Im still stuggling with this. Definately either 3w4 sx or 4w3 sx. I have considered going to a certified enneagram institute to figure it out. I can't determine the core fear. Being worthless IS having no personal signifigance in my mind. I also seek self identity. I have responded to severe stress and depression like that of a 2 AND that of a 9 (depending on circumstance). My parental orientation was attached to mother figure prior to 10, but took on a marked sense of not seeing myself in either parent by 12. I have seen (self identified) 3's admit that they are not worka-holics and actually tend to the lazy side. I recognized in myself times where I must be doing something to feel okay, and times that I just want to sit and fantasize. I believe one account states that a core 3 MUST detach from emotions while working, but again, its not because they DONT feel, its because they believe that if they allow feelings to surface they will become too vulnerable to carry on with what needs to be done. I have felt this before. I have also had times in conflict with other people that I could barely pull myself together to work or called in. I do not identify with the detached-too difficult to understand-death fantasy 4. I seek to be understood and share my thoughts and feelings quite a bit. I am extroverted and image polished when I need to be, usually in any work or social function. I've heard 3's always bring topicsback to themselves, I've seen 4's do the same thing. I can listen to other people and their problems for some time w/o letting narcissism take hold (but i do have a streak of it). When with close friends and family I am capeable of being very dramatic, over emotional and demanding. I would NEVER reveal this during a work or social function, as I am not proud of myself in doing this but my emotions can take intense hold of me. I know how i feel in any given moment and hold strong opinions with politics, ethics, values.. but I struggle to understand how I feel deep down about people. This takes tremendous reflection and as soon as I think I've got it some new info enters the life picture and it changes. I admit that being seen as a loser is SLIGHTLY worse than being seen as a unoriginal. Also slightly embarassed to admit this, and it is close. Also don't identify with strong feelings of self-pity. Atleast nothing that i''d ever air. When i feel like I am not good enough this passionate thing wells up inside of me to change it. THe truth is I've had many awful things happen in my life, but I never want anyone to know about it. I loathe ever being seen as weak, incompetent, broken, or wallowing in self misery (even if inwardly i am a bit). So perhaps there is my answer? 3w4?
I tell you, the 3-4 blend is truly a complex subtype.. and I really do think that some people just need to bite the dust and go see a specialist in it.
^
Then again, I could just be projecting like a 6 on that last bit ;P