[SP] Ask an SP, get a practical answer

[wren]

why do plumbers expect to be paid 100 dollars an hour?

 

[Bamboo]

Plumbers in the local union start out at $17/hr and rise up every year from there. I almost joined the program, but I can make that without being in a union...(i'm not a plumber).

It's skilled labor, and who else can you get to do it?

100 is high. Is that exaggeration? Or is that the "called in the middle of the night my pipes exploded come over and help now" rate?

"3 am toilet explosion" is legitimately worth 100/hr, I think.



I've been doing handyman work in earnest for a few months now, and at first I didn't see the point in charging for going out to Home Depot and picking up supplies, or charging more than hourly rates. But the fact is, once you get into the groove of things, going out to Home Depot for 2 hours is worth a fee - it's a PITA. And if I put up a new mailbox, or put some concrete anchors in the wall and hang that rack, or wire that switch, and it only takes me an hour - that's worth more than 15-20 bucks.


But for $100/hr, he better be damn good and can do everything, and do it right.

 

[stellar renegade]

Yes, and it's annoying because it's hard to joke around with them sometimes..and they just have to punch you with their iron fist of practicality and you're kind of left on a cliff.

Ok, maybe it's just hard for me to joke around with them, because my sense of humor doesn't always involve burning or blowing up things..and they don't always catch my drift.

I think I'm a little better at keeping up with all kinds of various impractical topics than other SPs might be simply because I'm that kind of political "man of the people" BSing type of guy, but it still gets tiring and I find my brain feeling like it's turning to goo anyway. I live with an ENFP and boy, can he ramble. It's fine until I'm ready to go do something else and he's still talking about some random topic. He has the most insane tangents and it seems like he can never take a hint about when I'm done talking.

I can see how NF and SP are opposite temperaments. haha.

Anyway, I've never gotten the impression of an "iron fist" with ISFPs. Mostly just the nod and smile technique when I'm talking about something that they're not really interested in.

What is your best advice to someone who has absolutely no sense of logistics or technical capability whatsoever. And when I say technical, don't get me wrong; I'm talking about pretty much everything that could physically go wrong. It seems like everything I touch with the intent of fixing just ends up worse than if I had left it alone.

And the weird thing is, it isn't getting any better with time and experience..

Try to leave it up to others as much as possible, and mess with it whenever you have to. If I don't know how to do something, I usually know who to get to do it instead. But my biggest piece of advice would probably be to learn how to love physical objects to the point where you can coax it out of them. I could probably use that bit of advice myself honestly too, haha, but yeah, the most success I've ever had was when I felt one with the object, in a sense. If you're not successful at that, though (and you may not totally be, given your temperament and type) just, like I said, find someone else who can.

If I could do the BSing and story telling, I'd be golden.

That's where I trip up - but it seems so stilted to try and remember beforehand "hey, this would make a good story, I should tell people about it later." I tend to just start talking about the stuff right there. For better or worse.

Or I'd fail to approach. That's the real problem. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take, eh? I'm too reliant on what just randomly falls into my lap (figuratively...) and that is ok but not as good as it could be.

I've been kicking myself for fail to approach lately. Lots of cute girls on the metro, sitting right across from or near me, while I'm out with my BMX bike (ideal convo tool, cause it's something I love + admittedly flashy bright color). I usually keep myself occupied on the metro when I have my bike by just pulling out my multitool and start wrenching, checking to make sure everything is tight (it's better than staring into space).

Damn, I'm too shy. I mean I know, know that that one girl, (cute kinda hipster chick) moved from end of the car to mine and sat down right across from me and smiled, and I just smiled and looked away. Fish in barrel material.





I suppose I could turn this into a question about approaching people, but I really just need to stop being a giant...kitty cat...and start a conversation for once.

/rant

I used to experience that. Sometimes I'm reserved just because I don't feel like talking to someone, haha. Although I'm definitely an extrovert, sometimes I just don't like how catty people can be, or how much you really have to coax them out of being so reserved themselves. But sometimes all it takes is for someone to ask me a question or two and I'm off like a rocket talking about my life, leaving them speechless in the process. haha.

If a girl had sat right across from me and smiled at me, I'd be hitting myself about not having talked to her. Even if I weren't interested. Sometimes the flirtation itself is worth it. Don't be hard on yourself, though, just do it next time. All it takes is a few tries for you to really break the ice and start getting the feel of it.

Promoter advice for you - it's all BS, no matter what. Maybe view it as an experiment or some random activity that you're gonna drop as fast as you start, and you'll never see that person again. I pretty much view all my interactions with people as experiments to try something out and see if it works with them. I'll say random shit and see what their reaction is. If it doesn't work there's usually a way to backpedal and say it in a different way. It's like an art. It's a way of finding out what someone likes or doesn't like. But if you never experiment, you'll never learn. No one else can ever fully teach you what you need to know about interacting with others, you pretty much just have to learn on your own.

 

[lazydaisy]

this one's for isfps

how important is appearance to you for someone you are attracted to? i'm just curious because i've read that isfps have a strong aesthetic appreciation...

 

[stellar renegade]

this one's for isfps

how important is appearance to you for someone you are attracted to? i'm just curious because i've read that isfps have a strong aesthetic appreciation...

It means you better get someone, like your sister or girlfriend, to help you pick out outfits until you can get the hang of it, if you don't already know how to make it work. Maybe even buy some new ones, and walk with confidence and style.

I've been told a few times I walk like a model. Some girls like that.

 

[Owl]

So, I said hello to her, then I complimented her hair.

I think she blushed. I'm not sure, because I ran away/made a hasty retreat to my corner of the store.

I feel much better now. Thank you all.

 

[StephMC]

If I could do the BSing and story telling, I'd be golden.

Yeah, not my forte either. I don't usually hit on people though. But if I do, I usually just make sure the other person notices me looking at them and... ta-dah. Disclaimer: That is soley a female trick. I think it would be creepy if any of you boys tried it

But my advice to you, Owl, would be just to randomly ask her a question about a book or whatever. I can guarantee she knows there's some sort of avoidance thing going on between you (as you well know), but being casual may make her second guess that and may pleasantly surprise her. Maybe even make her feel relieved and a little silly she didn't stop the avoidance thing herself.

Damn, I'm too shy. I mean I know, know that that one girl, (cute kinda hipster chick) moved from end of the car to mine and sat down right across from me and smiled, and I just smiled and looked away. Fish in barrel material.



I suppose I could turn this into a question about approaching people, but I really just need to stop being a giant...kitty cat...and start a conversation for once.

/rant

I occasionally wonder what it would be like to interract with the opposite sex if I were a male ISTP. There are moments where I imagine I would totally take advantage of the effect I would have on women (Don't deny it... chicks love you guys!), and other moments where I suspect I would act... well... just like you described. Anyways, I'm gonna be honest. Half of me wants to tell you to suck it up and quit being a "giant kitty cat" *coughp*ssycough*, and the other half of me wants to hug you to bits and pieces cuz your just so gosh darn adorable sometimes. I'm gonna go with the latter, simply because imagining your look of disgust right now is incredibly amusing.

 

[StephMC]

So, I said hello to her, then I complimented her hair.

I think she blushed. I'm not sure, because I ran away/made a hasty retreat to my corner of the store.

I feel much better now. Thank you all.

Crap. I just read this. Don't mind me giving advice, I'm a little hungover. But anyways....

 

[countrygirl]

this one's for isfps

how important is appearance to you for someone you are attracted to? i'm just curious because i've read that isfps have a strong aesthetic appreciation...

Not very important for me. However basic/daily grooming is a must ie brushing teeth, using deorderant, etc.

My strong aesthetic appreciation is usually inregards to interoir decoration.

 

[wolfy]

this one's for isfps

how important is appearance to you for someone you are attracted to? i'm just curious because i've read that isfps have a strong aesthetic appreciation...

Important in the sense that I like what I like. Not that it is any use because what I like is just what I like.

 

[sketchymcsketcherson]

this one's for isfps

how important is appearance to you for someone you are attracted to? i'm just curious because i've read that isfps have a strong aesthetic appreciation...

Pretty important.

For me, you don't have to be outstanding or anything. But you do have to be somewhat attractive.

And character is important, too.

 

[ayoitsStepho]

this one's for isfps

how important is appearance to you for someone you are attracted to? i'm just curious because i've read that isfps have a strong aesthetic appreciation...

Well for myself, I like a guy who's easy on the eyes in the sense that he has a nice style and is groomed. By all means, don't out stage me in appearance
But I've found myself attracted to guys who don't dress in a way that I may [very outgoing clothing, bright, in your face].
Idk, I'm really just a hair kind of girl. If thats nice then I'm good to go
Personality goes a long way for myself though. You may be attractive but I don't ever jump someone just because they're 'attractive'.

 

[Walking Tourist]

Good looks aren't as important to me as other aesthetic considerations... um... smell... guys who smoke smell like cigarettes, even when they're not smoking... people who eat lots and lots of garlic...
I like men who look good, dress somewhat decently with clothes that fit, and do not smell bad.
But the thing that really attracts me is sound above sight. If the man has a beautiful singing or speaking voice... especially singing... that's it...

 

[countrygirl]

Good looks aren't as important to me as other aesthetic considerations... um... smell... guys who smoke smell like cigarettes, even when they're not smoking... people who eat lots and lots of garlic...
I like men who look good, dress somewhat decently with clothes that fit, and do not smell bad.
But the thing that really attracts me is sound above sight. If the man has a beautiful singing or speaking voice... especially singing... that's it...

I like a guy with a deep voice, especially over the phone. Talk to me baby!

 

[ayoitsStepho]

I like a guy with a deep voice, especially over the phone. Talk to me baby!

Oh yes, voice! A great voice will make my knee's weak.
...Now I'm starting to be a bit sad I'm single and don't have a guy with an awesome voice to speak sweet nothings in my ear.

 

[EJCC]

Dear Abby - aherm, I mean Dear SPs,

I know this isn't related to a practical issue, but it's related to an SP issue, so maybe you could give me a practical solution to this?

Okay, here it is: How can you tell that an SP likes you, i.e. thinks of you as a really, really good friend? I have a hard time reading you guys sometimes, especially ESFPs. I have an ESFP friend who considers me to be her best friend, and I had no idea until she told me, partially because she doesn't really open up to me, and partially because I'm just bad at reading people's emotional cues . Same with the ISFP I'm friends with (i.e. the opening-up thing, not the best-friend thing. THAT would be a weird coincidence). Are there cues or something?

- Emotion-reading Errorist ESTJ

 

[sketchymcsketcherson]

Dear Abby - aherm, I mean Dear SPs,

I know this isn't related to a practical issue, but it's related to an SP issue, so maybe you could give me a practical solution to this?

Okay, here it is: How can you tell that an SP likes you, i.e. thinks of you as a really, really good friend? I have a hard time reading you guys sometimes, especially ESFPs. I have an ESFP friend who considers me to be her best friend, and I had no idea until she told me, partially because she doesn't really open up to me, and partially because I'm just bad at reading people's emotional cues . Same with the ISFP I'm friends with (i.e. the opening-up thing, not the best-friend thing. THAT would be a weird coincidence). Are there cues or something?

- Emotion-reading Errorist ESTJ

Well, I myself am not very vocal about my affections. I'm not going to come out and say, "You're my best friend!" unless the situation calls for it (which is usually not too often). For those I truly care about, the signs of my affection are usually very small and specific. The way I talk to you, whether you are male or female, will be a bit more involved if I genuinely care about you. After all, if I like you as a friend, your interests and your stories will matter a lot to me. If you detect that I am interested in what you have to say, then answer my questions! Give me details about what happened; I want you to take me to the very scene you are describing in your story.

If I am very, very close to you and think of you as a best friend, I will usually put you above everyone else on the priority list. As an introvert, I usually have no problem being alone for two or three days. Sometimes I'll get calls from people I really like as friends, but I'm just not in the mood to hang out with their "type." It's nothing personal, I'd just rather not hang out with certain people at certain times (for example, a boisterous extrovert when I'd rather be playing video games). If you have an introvert friend who is willing to hang out with you on a daily basis and you have figured out that he or she puts you first, I guarantee there's some connection there.

If you are looking to connect with an ISFP and encourage him or her to "open up," try talking real and honest with the person. Bring up some topic of discussion that will interest the ISFP. Remember, introverted F is the primary function of such a person, so the chances are good that the person has a deep well of emotions buried inside.

As for SPs in general, remember that some of them get bored easily. If an SP person spends a lot of time with you no matter what is going on, you've got a friend.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

As for SPs in general, remember that some of them get bored easily. If an SP person spends a lot of time with you no matter what is going on, you've got a friend.

Dear Abby - aherm, I mean Dear SPs,

I know this isn't related to a practical issue, but it's related to an SP issue, so maybe you could give me a practical solution to this?

Okay, here it is: How can you tell that an SP likes you, i.e. thinks of you as a really, really good friend? I have a hard time reading you guys sometimes, especially ESFPs. I have an ESFP friend who considers me to be her best friend, and I had no idea until she told me, partially because she doesn't really open up to me, and partially because I'm just bad at reading people's emotional cues . Same with the ISFP I'm friends with (i.e. the opening-up thing, not the best-friend thing. THAT would be a weird coincidence). Are there cues or something?

- Emotion-reading Errorist ESTJ

It definitely depends upon the SP and the above quote is pretty accurate. I have an ESFP best friend. I was surprised when she told me the same thing. I don't take it too seriously. ESFP is all over the place socially. I took it to mean that ESFP feels comfortable confiding in me about things she doesn't talk to others about. That's pretty cool though.

 

[Jeffster]

Okay, here it is: How can you tell that an SP likes you, i.e. thinks of you as a really, really good friend? I have a hard time reading you guys sometimes, especially ESFPs.

That's weird to me, because I feel like we're the most straightforward types. But if you don't know, then just ask. At least that works with me. I never have a problem answering questions about anything.

 

[sketchymcsketcherson]

That's weird to me, because I feel like we're the most straightforward types. But if you don't know, then just ask. At least that works with me. I never have a problem answering questions about anything.

We are quite straightforward. But I, personally (at least as an introvert) don't usually talk about my affection, I act on it.