[INTP] INTP through the years

[sofmarhof]

Those of you who are 30+, describe how you have changed or matured over the years.

What were you like as a teen? What were you like in your 20s? 30s? etc.

I'm 19, so too young to contribute, but I would really like to read what you have to say.

 

[Cypocalypse]

I don't know how much bearing my advice can give you...but coming from a 28 year old INTP shifting to E.

1. I used to be forced ISTJ when I was in my teen. It sucks. Ne is always interfering with my desire to focus. True STJ peeps beat me in school performance. Don't play the SJ complaince game. You'll lose in the long run. Learn to use your eccentric traits to your advantage.

2. Embrace your INTPness, but never assert your Ti socially, or at work (unless needed). It can bring you into trouble. Remember, what seems to be so logical to you may not be easily understood by other archetypes, nor they would want to listen to your statement, especially if you're not so politically correct in your delivery.

3. Develop your extroversion. INTPs who are imploding in their introversion usually cling to only one aspect of their character, which is their intellect. Developing E add facets to your primary traits, also develops better interpersonal relationships. You'll have more things going for you.

4. Don't expect a lot of people to understand you. Most people won't. You have to understand yourself (develop some Fi). MBTI is a great tool for that. But don't be too hardcore about it.

 

[jenocyde]

I know a bunch of INTPs and they were all extremely socially awkward, often escaping into fantasy worlds, role play or drugs. They all slowly woke up around the age of 30 and made a conscious decision to stay the way they were or crawl out of their own heads. Some stayed, but at least it was a conscious decision.

This only applies to the boys, though. The girls can often grow to be quite cantankerous and/or bitter and confrontational if they started on the meeker side. In their late 30s, however, I've noticed the females mellow out and become quite diplomatic, kind and truly logical (as opposed to fake logic which rejects information it doesn't respect - like people's feelings, perhaps - no matter how valid). So they grow into more truly logical and objective human beings.

But again, this is just from my personal sample of friends and family.

 

[Orangey]

This only applies to the boys, though. The girls can often grow to be quite cantankerous and/or bitter and confrontational if they started on the meeker side.

I hope this isn't in my future. If I'm 24 and not that way (still a bit meek) then does that mean I've already passed the bitch turn?

 

[Xander]

Early teens I was nervous and not exactly comfy around people. I always asked why but lacked sufficient skill to do anything more than recreate the wheel or come up with something so complex as to make it unfeasible. Except with gokart ideas... except if you ask my father...

Late teens but pre university I'd found more of what would become my stride. Innovation seemed easier but the world seemed stranger. I found I could pull apart even complex subjects and find the mechanics of it often identifying problems that others had overlooked but equally as often grinding my brain against problems that didn't really matter. Also I found myself becoming more and more a force within my group of friends.

I think within the first year of university I found myself buried with people, new people, very, very different people. I found that I still rejected company but after finding my place and a circle of friends I had less problems. It seems to be a constant plague that if I'm amongst people who are likely to accept me then I'm fine but amongst people who are less than likely to get me I recede and usually get all spikey. Anyhow, whilst at uni many things happened some good some bad but it helped me to settle down. I found things that I will never do again and things I decided to keep as part of me.

Twenties, got a job working for a bunch of ESTJ engineers and whilst I could quite happily gun most of them down with a chirpy smile and a tune on my lips they have knocked some of that "precious" treatment which I afforded myself as an introvert. I'm now not so bothered by work, people, negativity. In fact if someone is annoyed then I'm usually the one laughing at their frustration... apparently that's not helpful either.

Privately I found myself the centre of my group of friends. The decision maker and the peace keeper. Not something I actively signed up for. I ended up enabling a few of them and one friend put it as I had a lot of friends who are completely fine with taking advantage of my generous nature.

Thirties, just about settling now. I find I'm more confident in what I can and cannot do and I'm fine with my failings. I'm also happier with the word "no". This has led to me being taken advantage of less but also (and especially recently) it has reduce my patience with people. I'll no longer flex until I can kiss my own behind... I'll just tell them to do it and walk off.

Don't get me wrong throughout all of this I'm a positive feedback type 9 so I don't like constant war but the older I get the more familiar I am with using my shadow type to draw a line and execute any ********* who crosses it. I think I wouldn't be over stating to say that I'm now fair but firm where as before I was just fair. I think that's confidence related though.

Oh and the thing I read that Hustler wrote many moons ago "don't play by their rules". It took ages for me to find a place for that sentiment as I didn't agree with his meaning but I knew it fitted somewhere. What I found was that the more I am myself with no apologies the easier I find things and the more easily I can grow. That's not to say "screw you I'm an NT", that's just arrogant ignorance, but I do find myself doing things more my way now and I'm a lot more comfortable that way.

 

[Fluffywolf]

I've defied nature and made the 'INTP descision' when I was 21.

In terms of maturing. I don't think INTP's mature ever in the same sense most other types would. I think we just come to terms with our and others wisdom in due time. Stabilizing our existance through knowledge and understanding, with a little bit of experience on the side.

Most other types seem to come to terms with their emotions as they mature. We come to terms with our thoughts. Our emotions remain somewhat 'childish' throughout our lives.

 

[Grungemouse]

The girls can often grow to be quite cantankerous and/or bitter and confrontational if they started on the meeker side.

Oh, wonderful. I'm 18 and especially meek. I look forward to my twenties "crazy cat lady" phase.

 

[Fluffywolf]

Oh, wonderful. I'm 18 and especially meek. I look forward to my twenties "crazy cat lady" phase.

Knowing is the first step towards avoiding.

People usually screw up with recognizing their own behaviour though, so the battle isn't won yet.

 

[ajblaise]

I know a bunch of INTPs and they were all extremely socially awkward, often escaping into fantasy worlds, role play or drugs. They all slowly woke up around the age of 30 and made a conscious decision to stay the way they were or crawl out of their own heads.

I can corroborate the drugs thing. Same with other INTPs I know. And my INTP dad was a pothead, then around 30 stopped and became a professor.

 

[jenocyde]

I hope this isn't in my future. If I'm 24 and not that way (still a bit meek) then does that mean I've already passed the bitch turn?

Hahaha, I'm sure you'll be fine. Although I do remember a conversation we had that was unnecessarily caustic... but it's all water under the bridge. I think this level of awareness now will benefit you (and everyone else) in the future. I wish I had this knowledge and level of insight when I was in my 20s.

Oh, wonderful. I'm 18 and especially meek. I look forward to my twenties "crazy cat lady" phase.

Oh damn, I forgot about the cats. What is with you guys and cats? Male and female, alike!

I can corroborate the drugs thing. Same with other INTPs I know. And my INTP dad was a pothead, then around 30 stopped and became a professor.

Yeah, I had a brilliant INTP cousin turn into a raging, *raging* coke-and-other-crap-head. He braved the NYC streets clean and sober until he was about 25 or so. Kind of late in the game to get into the party mentality, you know? He got clean around 32.

 

[sofmarhof]

Thanks, everybody.

 

[avolkiteshvara]

When I was younger, I was afraid to admit defeat or fault out of a sense of ego.
Now, I try to embrace all my failures.


I wish I could've asked this question to other INTP when I was 19. Things would've been much easier.

 

[Ulaes]

The girls can often grow to be quite cantankerous and/or bitter and confrontational if they started on the meeker side.

here i come!... although im not sure how meek i am/was..

Oh, wonderful. I'm 18 and especially meek. I look forward to my twenties "crazy cat lady" phase.

what's wrong with the crazy cat lady?

[YOUTUBE=GkMvKeX7erI] Crazy Cat Lady [/YOUTUBE]

isn't she great

I've defied nature and made the 'INTP descision' when I was 21.

teach me thy ways, i still have a year to learn.

 

[Fluffywolf]

teach me thy ways, i still have a year to learn.

I wouldn't recommend going through the same I did. Though the result is undeniable, it does have side effects.

 

[Grungemouse]

here i come!... although im not sure how meek i am/was..



what's wrong with the crazy cat lady?

[YOUTUBE=GkMvKeX7erI] Crazy Cat Lady [/YOUTUBE]

isn't she great



teach me thy ways, i still have a year to learn.

Yeah. I think I'm going to alter my "kill myself at 50" plan a little.

 

[astroninja]

I'm an INTP, 28 (just turned it today! Happy Birthday to me.) and have gone through various phases in my life. I hope you'll be able to relate to some of my experiences and that it'll help you somehow.

1) Awkward teens. Tried very, very hard to fit in with the popular social groups but just couldn't. I never understood why; just thought I was the weird kid, which in many ways, was entirely true. Don't ever try too hard to conform to the whims of your SF peers. It willl never feel natural.

2) In my early 20s, I became a popular musician in my country. My band played headlining concerts, sold concert tickets by the thousands, had many fans, was played frequently on national radio, had #1 hits. I was in a position that many musicians in my country envied and wanted. But strangely, the more popular we got, the more unhappy I became. It didn't feel natural to me; the live performances were a blast of course, but I struggled to portray myself as an E, rather than an I, and pretended to be an F rather than a T. It was a public personna, and it wore thin on me after a while.

As an INTP, I did not deal well with the media attention, did not stick to the 'rules of engagement' with the journalists. Was always kicking up controversy with my public commentaries.

And after a while, my natural INTP self took over again and I retreated inwards. I left the band (and the media hoopla) and pursued my own artistic interests.


3) I'm starting to find myself again, and it is a journey I sometimes struggle with. But all in all, the one thing I learnt is this: If you are an INTP, it is very hard for you to truly fit in with the common segmentations of society. You will tend to be picky with your friends, but the major plus side is that the friends you keep will truly mean the world to you - many of which will play important roles in your life. You will not be understood by most, particularly SF types, but those who do will truly appreciate you for the person you are. Embrace your affinity to eccentricity, discover your strengths, and you will find happiness.

One thing I also noticed about INTPs is this: We do not settle for fickle definitions of happiness – we do not subscribe to usual social pretensions. We usually seek out our own highly individualistic ideologies of contentment. This can be a very tiresome and tedious journey of self-discovery, but it can also lead to a very genuine understanding of yourself and the people you hold dear to you. It is usually always worth the while in the end.

And most of all, don't ever apologize for being an INTP. It is not your fault that you're smarter than most. Adaptability is the key, but compromise is not! Leave the bottom-feeder types where they are; stay clear from ESFPs because they will annoy the lollipop out of you. You will find many conrads along the way, so no worries. Never ever lose that clear imagination in your head though; keep the fantasy worlds alive and bruisin'!

Hope that helps.

 

[Ethereal]

There are times when I wonder about the quantitative accuracy of MBTI. I have seen all kinds of numbers for the INTP distribution percent with the population from 2.5% to 3% to 5% and even 1% once.

I first took the test as part of a university career services function. About 20 or so attended this function. A week later I meet one of the other guys who took the test. When I asked him what he registered as, he had forgotten because he had not taken note of it.

An INTP would remember his/her type, and would look it up. So naturally, when quantitative statistics come out, a higher percentage of the INTP's would register. So, if we always have problems finding friends, could this be because we are actually a smaller portion of the population then studies lead us to believe?

 

[astroninja]

There are times when I wonder about the quantitative accuracy of MBTI. I have seen all kinds of numbers for the INTP distribution percent with the population from 2.5% to 3% to 5% and even 1% once.

I first took the test as part of a university career services function. About 20 or so attended this function. A week later I meet one of the other guys who took the test. When I asked him what he registered as, he had forgotten because he had not taken note of it.

An INTP would remember his/her type, and would look it up. So naturally, when quantitative statistics come out, a higher percentage of the INTP's would register. So, if we always have problems finding friends, could this be because we are actually a smaller portion of the population then studies lead us to believe?

Very likely. I notice also that INTPs naturally tend to graviate towards other INTP types, even when we don't realize that they're actually similar types. Three of my ex girlfriends turned out to be INTPs, though I didn't realize it at that time. But I think INTPs usually get along fine with other NT types; it would be sad for us if this was NOT the case

 

[tinkerbell]

There are times when I wonder about the quantitative accuracy of MBTI. I have seen all kinds of numbers for the INTP distribution percent with the population from 2.5% to 3% to 5% and even 1% once.

Weirdly all of these numbers could be correct depending on which population you are looking at, global (which usualy means skewed toward the US, or UK, or other company, within certain industries it will be different again. The key is that INTP is a small proportion of the population somewhere between 1-6%....don't think I've ever seen anything that reported it higher...

Not to matter, Google cites that MBTI is not mathematically proven.