Short story long, develop some Fe and figure out how to modify your approach based on the social context
Life is too short for ''feelings''
Edit: Lol... but yeah, I assumed that O.P meant this as during ''work-ish'' type environments. Any healthy ENXJ can tone it way down when it's a social situation with friends etc. The healthy ones are very aware of their desire to control and if ''we'' REALLY need to get something done a certain way we can usually find a way to do it so it doesn't seem demanding or anything like that I.E explaining nicely why something would be ideal if done a certain way and then letting them do it whenever they please.