The Last Person Alive

[proteanmix]

What would you do if you were the last person on Earth? How would you react?

 

[Wandering]

I'd die.

 

[Totenkindly]

The last person left has to turn off the lights.

 

[Kiddo]

I'm human so I would try to survive. I'd probably find a lot of pets so that I would at least have someone to talk to. At first I probably would break a lot of old laws and do crazy things like drive a tank through a mall or set off explosives near a gas station. Perhaps eventually I would try to invent a way to create more humans from my own genetic material or I would try to build artificially intelligent beings.

 

[cafe]

I'd go mad, I'm pretty sure.

 

[Wandering]

I'm human so I would try to survive.

Funny you should say that, because being human is precisely the reason I'd die I couldn't live with the knowledge that there isn't anyone, anywhere, I could EVER talk to.

Or, IOW: what does it mean to be human, if you are the only human left?

I'd probably find a lot of pets so that I would at least have someone to talk to.

Yeah... I think I'd go farther than that, and try and get accepted into a wolf pack or something

At first I probably would break a lot of old laws and do crazy things like drive a tank through a mall or set off explosives near a gas station.

But what would be the POINT of doing it, if there's nobody to watch you do it, and nobody to tell the story to later??

Perhaps eventually I would try to invent a way to create more humans from my own genetic material or I would try to build artificially intelligent beings.

I thought of that too, but I just don't have the smarts to ever achieve that

 

[wildcat]

What would you do if you were the last person on Earth? How would you react?

The first thing you need is an axe. To chop wood and to break in to the retail store to steal a bicycle and a shovel. You need to find a cabin that still has a functioning oven. You need to be a diviner to find a well. It is better to start learning now. Forget Thoreau and Rousseau and Emerson and Emily Dickinson.
They were not practical people. Study Donald Duck. Well, not him.. he is hopeless. I mean the pragmatic nephews of course.

 

[LucrativeSid]

I would passionately study science so that I could create a human-chimp half breed from preserved human DNA. And stuff like that. Lots of fun! I'd probably live in a mall and drive a Hummer. And I'd do lots of things that are not appropriate to mention here.

 

[Kiddo]

Funny you should say that, because being human is precisely the reason I'd die I couldn't live with the knowledge that there isn't anyone, anywhere, I could EVER talk to.

Or, IOW: what does it mean to be human, if you are the only human left?

Oh come now. It wouldn't be that much different than ending up stranded on a deserted island. You could even find a volleyball and name it Wilson if you wanted.

 

[sassafrassquatch]

That would depend entirely on the circumstances of humanity’s demise. If it’s a zombie outbreak then I may be held up in a bunker full of canned food, ammunition and the finest pornography. If it’s a plague of which I am the only one immune then I may be lodged in a bowling alley full of chinese food, video games and the finest pornography.

 

[Jive A Turkey]

I'd start nailing all of the beautiful dead women.

 

[Valiant]

I'd definitely try to make new humans in various ways. Since all laboratories in the world would be open and vacant to me, I'd probably be able if i'm singleminded about it, and break every possible ethic law there is... Then if it turns out to be a half human-half chimp breed, what the heck... As long as there is some kind of near-intelligent life that can carry on after I was gone.
It'd be so depressing.

My passion in life is chicks, alcohol and adventuring, and if there are no chicks to drink with and brag about your adventures so that you'd eventually end up in bed, i'd definitely want to die. But neither would I bed a half-chimp.... o.o CRAP.

Conclusion: I'd die. Probably after drinking some english lords' finest malt whiskey, sailing around in a "stolen" old sailing ship fishing for food, only reaching land to fill up my hold with some source of carbohydrates and other stuff you can't get out at sea.

But I think that scenario would bring out the romantic in me and i'd go all INFP-EMO. I mean, if it's down to that... What the fuck is life worth if you don't have someone to share it with? ZIP-NADA-VAKUUM. I'd not give a rat's ass about anything.

I just want to be loved!!!


:hi:

 

[Valiant]

I'd start nailing all of the beautiful dead women.

EWWW!!!!!!!
You're even nastier than me!

 

[Athenian200]

What would you do if you were the last person on Earth? How would you react?

I would be very sad. I would probably try to spend some time trying to read the books I never got around to reading, and eat as much as I needed to in order to finish them. I might also play around with computer and power systems to see all the different functions, possibly trying to drive all over the place to keep the Internet up so I wouldn't lose access, learning a lot about the infrastructure as I went, maybe even improving/perfecting it as I went. I would probably go through old homes and offices, and try to learn about the people who once lived/worked there, trying to piece their lives and histories together.

I would be very lonely... but I'd have things to keep me occupied for a while at least.

 

[Nocapszy]

I'd probably go home. That's where everyone's hiding. It's just a surprise party anyway. It always is. Every time everyone disappears it always turns out to be a surprise party.

In fact, I'm going to trademark that right now. It's officially called "Nocapszy's law"

Whenever human presence reaches 0, they're at your house, with a cake and a bottle of champagne.

Somebody call Mitch Hedberg... I think I just stole one of his jokes and made it too long.

 

[Totenkindly]

Actually, I just don't know what I would do. If anything, I'm a survivor. I've been alone before.

But it really would be a kick in the teeth to realize that all of my thoughts and ideas and discovers and explorations could never be shared with anyone, nor could I learn from or connect with anyone else.

I would either have to find another reason to live, or I would have to choose where and when to end things for myself. But I doubt I would commit suicide, because hope springs eternal and you just never know what might have happened if you'd stuck around just another day.

 

[Kiddo]

But I doubt I would commit suicide, because hope springs eternal and you just never know what might have happened if you'd stuck around just another day.

Exactly. Wouldn't it be a bitch if after the day you kill yourself, super intelligent extraterrestrials land on Earth?

 

[Grayscale]

I would have a short ceremony-

...and then I would make the world my playground.

 

[niffer]

I would cry.

And then I would find a canoe and load supplies onto it along with some keepsakes for memories, and row far far away...and I would land and find a doggie friend or two.

We would have adventures.

Then I would go back to my home before I died, and die there quietly, hopefully.

 

[God Of Emptiness]

There would be a lot of dead bodies to violate, so i'd be busy for a few years.