phthalocyanine
#005645
- Joined
- Jun 2, 2009
- Messages
- 679
- MBTI Type
- INFP
- Enneagram
- 9w1
- Instinctual Variant
- sx
short answer: yes.
I did it once as a teenager, to my later sorrow and I learned from it.
I KNOW for a fact that if a person I loved extra much told me he loved me romantically, I would say no even if I felt the same.
I've done it twice, and can't begin to explain it. Both times were with people I have felt almost a soul connection with-the only two people for whom the feeling lasted for any real length of time and stood the test of reality. The denials both happened in the same way.
Once, was a childhood best guy friend(ISFP?). He was the first person for whom I ever felt a "sacrificial" love. He confronted me years into our friendship, after already making it obvious that he liked me, and just simply said,"Do you like me?" I looked him dead in the face and said no, and in turn, he raged at me and told me to never talk to him again...until the next day when he acted as though everything was fine.
The other time I did this was as an adult with another close guy friend, but we had a mutually understood liking of each other. I had no issue with flirting with him, or hanging out with him with it being understood by most that we were into each other, but when I fell for him, it was in a way I had/have never experienced. Just knowing that he existed made the world "work" for me. I didn't need him to be mine, although I would've liked it, but I felt immensely blessed just to have had him in my life. Just watching him move, hearing him talk, and being in his circle likely added another 20 years onto my life. Nonetheless, we had at one point(intoxicated) a conversation about our feelings that he started...he dreamed about me all the time, couldn't stop thinking about me, had no clue what it was about me exactly(besides everything) but that something just "seemed insanely right" between us. I agreed. A month later, he asked me if I loved him....and....I....said....NO!
Is it just me??
I think you might be scerred, because love is scerry.I've done it twice, and can't begin to explain it. Both times were with people I have felt almost a soul connection with-the only two people for whom the feeling lasted for any real length of time and stood the test of reality. The denials both happened in the same way.
Once, was a childhood best guy friend(ISFP?). He was the first person for whom I ever felt a "sacrificial" love. He confronted me years into our friendship, after already making it obvious that he liked me, and just simply said,"Do you like me?" I looked him dead in the face and said no, and in turn, he raged at me and told me to never talk to him again...until the next day when he acted as though everything was fine.
The other time I did this was as an adult with another close guy friend, but we had a mutually understood liking of each other. I had no issue with flirting with him, or hanging out with him with it being understood by most that we were into each other, but when I fell for him, it was in a way I had/have never experienced. Just knowing that he existed made the world "work" for me. I didn't need him to be mine, although I would've liked it, but I felt immensely blessed just to have had him in my life. Just watching him move, hearing him talk, and being in his circle likely added another 20 years onto my life. Nonetheless, we had at one point(intoxicated) a conversation about our feelings that he started...he dreamed about me all the time, couldn't stop thinking about me, had no clue what it was about me exactly(besides everything) but that something just "seemed insanely right" between us. I agreed. A month later, he asked me if I loved him....and....I....said....NO!
Is it just me??
I'm led so much by Ne that even a glint of possible love can't be ignored. It's overpowering.
i never get whats wrong with people. always doing the exact opposite of whatever their gut tells them too.
like WTF...and then you come join online forums looking for company so you can be validated that you are not alone in your fuckedupness. rationalize it as you will, but reasoning and logic only explain it. they won't make anything better.
good luck living your life.
To whom are you speaking?
reason and logic would state that if it bothers you so much, find something else to do.