Ghost of the dead horse
filling some space
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2007
- Messages
- 3,553
- MBTI Type
- ENTJ
I've spent the last 10 weeks doing on average 12-hour workdays at least 6 days a week, combined from intense studying and paid work.
My goal was clear. To finish my school. First to do two month's paid work in one month, then to do a year's worth of writing in one month. I was concentrated, the task was clear - neglect most of the content in life, neglect everything - concentrate on the work.
Now it's over and I feel a bit depressed. It's been two days now. I barely even feel the importance of anything, but I vaguely desire some kind of fulfillment, feeling, perhaps art, connection or something like that.
I could continue working on another goal, which I have already set. Getting a good job over the one I just quit. I don't have much time before I'm out of money, so I better start right away.
I'm just wondering, at what time will I be able to find what's meaningful and important? I've had it at a time, but not for a while.. but it'll come there.
Perhaps I'm depressed because of having neglected most of everything except Te. Well, I got the job done, so I was bloody damned effective. Now that I'd wish everything to do with friends, arts, joy of life, carefree life, everything I've enjoyed before.. I realize that I haven't taken a good care of any of that in the past two months or more. Perhaps even 4 months.
I guess these meaning-of-life -kind of things need steady maintenance, or else they break and need to be repaired.
My goal was clear. To finish my school. First to do two month's paid work in one month, then to do a year's worth of writing in one month. I was concentrated, the task was clear - neglect most of the content in life, neglect everything - concentrate on the work.
Now it's over and I feel a bit depressed. It's been two days now. I barely even feel the importance of anything, but I vaguely desire some kind of fulfillment, feeling, perhaps art, connection or something like that.
I could continue working on another goal, which I have already set. Getting a good job over the one I just quit. I don't have much time before I'm out of money, so I better start right away.
I'm just wondering, at what time will I be able to find what's meaningful and important? I've had it at a time, but not for a while.. but it'll come there.
Perhaps I'm depressed because of having neglected most of everything except Te. Well, I got the job done, so I was bloody damned effective. Now that I'd wish everything to do with friends, arts, joy of life, carefree life, everything I've enjoyed before.. I realize that I haven't taken a good care of any of that in the past two months or more. Perhaps even 4 months.
I guess these meaning-of-life -kind of things need steady maintenance, or else they break and need to be repaired.