[ENFJ] Frustrated ENFJ

[Domino]

There *is* no upshot. There really really isn't.

You will always be too intense. Too isolated. Too "much". Too solitary. You're none of the ESFJ good things, you're none of the INFJ good things.

Enjoy your shock collar.

 

[Skyward]

'To be great is to be misunderstood.'
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

[Domino]

"Not to know the relative disposition of things is the state of slaves and children." - John Henry, Cardinal Newman


Surely we can't be so surrounded by slaves and children?

 

[Skyward]

Most people of a misanthropic or sociopathic bent believe so, yes.

EDIT:

Heck, this premise could add to why people don't like the ENFJs gung-ho train-rush of intensity. They would rather lead a safe, unstimulated, unchanged life than get moved around and reorganized by an ENFJ.

Issues of 'what can I believe of the ENFJ if they're nice even to people they'll complain loudly about behind their backs?' also crop up with people. I think ENFJs as people are great, it's the society their Fe has to work with that's kind of mucky.

 

[Domino]

Do you feel that way yourself? being so closely related to us?

 

[runvardh]

My ENFJ experience, romantic side, was one that got broken pretty bad by it's previous user and the shop fucked up on the repairs. Not really a fair experience for me to judge them by.

 

[Domino]

Yes. It's hard to find a decent "garage".

 

[Lauren Ashley]

You're none of the ESFJ good things...

Like what?

ENFJs are awesome.

 

[BlackCat]

My ENFJ experience, romantic side, was one that got broken pretty bad by it's previous user and the shop fucked up on the repairs. Not really a fair experience for me to judge them by.

Yeah, I've had some awful experiences with ENFJs as well. I've come to the conclusion that I don't understand them at all and they don't really understand me.

I have met some pretty cool ENFJs, they have been mostly male though. I prefer to reserve my negative judgments for people until they get negative, so I'm not going to totally bash the type. I think the ENFJs I've met have been cool for friendship. We see things in a pretty different light, we both tackle the same issues in our heads from a very different angle.

You seem to be pretty well rounded and friendly Pink, from what I've seen of you. You don't seem like the "insane" breed of EXFJ that everyone bashes from what I see.

 

[Domino]

Well. It just seems to me that I'm constantly getting told that I'm too much even when I'm behaving myself. ESFJs are grounded and fun. INFJs are mysterious and sparkly.

I fall in a bad place between them. The hard parts.

 

[A Schnitzel]

You're none of the ESFJ good things

LOL WUT!

 

[Lauren Ashley]

ESFJ and ENFJ get the same/similar complaints.

If that's any consolation

 

[Domino]

LOL WUT!

Schnitzel! You're an ENFJ! Who did this horrible thing to you!?

 

[A Schnitzel]

Schnitzel! You're an ENFJ! Who did this horrible thing to you!?

It's not so bad. Suddenly I care about stuff and everyone is so much nicer now.

I feel a compulsive need to organize my life. Does it go away?

 

[Lauren Ashley]

Do you ever think that you're focusing too much on the praise that others get and not enough on the compliments you get?

 

[A Schnitzel]

Do you ever think that you're focusing too much on the praise that others get and not enough on the compliments you get?

Well that's a funny thing to say. Does not noticing any compliments one receives and focussing on negative feedback hurt ones self image?

I'm sorry. Did I just answer your question with another question?

 

[Lauren Ashley]

Well that's a funny thing to say. Does not noticing any compliments one receives and focussing on negative feedback hurt ones self image?

IME, especially with Fe users, yes. Very much so.

 

[runvardh]

Yes. It's hard to find a decent "garage".

Some of us have tools and would work on that, but once she's shining and new again she takes off.

Yeah, I've had some awful experiences with ENFJs as well. I've come to the conclusion that I don't understand them at all and they don't really understand me.

I have met some pretty cool ENFJs, they have been mostly male though. I prefer to reserve my negative judgments for people until they get negative, so I'm not going to totally bash the type. I think the ENFJs I've met have been cool for friendship. We see things in a pretty different light, we both tackle the same issues in our heads from a very different angle.

That's funny, It's the one ENFJ family member I know of who gets me the most often - other than my father, anyway.

Well. It just seems to me that I'm constantly getting told that I'm too much even when I'm behaving myself. ESFJs are grounded and fun. INFJs are mysterious and sparkly.

I fall in a bad place between them. The hard parts.

ESFJs, grounded and fun - maybe if they're first born and have learned how to relax like my grandmother has. I can't count how many times my aunt got her panties in a twist over such little things. She gives my dad attitude instead of asking me or my brothers if we could help her out with stuff. Probably doesn't help that she's the baby; it seems to give her that whine in her voice that you always hear as she never shuts up. Oh well, she manages to keep my uncle in line, I guess...

ENFJ great aunt on the other hand mostly complains about herself and how messy her place is. Has the baby girl whine as well, but it doesn't feel like it's directed at you as much. Her social gatherings don't end up as much of a hen house and she does a damn good job at organizing events. Her age has definitely made her less intense, but she's still always on the go. I can also explain things to her with out the "you're such a silly boy" type pat on the head attitude that I get from my grandmother and my aunt (that is if my aunt even listens).

 

[Scott N Denver]

ENFJ's are awesome! Life's natural diplomats, naturally warm and caring, seeing potential in others, giving off vibes that whoever your interacting with at the moment is some incredibly interesting person.

And what is this about being alone? In my limited experience with ENFJ's, they are frequently around others and organizing groups. If you wanna talk about being alone, I humbly submit that INFP's spend WAY more time alone.
ENFJ: Do you wanna go out somewhere, I heard about this really great new Italian restaurant downtown, should we try it out.
INFP: nah, I don't really wanna go out. I feel like staying home and reading this big book and pondering my feelings and values. Yes yes, now what is the meaning of my life???? And how could I be a better person???

 

[Scott N Denver]

Forgive me for asking, but who doesn't like ENFJ's??? Well, other than NT's who think that all people are stupid, socializing is a waste of time, and that one has to be "intellectually stimulating" enough to talk to. And some of the STP's who don't like being treaded upon by social conventions. That first one almost no one can really interact with, and the second is a 3 or 4 function opposite of ENFJ's, so not much overlap can really be expected.