JivinJeffJones
New member
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2007
- Messages
- 3,702
- MBTI Type
- INFP
Just lie a lot. That really does the trick for me.
It's hard to imagine what that isn't the ENTP solution for.
Just lie a lot. That really does the trick for me.
It's hard to imagine what that isn't the ENTP solution for.
It's natural for people to want fix whatever is bothering them. This usually just frustrates the INFP because they've spent so much time thinking about all the possibilities, and whatever fix is being suggested has already been considered or tried.
This bothers me a bit. I've been mulling it around in my head. What's the point of discussing something if you are just going to rely on what is in your head?
That makes sense but I've run into the "this is how it is I can't fix it or make it better" mentality.
Let's go with the "I can't get a job." Seriously, it's impossible? I'm supposed to believe someone telling me they've exhausted every possibility on the planet? That they *won't* change their situation or try something else because it just doesn't *seem* right to volunteer or work a menial job. "It won't work" seems to be a mantra.
Sometimes I feel like it's placating. "yes, yes, you can't get a job, thats terrible, awful, the world really did it for you this time" I don't want to be the friend agreeing while thinking, geez, this person is just wallowing. I think that's one reason it concerns me. When you are listening to other's problems are you placating them, too?
I'm not trying to dog anyone, this is actually a question for me that I would like to understand. Your response has helped somewhat. I had a (non-infp) friend and I used to ask their opinion. They would give me it but oftentimes I would do the opposite. It drove them INSANE. I just wanted their opinion, not for them to make the choice. They couldn't understand that I just wanted more data, so I had to eventually stop asking them for their opinion because it became a big argument.
Primarily to vent so as to cleanse your head & move on and to get much-needed emotional support. Showing confidence in an INFP helps them to forge ahead, because sometimes that's all that's really holding them back much of the time. They know what they need to do, but they need to feel they CAN do it themselves.
We also like to discuss to clarify our own thoughts (external questions help you sort things out), to get help in choosing between several conclusions we've come to, to get confirmation of a solution, or perhaps help to see why something is not a good solution.
As Saxman pointed out, when you've heard the whole story and gotten all the clarification from the INFP to fully understand where their head is at, you'll likely see that the quick-fix solution has already been considered. It doesn't mean you cannot provide additional insight, but people are often too quick to chime in with the obvious and that's just condescending. We NEED the well thought-out insight to fill in the little gaps we've missed. It's the subtleties we're grasping for, because we see the big picture easily.
For me, when I want advice, I usually ask for it directly, so it's easy for people to know if I am venting or want a solution.