CollisionCourse?
New member
- Joined
- May 11, 2010
- Messages
- 52
- MBTI Type
- INTP
I would like to ask female INFJs a little question and possibly get some advice. The gal in question is only the second of your type I know and the first one was highly neurotic, so I still have a hard time understanding your algorithms.
We met each other a few years back when we were still teenagers (not that I matured that much... ). I always considered her an amazing girl, but my poor INFP friend got really crazy about her back then, so I didn't take her as anything more, than a potential friend (unfortunately for the guy, it wasn't mutual). We never became close friends or anything and we usually see each other only very occasionaly.
Few months back, when we got a little drunk (1 am), she told me, that she was in love with me after we first met and reproached me for ignoring that (not that I technically did. I never noticed anything I could possibly ignore). I tried digging deeper into that, but she got quite defensive. After she said, that it's all long gone, I just left it at that.
We met on several social occasions in the last weeks. We were always surrounded by other people and never had a chance to talk one-on-one, but I started sensing, that there actually may be some attraction on her side. I don't know, I may just see things that aren't there, since I'm not very good at this, but I red about some signs on this site (look, smile, being chatty...) and I think it may have been there. The problem is, that she's an actress, so I have no idea if I'm not just overanalyzing some social mask she is used to wear (she's not bad at that).
Two days ago, I talked to her on a phone regarding one little project she's involved in. I just needed to go through some things with her, but she couldn't talk for long, so she proposed a meeting. After a quick comparsion of our schedules, she came up with one possible time, but I dissmised it, because it was to late to consequently solve the issue at hand. We agreed to risk it and just improvise if the situation calls for it.
Some things changed yesterday and I called her again to find out if we can really meet after all, and she offered, that she potentially had some time later at night after some performance. When I found out, that she wanted to meet in a pub somewhere and couldn't make it to the place where I actually needed her at, I declined it again for the same reason.
Only after she sadly replied, that she thought, that I just wanted to talk with her, it struck me, that she could have been possibly just trying to set up a date without need of saying the real purpose. It never crossed my mind until that moment, since I was too concentrated on coordinating with a buch of chaotic perceivers (not that it's any excuse), so I was too startled to cross that line back.
What I want to know is, if my conclusion is really plausible. Am I just overanalyzing something here?
And if I'm correct, how much did I screw up? What would be your reaction to that?
And if it's bad, what should I do to make thinks right? (preferably something that doesn't expect me to be an ESTP) I wouldn't mind dating her, but I'm a little lost here. As I said, I'm really not good at reading her, so it's also possible that this whole thing is just in my head. Any response welcome, thank you. And sorry for mistakes.
We met each other a few years back when we were still teenagers (not that I matured that much... ). I always considered her an amazing girl, but my poor INFP friend got really crazy about her back then, so I didn't take her as anything more, than a potential friend (unfortunately for the guy, it wasn't mutual). We never became close friends or anything and we usually see each other only very occasionaly.
Few months back, when we got a little drunk (1 am), she told me, that she was in love with me after we first met and reproached me for ignoring that (not that I technically did. I never noticed anything I could possibly ignore). I tried digging deeper into that, but she got quite defensive. After she said, that it's all long gone, I just left it at that.
We met on several social occasions in the last weeks. We were always surrounded by other people and never had a chance to talk one-on-one, but I started sensing, that there actually may be some attraction on her side. I don't know, I may just see things that aren't there, since I'm not very good at this, but I red about some signs on this site (look, smile, being chatty...) and I think it may have been there. The problem is, that she's an actress, so I have no idea if I'm not just overanalyzing some social mask she is used to wear (she's not bad at that).
Two days ago, I talked to her on a phone regarding one little project she's involved in. I just needed to go through some things with her, but she couldn't talk for long, so she proposed a meeting. After a quick comparsion of our schedules, she came up with one possible time, but I dissmised it, because it was to late to consequently solve the issue at hand. We agreed to risk it and just improvise if the situation calls for it.
Some things changed yesterday and I called her again to find out if we can really meet after all, and she offered, that she potentially had some time later at night after some performance. When I found out, that she wanted to meet in a pub somewhere and couldn't make it to the place where I actually needed her at, I declined it again for the same reason.
Only after she sadly replied, that she thought, that I just wanted to talk with her, it struck me, that she could have been possibly just trying to set up a date without need of saying the real purpose. It never crossed my mind until that moment, since I was too concentrated on coordinating with a buch of chaotic perceivers (not that it's any excuse), so I was too startled to cross that line back.
What I want to know is, if my conclusion is really plausible. Am I just overanalyzing something here?
And if I'm correct, how much did I screw up? What would be your reaction to that?
And if it's bad, what should I do to make thinks right? (preferably something that doesn't expect me to be an ESTP) I wouldn't mind dating her, but I'm a little lost here. As I said, I'm really not good at reading her, so it's also possible that this whole thing is just in my head. Any response welcome, thank you. And sorry for mistakes.