My mother is ISTJ and she has told me that when things (not limited to big changes, but to small chnagez as well) change after being a certain way for years she feels very upset.
My ISTJ grandma seems to struggle with that a lot, too. Of course it is common among older people to be nostalgic, but she has a unique expression of it in terms of it seems like she has an established past "ideal" in her head for the way a lot of things should be and it's often quite specific - for example, we spent months trying to find her a white heavy cable knit long-sleeved cardigan with pockets and buttons.
Often her complaints are perfectly valid, like how clothing integrity has gone down over time and how someone's dessert was too moist. I suspect that she is venting some of her frustration at losing her independence through these complaints - trying to regain the control she previously had. But she doesn't always seem to have a very good sense that sometimes her complaints really hurt others because they have personally worked hard on whatever she is criticizing, and/or on trying to make her happy. The person/effort and the item/quality seem to be fairly unrelated in her mind, which I assume is more T-style thinking, but unfortunately a lot of the people caring for her are Fs who make strong personal attachments.
What do you mean when you say the person is unimportant?
Has she always been like that, or has it just been in recent years? My stepdad's mom is extremely critical, too, but she wasn't always that way. Maybe it's more a symptom of getting older. I've noticed that elderly people in general become really attached to their routines, and resistant to change. That's not necessarily an ISTJ thing. Unless she's always been that way.Well, not unimportant, just unrelated. I don't think she quickly realizes that rejecting everything my mom brings her for a week to try to satisfy her requests can get exhausting and disheartening for my mom, or that frequently telling the dining staff that their food isn't good can be hurtful and discouraging when they're the people who spend a long time working on it. She's very caring and friendly, and always expresses appreciation when people do things for her. I just don't think she is very aware of how her criticism can impact others for the worse.
BadOctopus said:are those annoyances really exclusive to ISTJs? I'm not an ISTJ, and all of those things are annoying to me. Especially slow walkers. Uuurrrghhh. How do they not see that they're holding everyone up?
I don't know what bothers other types. I suspect that ISTJs are more adept at spotting faults that escape other types. I only say this because I'm a fan of "Restaurant Impossible" and "Tabitha's Salon Takeover". Both are rescue shows of failing businesses with the ISTJ host finding the root of the problem within a very short period of time.
Has she always been like that, or has it just been in recent years? My stepdad's mom is extremely critical, too, but she wasn't always that way. Maybe it's more a symptom of getting older. I've noticed that elderly people in general become really attached to their routines, and resistant to change. That's not necessarily an ISTJ thing. Unless she's always been that way.
An issue I forgot to mention: ISTJs are also notorious for having back problems.