I have a question for male 2s.
Is society's expactation of masculine behavior in many ways opposite your motivations? Do you find yourself having to behave in a way that does not really ring true to yourself deep down due to gender roles?
That's actually two questions but really the same idea. Lol. So thanks to any who answer.
Are any of you Twos male? I read it's the least common type for men.
Take this with a grain of salt because I previously identified as ENFP 7w6. I've been identifying as ESFJ 2w3 for a while now, but who knows what will happen next in life to make me question otherwise
My gender identity is kind of up in the air right now. I was designated male at birth, have identified as a gay man for a majority of my life, but now I'm kind of exploring my deep-seated resentment of being associated with masculinity and am trying to champion a more non-binary identity. I have a few close friends in my life who are trans women, and they are kind of opening me up to that as well.
RE: society and masculinity...I never enjoyed being associated with maleness. I admired my mother growing up more than anything. She was kind and caring, and she relatively accepted me no matter what (she let me play with Barbies lol). My dad, although I'm more understanding and empathetic with him now, was not emotionally nurturing and considered making money his sole purpose to provide for a family. So I think I took on more of my mom's qualities as a result. I loved being maternal - I got a Baby Born for Christmas, I took nice care of all my stuffed animals, I made sure everyone was dressed nicely. It gave me joy to make others feel good the way my mom made me feel.
I think you guys are correct to hone in on this issue, but I reacted exactly the opposite way of concealing my gentle and vulnerable nature - I just rejected what society wanted for me. I distanced myself from identifying with male figures on TV who were portrayed as strong, unwaveringly stoic, and emotionally inept and continued to model myself after the girls I saw who were courteous, sweet, and caring. I think as an e2, you can't escape your true nature (and FWIW, the men I've met who've tested as e2 do not try to overcompensate with a lot of bravado either - they just incorporate their dependability and protectiveness into their masculine image).
But I will say, probably part of what made me first start questioning if I was gay was unconsciously realizing I'm not like other guys. I was not recklessly insensitive, I didn't like to get into contests over who was more fearless and audacious. Whenever boys would challenge me to do anything, my first worry would be how it would make others feel (and in turn, how that would reflect back on the kind of person I am). I think e2s (and I guess 3s as well) get this reputation for image-manipulation and ego deceit. While I concede that it's definitely a very basic survival tactic in order to make sure you are supported and loved, I think it also takes a strong sense of personal values as well.
Sorry if I'm kind of just rambling nonsense. I guess the essence of what I'm saying is that my discomfort with masculinity is because I'm an e2, and I'm sure that's the case for many others as well. But it doesn't necessarily result in identity suppression - it can also turn into an overt rejection of masculinity and identification with traditional feminine roles, regardless of what gender the e2 person identifies with.