I think I see things kind of similarly, though not sure to what extent. I relate a lot to the first paragraph, not sure re 2nd.
I don't think I was ever someone who over apologized, but I think when younger and in friendships or relationships I'd do the thing where I sometimes essentially apologized for being Me; this was usually in the context of being anxious about how I was perceived, or apologizing for being a certain way, when really.... one needs to ask why the need to do that. Probably tied to insecurity or mismatched friendships, if you're falling into feeling who you are is something to apologize for. Which is something I am careful about assessing these days, and I don't think this happens much anymore. I'm pretty sure this is what you're emphasizing.
I will though apologize if I make mistakes, overlook something, realize I hurt or misunderstood someone (though it's tricky, as other people completely own their own perceptions and feelings and responses; but I will acknowledge and communicate my part in things), if I realize belatedly I was on the wrong track. Everyday sorts of things, things that genuinely require
Yes, it is
exactly what I'm emphasizing. I will not apologize for who I am, nor do I believe anyone else should. And this is where it gets very tricky. I'm going to attempt to articulate it, but honestly, articulating my more complex conceptions has never been a strength...and is one of the primary reasons I enjoy hanging on what used to be (perhaps still is) a predominantly N site. Anyhow, this roots back to evil versus awareness.
I've mentioned before that I don't believe in what is widely understood as 'evil'. I think the term is used when someone hits a wall in their ability to understand the manifest of extremely disconnected (painful) states of being. But I don't want to go too far down that rabbit-hole, as I've considered and discussed it ad-naus over the years, finding that usually people who hold that belief continue to, and regardless the number of gruesome/reprehensible stories they bring up, I can never accept it.
I view it as a lack of awareness. For if anyone could have a full awareness of the ripple, their mind would be absolutely blown. It would be too much to take in and handle, to function. Our filters are necessary in a physical reality. So the question is, how are we not ourselves? In each moment, we are in fact, ourselves.. or at least the 'self' we have come to know, in this life, with this continuum. When I've done ignorant, hurtful, selfish things.. I was myself, operating in that particular state of being, with that knowledge and awareness, those defense mechanisms, etc. People attempt to distance themselves from their perceived 'transgressions' by saying "Oh, I wasn't myself" and then they will often give all kinds of rationalizations. In doing so, they suppress their shadow, opportunities for better integration and self-acceptance, and as we know... those with the darkest shadows walk through this world with a pitch-fork, seeing evil around every bend and condemning their fellow-man. Part of me thinks what a terrible way to live, and then I remember that this is only a reflection of ones awareness.
So many people hell-bent on 'punishing' others, yet those punishments rarely, if ever
heal, unite, connect, increase-awareness, create optimal environments that allow room for introspection, safe places to explore shadows. And yes, some people do need to be removed from society. Their disconnect goes so deep, it may take a thousand life-times.
But people fail to see the greatest punisher of all - awareness.
Because when you look back on things you have done to others, even knowing you did so out of limited-awareness, the pain of that can almost be unbearable. To understand not only those specific moments in time, the impact of those words or actions, but how it shaped said person. How it may have caused them to turn inward, to doubt, to fear, to be angry or sad, and how they then went on to affect others in these states, and on. And then you'll have to take it to the next level, and work on forgiving yourself.
And sometimes people use punishment to form a boundary, draw a line in the sand. Which is understandable. And the 'offender' may comply, and not do that one particular thing again. But it's not going to show them the why, only a consequence. Their level of awareness will be the same, which will come out in various other ways. So when they get it, it's no longer a problem.. no need for apology. And until they get it, an apology is just a social nicety, or a power play.
Eh, it's too late for me to get into why I think we are all striving for similar states of being, at varying levels of awareness and different approaches, or what I think happens when we, as energy beings, split our energy from what we really want, and what we think we should want. SO I'll just leave it as this.