I am unapologetic about my abrasive ENFJ tendencies, my lack of desire to fully extend and deplete myself for others, and my uncanny ability and desire to not just cater to everyone else's delicate sensibilities if it won't do anything but keep them safely ignorant. I'm all for the harmony-hands, but I shudder at the thought of kitten-cuddles just for the sake of it.
The ENFJ one hasn't been all bad, though I've definitely heard a lot of others spiral into a hot mess. The majority of people post in sub-ENFJ groups and explain they were banned for pretty much having an un-cult-like opinion in many cases. I just take breaks from it most times, or find less cult-mentality groups to post in to ease the monotony lol.I have heard nothing but bad things about MBTI facebook groups. I wouldn't touch them with a 10ft poll and I don't use groups on facebook for that sort of thing anyway. It's probably best if you find a different location browse.
I'm certainly not the cuddle-bunny stereotype of an ENFJ, and I know several IRL that aren't. It just seems common because the descriptions are often geared that way and it draws those individuals in since it fits well.
The fun part is that they post so often about "How do I not overextend myself so much" "How do I not be so overrun" "The feeeeeels are killing meeee", but the happy-bunny mentality still reigns supreme even though they havent figured out they need the balance to make it work.I think this is wonderful but I believe you're in the minority.
The fun part is that they post so often about "How do I not overextend myself so much" "How do I not be so overrun" "The feeeeeels are killing meeee", but the happy-bunny mentality still reigns supreme even though they havent figured out they need the balance to make it work.
The ENFJ one hasn't been all bad, though I've definitely heard a lot of others spiral into a hot mess. The majority of people post in sub-ENFJ groups and explain they were banned for pretty much having an un-cult-like opinion in many cases. I just take breaks from it most times, or find less cult-mentality groups to post in to ease the monotony lol.
I can see the new-to-typology folks really buying into our basic description, but then the more seasoned ENFJs tend to perpetuate it for them. I find i'm one of the few who frequently mentions self preservation while still remaining compassionate.
You explained that so easy-likeThat's unsurprising considering you're a 4w5, which is (while not unheard of) uncommon for ENFJ's. Additionally, 2's are argueably the most common type for ENFJ's and much of their descriptions mirror that of 2's. ENFJ's like groups and hive-mind type stuff as a general rule, which in many ways goes against what a 4 is all about.
I think having one of these bad boys for the ENFJs fits quite nicely with the others. So shiny. So... shiny... *eye spirals*
I feel a little unqualified for some stupid reason (I hate reason! Get outta here!) to start this thread because my E/I axis is nearly balanced with one beating out the other at any given time, but big fat whatever!
I learn a lot from the NFJs here.
So learn me. *whips out little slate and chalk and kicks Tom Sawyer*
I take it as proof positive of the fact that I am an ENFJ that, having no forewarning whatsoever, I chose the most common ENFJ answer in the poll that originates this thread.
Hello there new ENFJ! That poll is the quickest ENFJ test known to humankind.
Personally, I've taken a lot of time to introspect and I'm generally straightforward about myself. I can't speak for other ENFJs in this regard. I think it can be easier to hide from one's self in the focus of someone else's self. However, that can be exactly where our own special brand of enfj will show itself whether we acknowledge it or not.How easy is it for you to "ignore" who you really are? And conversely, how difficult is it for you to ignore who everyone else is? I expect the answers to be roughly the inverse of an INFP's, but set me straight if they're not.
Are there certain people (or Types) that you can't "calm" or otherwise influence because you can't stand to sponge up the anxious or negative emotions they waft?
What's with the ENFJ stare? This one falls under "ask an ENFJ," but as long as I'm here....
And of course I read it as vulva.
Personally, I've taken a lot of time to introspect and I'm generally straightforward about myself. I can't speak for other ENFJs in this regard.
I can't ignore others really if I get an aura of facade or exaggeration. It pollutes the air around me, and radiates throughout a place. Others can be oblivious to it, and think me overreacting, but it's just not being seen or felt the same way.
I"m the exact same way. I always try to be as authentic and "me" as possible.
SO MUCH YES.
I don't know how I know, but I just know when someone is putting on a facade and this huge amount of dislike and animosity just builds inside me. It's not that i dislike the person, it's that I dislike their fakeness. If it weren't for my dislike of conflict I'd be calling people out left and right.
It ruins my concentration if I'm around someone like that because I just get these awful feelings and thoughts of "oh my god stop, you're not that great" or "omg get over yourself" "ok we all know that's an exaggeration, stop lying" but really I'm the only one who seems to know it's an exaggeration.
I remember a specific example of this was freshmen year during my Nursing orientation. There was one girl there who had come from another more prestigious school and had built herself up as this amazing special snowflake. She had a possy of girls following her around praising her every word and I was just thinking "oh my god, if you were that great you'd still be over at that school. Why are you really here?" It just irritated me SO MUCH.
I have had her in many of my classes since and she's still continued to be so fake. She puts on an air of extreme niceness, but it's only to her benefit so that she can get things out of people. She acts really shy, sweet, and reserved where people are like "omg you're so cute, of course I'll help you". No. She's not cute, she's using you to her advantage. Even I have fallen prey to her tactics, only to be dissed and disregarded with no credit given towards the final product.
It irritates me so much that everyone thinks "she's soooooo nice" and are blind to everything she's doing. I believe she's highly insecure and puts on this persona as a false confidence. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if she was an ENFJ herself using manipulation tactics and portraying the persona of an ISFJ to get what she wants.
On another note, am I the only one who has a bunch of ISTPs always trying to date me? Like no, it's really not gonna work.
I"m the exact same way. I always try to be as authentic and "me" as possible.
It's not that i dislike the person, it's that I dislike their fakeness. If it weren't for my dislike of conflict I'd be calling people out left and right.
How do you generally "rid" people in a group? For me I tend to go to my friends individually and get an opinion from each one. I'll ask questions like "what did you think when they did X? I felt like they meant Y" and see what the response is. Usually it allows them to see how the person really is and one of my more blunt friends (ESFP) will usually handle it by calling them out on every dumb thing they do. We love her, haha.
You love her because she has the backbone you lack. You are neither straightforward or authentic. You don't speak your mind, you use the group (or one individual in the group) to do your bidding.
How do you generally "rid" people in a group? For me I tend to go to my friends individually and get an opinion from each one. I'll ask questions like "what did you think when they did X? I felt like they meant Y" and see what the response is. Usually it allows them to see how the person really is and one of my more blunt friends (ESFP) will usually handle it by calling them out on every dumb thing they do. We love her, haha.
I don't like calling out people because I'm generally the only one bothered by it, and I don't wanna cause unnecessary drama. I usually just stop talking to them and they tend to get the message that I'm either not buying it or they think I just don't like them. (I don't really care either way).