that I'm a total open book. I'll share anything with them. I wear it all on my sleeve. There's nothing I will not talk about. But, you've gotta come with me.
Thinking about my own style (sp), I often feel like I need TIME specifically to determine whether I should trust the other person even if I'm 95% sure of who they are based off our interaction. With time, I feel more secure that they won't betray me or leave even if the connection itself is fantastic. This feels like it might be a (sp) thing, but maybe it's just universal for all (sx/sp/so) types. How strongly do sx or so types relate to this?
I can definitely relate to loving one-on-one time and being upset if other people are around when a friend invites me over. I am also very cautious when it comes to toxic relationships and cut off these kind of people immediately and am also careful about developing emotional intimacy, while on the other hand I naturally try to go deeper and need at least one or two deep meaningful relationships.
Regarding so, people described themselves as needing an established relationship first before divulging personal information. This seems similar to the requirement of time but I'm not entirely sure. Eitherway, it's clear the difference between (sx and so), where sx builds trust by seeing how people react to personal information, while (so) seem to be the other way around.
I do, however, think SX-last types are less inclined to discuss or more inclined to downplay private matters. Yeah, I agree with what was said above that we just don't like to talk about it openly as much. Maybe because:
So overrides Sx to not disturb a social environment/image.
Sp overrides Sx to protect a possible route of vulnerability.
She is quite So/Sp, and he was definitely Sx-dom from what I could tell. She expresses strong resistance to intimacy - even after being very close friends for 6 years, I still have to prompt her or she will not share the quiet details.
How do (so) types go about establishing that trust?
It's possible to know someone for a long time, but that doesn't mean that you feel the need to trust them in a deeper way.