Hi, I'm a loser. Please type me!

[BlackStarla]

0. What's making you unsure of your type? What research have you already done to determine type?

I usually test as INFP but I've spoken to friends and they all have a different opinion on which type I am (I often get ISFP, ENFP or INTP).

1. Establish a "baseline mood"--when you're at home with nothing to do, where are you at mentally and emotionally? What do you notice in yourself? (Note, this is not a mood you inhabit "frequently", but your psychological baseline).

I struggle with free-time when I'm left alone to be honest. I often find myself procrastinating, waiting for some external force to motivate me into action. If that doesn't happen then I'll retreat into my imagination and fantasize that I'm a character from another world. I tend to get stuck in my head and begin overthinking/overanalyzing both the inner workings of myself and my loved ones. That's what got me into MBTI and that's why I was so into astrology as a teen. I just loved dissecting people's behaviours and putting them into categories. I loved giving everyone a label as it made it easier for me to feel a sense of control around them. I tend to feel at my best if I can get out of my head for a while and go and take a walk in nature and explore secret pathways.

2. Describe yourself--
a. What's it like to be you?

Without sounding too self-pitying, its pretty tough to be me. I feel rather aimless and isolated a lot of the time, but I'm desperate to connect when people in a deep way. I'm not very in touch with my emotions and find it hard to express myself but I'm also deeply sensitive and reserved. I tend to go through life as if I'm an actor, playing a part in order to impress people or portray myself in a certain light. I have this constant fear of being exposed and people finding out the "real me" (Major case of Imposter syndrome I guess). I can be incredibly indecisive because I always want to make sure I’m making an informed decision. I will look at a hundred different sources and opinions and I’ll especially focus on the negative opinions because I want to know all sides to an issue so I’m as prepared as can be. I don’t really trust my gut enough.

On the positive side, I feel like I've experienced some truly deep and profound moments in my time that not many other people get to experience. Being incredibly introspective allows you to have great insight into yourself and I often use that to push myself to do extraordinary things because I envision a particular image of myself and then make it happen.

b. What have others said about you?

My closest friends would say I'm very creative and aesthetic, childlike and "cute". They'd also say I was super down-to-earth and "chill". People find me very thoughtful, perceptive and considerate but insanely stoic and low-key. I rarely make a scene or draw attention to myself, yet for some reason people find me really interesting.

c. What do you think of yourself?


I think I have a lot of potential but I don't always know how to commit and schedule myself well. I think I'm exceptionally well-rounded and "average" with a hidden desire to be extraordinary. I have a good grip on reality and logic. I can cling to the past a little too often but sometimes that's a good thing because it makes me very informed and nostalgic, and I also have a very strong memory of my past experiences so I can usually try and stay true to myself that way.

3. What are the issues you've dealt with in life? List some recurrent themes, and tell us a little about each one.

I've struggled with my career in general - mainly because I don't enjoy being a part of the corporate world. I have tried to work in offices, attending team meetings, play the part etc...but it just feels so draining to me. I really don't care about businesses and performance and all that jazz. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life, only that I want to work independently and feel like I'm contributing to something I'm passionate about.

I've also struggled with relationships. I spent a lot of my 20s attaching myself to forbidden or toxic people because it was safer and more exciting to fantasize over them than to create a real relationship with someone. I'm now in a stable, long-term relationship and I struggle to stay present but I'm working on it.

4. You're not good at everything--
a. What personality traits and/or ways of being are impossible for you to adopt?

I'll never be bubbly and peppy, sadly. Those people who just pour emotion from their souls with every interaction and get all touch-feely...I can't do that. I envy that. I just feel so fake when I attempt to express sympathy in that way. I'm good at empathy, but not sympathy.

b. What are qualities you'd like to have, but can't seem to develop?

I'd like to develop a more feisty and gutsy persona. I have such a tomboy look about me, yet I don't have that ballsy attitude to go with it. I've always secretly wanted to be "one of the guys", a skater girl, a dudette. I actually have been fooling some acquaintances into thinking I'm that way inclined, until they get to know me and realise I collect dreamcatchers and cry over puppies on YouTube.

5. Why have you left friends and other relationships in the past and/or why have they left you?


I recently cut out a long-term friend because she crossed a line. She "exposed" me to a bunch of my friends by revealing personal, private messages so I blocked her from my life because I was incredibly hurt and ashamed. She was also really judgey and arrogant and bigoted so I was already trying to distance myself from her.

A friend cut me out of her life because I was too co-dependant (this was quite a while ago) and I'd never communicate my feelings well so I just came across as really moody and jealous all the time ( I sound great ).


6. Which Enneagram types do you identify with most?

I relate most to 4 and 9. 4 because I'm obsessed with my identity, fantasy and self-expression, and 9 because I minimize my feelings to accomodate others and seek peace everywhere I go.

7. Which Enneagram types are least like you?

Well I'm definitely not 8 because I'm not a confrontational person.

8. What are your attitudes toward finding love?


I tend to fall in love with close friends or people who I've shared an emotional experience with. I don't do the whole dating thing and it takes me ages to feel comfortable with someone.

9. What is the message your superego tells you?

Consider a time when you felt poorly about yourself--this means your ego.

I tend to feel most poorly about myself if someone has expressed their dislike over something I've put effort into (e.g. I've created a piece of art and someone has laughed at it or I've prepared all day to act confident for an interview and got rejected because of my social-anxiety). I can cry for a whole day and repeat "I hate everything, I hate myself, I hate that person" over and over again. I turn to friends and family in this case because I need to hear that I'm a worthy person. If I can't get that feedback from someone else, I will be determined to turn my whole life around and prove everyone wrong. I will "start afresh" and want to rid myself of anyone who was there to witness to my failure.

10. Determine your ego ideal--the way you strive to be and want others to perceive you. (Note, you may be consciously aware of failing at this, and you will be hard on yourself if you do. If someone else tells you you're NOT this way, it may make you feel hurt, violated, or angry.)

Which of the following ideals resonate with you the most, and why? Rank them.


1) I want to be perceived as "cool". I know this is a very shallow term all things considering. But I feel this deep need to be valued as likeable and trendy and someone others can look up to, and think 'damn she has style'.
2) I want to be seen as brave and dynamic. I want people to know the struggle I go through and know that sensitive people can be really tough too. I want to be the kind of person who will always surprise people and make them think twice about stereotyping me.
3) I want to be seen as wise and empathetic. I like the idea of being emotionally stable and grounded enough to advise people on their own doubts and insecurities.
4) I want to be seen as a free-spirit, someone who goes with the flow and adapts to new situations, because I want to be included.

11. Determine your "felt sense" of life. To do this it may help to look at how you perceive events. Another way to do this is to look back at your childhood and think of all the things your parents did to you. How did you/do you feel about these events?

I have learned from my parents to be afraid and sceptical of new situations or thinking too much into the future. I learned to accept life is what happens to you and I grew up to be very unassertive and obliging. I learned to believe that emotions control the person and you couldn't rationalize anything.

On the flip side, I learned to appreciate the simple things in life, and remain down-to-earth and humble. I learned to really appreciate traditions and inside jokes and wonderful stories and art. I will always have so many great stories and magical moments to keep me comforted.

12. Core fears. You may have been aware of these fears even as a very small child, before anyone did anything to influence it. You'd be mortified to be in this position or have others perceive you this way.

I fear commitment. I fear being stuck in a dead end job or dead end relationship, unable to get out because I have no other plans, no ambitions or no boundaries. I crave freedom and I fear being without it. For this reason, I keep myself to myself and avoid signing contracts wherever possible. I like to know that I can always escape to the comfort of my own safe space where I don't have to deal with the demands and responsibilites of the world.

 

[skimpit]

You're not a loser! I just want to say that I think you're an ISFJ.

ISFJs can be creative and cool, too. It just takes some time for them to find their wings.

 

[BlackStarla]

You're not a loser! I just want to say that I think you're an ISFJ.

ISFJs can be creative and cool, too. It just takes some time for them to find their wings.

Really? That's interesting. I don't relate to most of the ISFJ description though.
The only thing I can relate to is the really good memory and comfort-seeking/trusting what is familar aspects.

Things I don't relate to are the fact they seem to be more on the traditional side (e.g. needing to create routines and traditions with the family), loyal to established methods and social structures, being very family-oriented as they have the 'caregiver' nickname, being known as particularly neat/tidy (I'm a bit of a slob), being exceptionally hardworking and diligent (I do just enough to get by).

So while I will consider ISFJ and can see reasons 'for' it, Id like to explore this further.

 

[Cupcakemonster]

I genuinely think you sound amazing btw! I will give you a better breakdown later, & I want to say I can relate to a lot of what you said so I want to take the time to type that out better for you later too. Analyzing people around me, your thoughts on dating, being afraid of commitment were a couple things that really hit me hard & I almost screamed YES at my phone screen. lol

For now, I just wanted to say I think you sound like an INFJ. INFJ's are one of my favorite types btw, & it would make sense that I can relate to what you wrote even as a completely different type because it would mean that we share the same functions.

Any type can have a good memory. I think memory gets correlated to Si way too often. It's better to look at people's motivations for things imo. I don't really get any more Si from you besides you stating that you think your memory's good either.

×N×J types can be a lot less organized than typical ×S×J types.

Have you ever considered or looked into this type at all? If not, I'd suggest looking into INFJ type descriptions online & also for you to look into the functions Ni Fe Ti Se. I'd be interested in then reading feedback from you on what you feel does & doesn't relate.

Practice good positive self talk & get that self esteem up though hun!

 

[Cupcakemonster]

Also enneagram wise, have you ever looked into 6w7? I think it could also be a possibility for you.

 

[Cupcakemonster]

I know it's a really long read, but I thought you might really relate to this tritype too

469 Seeker Archetype
469 If you are 469, you are intuitive, inquisitive and accepting. You want to be original, certain and peaceful. You are a very sensitive and can experience intense feelings of self-doubt and uncertainty. As a result you need multiple sources of confirmation. You want to be individualistic but can fear being separate from others. Your life mission is to raise the questions pertaining to the mysteries of life and share your findings with others. A true seeker, you are happiest when you feel you can answer the question of who you are. You can be so focused on your feelings, insecurities and doubts that you can feel paralyzed by the fear of making the wrong decision and of being misled or duped. The 469 is a seeker with a lot of self doubt. There is always more to learn when you are this tritype but the desire is to develop a philosophy. the 6 and 4 have the most self doubt along with the 9. The 4 doubts their feelings, the 6 their thoughts. 6s want reassurance, 4s want praise to offset their natural tendency to be shame sensitive. The 4 leading is more concerned with the Who am I question and hopes to 'someday' have that answered through constant introspection and referencing their own feelings. I can only speak from my own lens and say that the 6 leading is less identity focused. Who Am I doesn't enter the picture like the 4, and less reliance on needing to set themselves apart to resolve the philosophical dilemma. ...the 6 will stereotypically give 469 some sort of orientation around associations to ease anxiety...469 will have more of a push-pull reaction pattern with authority in staving off inner anxiety. The 9 or 4 with the 469 tritype has the 3 types that feel doubt. Doubt breeds insecurity which increases anxiety. The gift of this tritype is the ability to search for meaning. What begins as doubt ultimates brings a great deal of knowledge that can lead to greater understanding. The sx 469s want the security of that comes with a trusted relationship. Grief can feel overwhelming and many have shared feeling flooded. They also report that grief brings up fear. Both the 469 and 269 tend to be passive. The 269 is more engraciating. The 469 is more aloof. The 468 reacts and rings the alarm to prevent making a mistake to calm down and the 469 doubts and procrastinates to avoid making a mistake.... To calm down. The 469 is very gentle unless threatened.They are very out of touch with their gut! The struggle is with doubt and inaction. 9s fear being in conflict. 479 vs 469. Look at the level of confidence and optimism. The 7 brings a light touch with magical thinking, hoping for the best. In contrast, the 6 brings support and loyalty. Both are highly intuitive but the 469 has more doubts - The 479 is more future oriented, focusing on the possibilities. The 469 is more dutiful with a heavier heart, fearing that they can't make enough of a difference. ‎469s report a fear of making ten wrong decision and then having feelings of painful self consciousness and shame for having done so.... But also for not making a decision. If 6 is dominant in the 469 tritype, there are more obvious fears and concerns. However, 946 and 469 are equally troubled by insecurities. All 3 types have a little paralysis through analysis. And all 3 hate conflict. ) The 469 experiences extreme self doubt and hesitates more than other 4s. It is a shy 4 but they do have their own opinions...they are just reluctant to voice them. The 649 has the greatest difficulty trusting their own thoughts and tends to seek multiple confirmations before making decisions. The 964 is plagued with indecision too and can look like a 6 but they are not as inclined to seek opinions from others. They just avoid the conflict hoping it will resolve itself. The 469 is the most doubting tritype regardless which type is in charge. It is also the tritype that most struggles with a constant sense of self. They can also be somewhat passive. The only tritype more passive is the 269. The 269 is happier in presentation. Regarding doubt for the 469: I think Katherine said that the 4 has self-doubt, the 6 doubts themselves and others and the 9 has the believer/doubter dichotomy. the 649 (or 469 964) want peace harmony and gentleness. They are sensitive and doesn't know what to trust and in particular doesn't know what to trust in themselves. She stated that the 6 is more often than not phobic and needs multiple sources of confirmation and information. They don't feel they can rebound from emotional pain so they tend to avoid it through the questioning process and end up finding more questions. 469 is going to have more difficulty being separate from others. More shame and anxiety about being different. There would be more checking in with others. (4)-6-9 - The Normative 4 4-(6)-9 - The Withdrawn 6 4-6-(9) - The Reactive 9 This tritype has many self-confidence problems. They may often feel as though they need help from others, but that they are unable to get it. They fight between needing others and striving for seclusion. 6-4-9 Accepting and intuitive, most emotional and passive, can think they are a 2 or a sexual subtype. Most doubting 6. This will often explain why non 6s that are not self-preserving wonder why they run high anxiety. For example, the 9 or 4 with the 469 tritype has the 3 types that feel doubt. Doubt breeds insecurity which increases anxiety. The gift of this tritype is the ability to search for meaning. What begins as doubt ultimates brings a great deal of knowledge that can lead to greater understanding. 946: Intuitive and inquisitive 9. Most inclined to hesitate and feel doubt and uncertainty. Most gentle, passive 9. High anxiety. When the 4 and 6 are in the tritype there is more negativity as a strategy to prevent making a mistake that will bring shame, blame and criticism. This is most true of the 461 and then 468 and then the 469. 649 The Seeker. Accepting and intuitive 6. This is the most emotional and accommodating 6. This 6 has the most self-doubt and uncertainty and often seeks multiple sources of confirmation before making a decision. This 6 is very sensitive, and can be mistaken for a 4 or 2. The core fears are of fear itself, danger, being alone, cowardice, submitting, deviance, uncertainty, targeted, chaos, conflict, being loveless, complication, discord, being shutout, inharmonious, being inadequate, emotionally cut off, ordinary, commonplace, being abandoned. Anxiety and worry increase with the 1 and doubt and uncertainty with the 9. Examine your motivations rather than your behaviors. This is especially difficult for the 6, but more so for the 649 as all 3 types tend to doubt as a defense strategy. This is the Tritype that is most reluctant to take a stand for their "own" opinion until they are angry. The 641 has all 3 types that fear making a mistake and being at risk for having done so. They tend to be more likely to show frustration and to correct and instruct others ( especially for the so 641). your descriptions sound more like sp1 in the gut. As a sp6 you have a natural iine of connection to sp9. Research has shown that you move to your wings and lines of connection with the same dominant instinct running the show. When your sp6 moves to sp9 and sp3 it is momentary and adding to you sp6. When you shift in your tritype your sp6 shifts to the 1 for solutions and runs all permutations of the 1 driven by the needs and concerns of the self-pres. The confusion may be that sp1 worries much like a 6 but the focus is on improving. So your instinct may have made it more difficult to land on the 614. Take your time. The 694 is much more hidden and inhibited. The 641 is focused on the perfecting and refining...getting it right. Both 4s and 6s can be emotional. The questions is what are you emotional about? In terms of difficult behaviors... 6s identify a source to prove 4s identify a source to impress 649 doubting, insecure I'm 649 too...some days 469, and some 964 My mind automatically scans for rejection, conflict, and inclusion/exclusion, whenever I'm focusing on *me* (for example putting myself 'out there' with my music - which is my absolute heart and soul). Whenever my self and esteem and worth is on the line, whenever I've made a personal *effort* to engage or simply self-express to others, I'm basically a wreck. However if attention is not on me, I'm fine...often one with nature, internalizing the world, being receptive and in touch with my inner self, entertaining myself with my mind, desires, fantasy...I can do that in my own privacy and on my own terms and I'm happy to not need others. But I'm too often pulled to find myself in the world (and show myself to it) to stay isolated for long. I can (and often do) get passive and can let a lot of years go by spinning on the same ungroundedness, not really pushing myself out there for fear of rejection and not being what I envision myself to be (wish to be). I have a lot of 'go along' energy that I fall back on when I need emotional and psychic rest. I think my tritype is 469. It particularly plays itself out in the social realm via shame, feeling utterly different, feeling hunted when very insecure (with no real external evidence to back the feeling up) and then by succumbing to a desire to merge with the group by lying down and playing 'dead' like a puppy. The merging brings short-term relief until my need to express myself takes over. If I can't I feel sickened by my lack of authenticity, if I can I do which opens me up to feeling exposed and ashamed again so I withdraw to avoid feeling hunted. The sx with 4 brings emotional intensity and a need for closeness with desired intimates...and, there is anger if intimacy is thwarted or denied. The 468 is impulsive and highly reactive... the focus is on immediate resolution. The 469 feels a great deal of doubt and in general is not as reactive. There is more of a tendency to hesitate, plan and prepare with more anxiety. The 469 is more phobic than the 468. The 649 ponders...thinks and rethinks. They are introspective like the 459...just more people oriented. Their shame is in making a mistake...they must get it right like the 461 but do not feel that they can easily say their opinion our loud due to a fear that they might make a mistake. As 4 is dominant, in addition to seeing themselves as intuitive and deep with a need for beauty and aesthetics....The 479s see themselves as loving, innovative and gentle, the 468 as intense and iconoclastic and the 469 as thoughtful and introspective.

 

[BlackStarla]

I genuinely think you sound amazing btw! I will give you a better breakdown later, & I want to say I can relate to a lot of what you said so I want to take the time to type that out better for you later too. Analyzing people around me, your thoughts on dating, being afraid of commitment were a couple things that really hit me hard & I almost screamed YES at my phone screen. lol

For now, I just wanted to say I think you sound like an INFJ. INFJ's are one of my favorite types btw, & it would make sense that I can relate to what you wrote even as a completely different type because it would mean that we share the same functions.

Any type can have a good memory. I think memory gets correlated to Si way too often. It's better to look at people's motivations for things imo. I don't really get any more Si from you besides you stating that you think your memory's good either.

×N×J types can be a lot less organized than typical ×S×J types.

Have you ever considered or looked into this type at all? If not, I'd suggest looking into INFJ type descriptions online & also for you to look into the functions Ni Fe Ti Se. I'd be interested in then reading feedback from you on what you feel does & doesn't relate.

Practice good positive self talk & get that self esteem up though hun!

Aww, thanks so much for saying this! I think I was feeling a bit down when I answered these questions so they come across as a bit moody but its nice to hear I still come across as a nice person.

I have actually considered INFJ for myself before but I always manage to dissuade myself from it because its the rarest type and I've heard that most INFJs are mistyped. Also, no one else has really said I come across an INFJ before, so I just didn't think it was possible.

But I'd love to hear you breakdown

As for enneagram, I have looked into tritypes and I knew I must have been either 469 or 459 so your clarification really helps!

 

[Cupcakemonster]

[MENTION=40088]BlackStarla[/MENTION] I didn't think you came across as moody. I thought you seemed sweet but just lacking some self confidence at the moment. I know 2 INFJs in real life, both men, so I guess they're really the rare-ist of the rare. lol but I don't think they're mistyped at all, & that it fits them really well. Definitely don't let something like that persuade you away from considering a type that you think might fit you.

 

[Cupcakemonster]

My breakdown:

Letter wise:

So I think introversion is basically a given for you- So I

Liking to fantasize & I didn't get a strong sense that you use much Se or Si- So N

You seem sensitive, kind, & concerned about people's opinions of you & being liked- So F

I didn't get a strong sense of P or J for you, but you just didn't vibe as an infp to me. I saw no examples of you preferring Fi or Ne- So I went with J

"overthinking/overanalyzing both the inner workings of myself & my loved ones"- Ti with some Fe

"tend to feel at my best if I can get out of my head for a while & go take a walk in nature"- Se

"not very in touch with my emotions"- not Fi because I feel like Fi users are better at identifying how they personally feel

"playing a part in order to impress people"- Fe because Fi users are more concerned about being authentic, true to themselves, & not changing themselves around others

"retreat into my imagination & fantasize that I'm a character from another world"- could be Ni or Ne I think

"envision a particular image of myself and then make it happen"- Ni

"creative & aesthetic"- intuitive type but also Se

"I really don't care about businesses & performance"- made me think not a Te user

"those people who just pour emotion from their souls with every interaction... I envy that"- sounds like you value Fe but wished you used it more yourself

"cut out a long-term friend because she crossed a line"- honestly could be any type but made me think of the famous INFJ door-slam

"minimize my feelings to accommodate others"- type 9 yes but could also be Fe

"definitely not 8 because I'm not a confrontational person"- probably not a Te user either

"feel most poorly about myself if someone has expressed their dislike"- Fe external validation

"turn to friends & family because I need to hear that I'm a worthy person"- Fe again

"deep need to be valued as likeable & trendy" "damn she has style"- Fe & Se

"because I want to be included"- Fe

Your last paragraph struck me as being very Se & also 7ish when it comes to enneagram & that's one reason why I suggested 6w7 for you

 

[Pionart]

I think INFP makes sense. The INFP function order works for the part of the OP that I read.

Clinging onto the past would be Si, labelling people for a sense of control would be Te.

I struggle with free-time when I'm left alone to be honest. I often find myself procrastinating, waiting for some external force to motivate me into action.

Struggling and motivation are key themes that I associate with Fi.

You also sound like you have a good imagination (N).

 

[Cupcakemonster]

[MENTION=22833]Legion[/MENTION] I got the sense that OP feels the need to seek approval from others, so wouldn't that be Fe>Fi? I didn't see them describing much of any Fi values imo anyway.

Any type can struggle with motivation at times. I wouldn't personally see a reason on why that would be function related. Could you expand on that?

 

[Pionart]

[MENTION=22833]Legion[/MENTION] I got the sense that OP feels the need to seek approval from others, so wouldn't that be Fe>Fi? I didn't see them describing much of any Fi values imo anyway.

Any type can struggle with motivation at times. I wouldn't personally see a reason on why that would be function related. Could you expand on that?

I agree that Fe is more concerned with what others think of them, but thinking of the FPs I know, I can see a kind of approval-seeking nature in some of them. It's different to the "making an impression" style of Fe.

The thing about struggle and motivation, is that I was reading people to find patterns, without necessarily tying it to Jung, but then found it lined up well with it anyway. The reads that lined up with Fi were people who had a sense of struggling and need to find motivation - struggle and motivation were literally 2 of the main words I associated with this sort of person. They often seek out someone who will be able to help them, and that may line up with the approval-seeking.

 

[Cupcakemonster]

I agree that Fe is more concerned with what others think of them, but thinking of the FPs I know, I can see a kind of approval-seeking nature in some of them. It's different to the "making an impression" style of Fe.

The thing about struggle and motivation, is that I was reading people to find patterns, without necessarily tying it to Jung, but then found it lined up well with it anyway. The reads that lined up with Fi were people who had a sense of struggling and need to find motivation - struggle and motivation were literally 2 of the main words I associated with this sort of person. They often seek out someone who will be able to help them, and that may line up with the approval-seeking.

It just seemed a bit reaching to me.

 

[Vendrah]

I agree with [MENTION=22833]Legion[/MENTION], you seem INFP to me.
I think there are lots of passages with Ne, Ti and Fi. In short, Ne with daydreaming, screaming for freedom... Fi for Enneagram 4 and 9, not controlling emotions, appearing childlike, Ti for wanting to categorize stuff, for seeking autonomy.
But there were lots of passages suggesting F and P, sometimes P screamed way too much! P for procrastinating, not keeping on the schedule, trying to get rid from contracts (although a kind of Fi use could remedy that), being dynamic, F for crying over puppiers and other crying stuff, N came because of Ne mostly, and I... Well, I is kind of a weak argument, but because of keeping youself to the inner world, I think?

You want some advice in struggles?
Here it is one: Dont limit your Ti just because you had reached the conclusion you are a feeler!

EDIT: Also, do you know Big 5?
Do you score high on Big 5 Neuroticism?
I smell a weird Te neurosis in there lol.

 

[Cupcakemonster]

[MENTION=32874]Vendrah[/MENTION] INFP's don't use Ti. They use Te. lol

 

[Pionart]

[MENTION=32874]Vendrah[/MENTION] INFP's don't use Ti. They use Te. lol

We use all 8 functions. From my perspective, we can even use them consciously. It's just that they tend to work together in a kind of hierarchy, but that hierarchy can be changed at different times.

So the strength of your 8 functions isn't necessarily just the order of your functions. ESTP is Se-Ti-Fe-Ni--Si-Te-Fi-Ne, but Fi for instance might be stronger for a given ESTP than that function order would suggest. That's because we don't just purely rely on the one type configuration, but use other configurations as well. One is just the "primary".

(Vendrah will have a different explanation)

 

[BlackStarla]

Hi peeps.

Thanks so much for helping me with this. So it sounds like INF* at least. Maybe these extra questions will help?


What is beauty? What is love?

Beauty, to me, is so many things. It is nature. It is knowledge. It is sadness. It is imperfection and struggle. Anything that makes me feel more connected to the human experience.

Love, I’m learning, is a choice. A very brave choice to dismiss everything you loathe about another human being and support them anyway. A choice to help another person reach their potential and to be part of something bigger than your own ego.

What are your most important values?

I value empathy, because without it the world would be an incredibly hostile and unsafe place to live.

I value community/friendship because it allows you to feel accepted and included regardless of your differences.

I value honesty because it allows for a closer, more intimate relationship with others.

I value logic, because it allows us to make sense of the world when our feelings are telling us different.

I value open-mindedness because it offers freedom and the ability to live life in alternative ways.

Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?

I am non-religious, because I highly value logic and science more than I value tradition and faith. But I am interested in developing my spiritual side by meditating and taking psychadelics.

Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?

I’m more of a pacifist. I feel like war is too black & white for me. It presumes everyone is fighting for the same ideal whereas I’m sure each individual involved has a different reason for why they are fighting.

Power is a silly thing to crave really. We’re all going to end up in the grave with nothing.


What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?

I’ve had many a conversation about behavioural psychology, especially with regards to my friends and family. I love figuring out the way people tick and why they are the way they are. It gives me a sense of control around them, and helps me to predict where things are going next. I spend a lot of time trying to give labels to people and categorize them. I like fantasizing about various scenarios over and over again.E.g. I just spent that last hour thinking about Britney Spears. If she were to create a new album comprised of other people’s songs which songs would be best? I think about random stuff like that all the time!

Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?

Sort of. I try to look after my body because I do care about looking good and feeling good, but it often depends on the mood I’m in. I’m not very consistent with exercise/diets because it feels like a chore (and I naturally leave chores until the last minute).

What do you think of daily chores?

Haha,genuinely did not see that coming next. As above, I have a bad habit of leaving things until the last minute. Mess really bothers me and impacts my mood but I’m rarely ever motivated to keep on top of it. I’ll often only tidy up if I know I’m having a guest over because I want to give others a good experience when they visit.

Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.:

I just finished a book called ‘Where the Crawdads Sing’. I adored the setting and the main character. It was about this young girl who lived in the marshlands by herself because her family left her, and she spent most of her time alone with only nature to comfort her. I related to her a lot because she felt so alienated from society but also like she was exactly where she belonged.


What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?

I just got emotional imagining a future scenario whereby my boyfriend proposed to me. It made me super happy because I could put myself in that situation and imagine how it would feel etc. I thought about his reaction and how he’d well up with joy and that triggered me even more.


Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?

In the wild, surrounded by fauna and flora.

Also, I’m the host of a meet-up group, which I made for people who are lonely in my city so I always feel very accepted there because it is something that I created.

What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?

I’ve often been accused of taking things too personally and getting into these depressive states “woe is me” kind of thing. I try not to let anyone witness these states which is why I tend to keep to myself when I’m feeling blue. I hate showing my emotions in general because it makes me feel super vulnerable, but I do love it when I can be fully honest with my partner or my therapist about how lost I feel and I appreciate their guidance so much.

What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?

I like that I’m always trying to better myself and enhance my skills. I’m quite creative and I’m always looking for a new project to take on (e.g. right now I’m trying to make an online comic book series). I like to always envision a goal and keep working towards it. But at the same time, I love being swept away by spontaneity and novel experiences. I’m at my happiest when something new is only JUST starting and then I can get a bit bored once it turns out to be more hard work than I first thought.

In what areas of your life would you like help?

I need help to understand my feelings and express myself better. People tell me I often come across as very stoic and passive and I wish to be able to open up more.

Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.:

Often. I’m not the biggest fan of strict routines and schedules. Don’t get me wrong, I love have a security network and somewhere to always call ‘home’ but I need to be exploring places,learning new things and improving my life at all times, otherwise I just feel stuck.

What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types
do you get along with?

I love people who are accepting and laid-back, always open to hearing suggestions and advice. People who can get excited on my behalf and basically mirror my inner feelings on the outside. People who are enthusiastic when they hear my ideas and suggestions and want to follow through with them and go on mini adventures with me, even if they don’t work out.

How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?

I don’t really care about sex unless I form a close bond with someone (never had a one-night stand). I tend to fall for people who are already friends of mine, or who I’ve shared some kind of unique experience with. I have been prone to get involved with toxic people in the past because I’ve absorbed their emotions and wanted to try and help them in some way.

If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?

I’d be afraid of my child being bullied for being different and I’d want to instill confidence and a worldy wisdom in them and help them to feel important and special. I’d try to help them be compassionate and explain why other people may sometimes act mean or selfishly so they always have the foresight.
A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?

I would try and debate them, but in a tactful way. So I’d likely ask them why they came to that conclusion and offer an alternative way of looking at things without ever trying to turn it into an argument. But I would be wary of them from then going forward and would lose respect for them if they didn’t alter their point of view at all.

Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.:

I’m much more intrapersonal than interpersonal so I don’t pay as much attention to society as I do to individuals. I think a prevalent social problem is just ‘traditions’ and people not wanting to change the current system because they’re so used to the way things are and afraid of change.

How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?

I’m much more ‘responding’ than ‘initiating’ so often it’s friends that choose me. I’m happy to be friends with anyone who will give me a chance to be honest, as long as we have some kind of one-on-one rapport. I like to be able to discuss my likes/dislikes with a friend and have them either agree or disagree and respect each others difference of opinion.

How do you behave around strangers?

Pretty shy and formal, but polite and willing to engage with them if they approach me with kindess and open-mindedness.

 

[Vendrah]

[MENTION=40133]Cupcakemonster[/MENTION] I dont know if doing a big explanation is worth it for the moment and Im not in the mood to do so, so Id rather just say what [MENTION=22833]Legion[/MENTION] says: People uses all the functions and the functions are way more fluid than rigid.

Hi peeps.

Thanks so much for helping me with this. So it sounds like INF* at least. Maybe these extra questions will help?


What is beauty? What is love?

Beauty, to me, is so many things. It is nature. It is knowledge. It is sadness. It is imperfection and struggle. Anything that makes me feel more connected to the human experience.

Love, I’m learning, is a choice. A very brave choice to dismiss everything you loathe about another human being and support them anyway. A choice to help another person reach their potential and to be part of something bigger than your own ego.

What are your most important values?

I value empathy, because without it the world would be an incredibly hostile and unsafe place to live.

I value community/friendship because it allows you to feel accepted and included regardless of your differences.

I value honesty because it allows for a closer, more intimate relationship with others.

I value logic, because it allows us to make sense of the world when our feelings are telling us different.

I value open-mindedness because it offers freedom and the ability to live life in alternative ways.

Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?

I am non-religious, because I highly value logic and science more than I value tradition and faith. But I am interested in developing my spiritual side by meditating and taking psychadelics.

Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?

I’m more of a pacifist. I feel like war is too black & white for me. It presumes everyone is fighting for the same ideal whereas I’m sure each individual involved has a different reason for why they are fighting.

Power is a silly thing to crave really. We’re all going to end up in the grave with nothing.


What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?

I’ve had many a conversation about behavioural psychology, especially with regards to my friends and family. I love figuring out the way people tick and why they are the way they are. It gives me a sense of control around them, and helps me to predict where things are going next. I spend a lot of time trying to give labels to people and categorize them. I like fantasizing about various scenarios over and over again.E.g. I just spent that last hour thinking about Britney Spears. If she were to create a new album comprised of other people’s songs which songs would be best? I think about random stuff like that all the time!

Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?

Sort of. I try to look after my body because I do care about looking good and feeling good, but it often depends on the mood I’m in. I’m not very consistent with exercise/diets because it feels like a chore (and I naturally leave chores until the last minute).

What do you think of daily chores?

Haha,genuinely did not see that coming next. As above, I have a bad habit of leaving things until the last minute. Mess really bothers me and impacts my mood but I’m rarely ever motivated to keep on top of it. I’ll often only tidy up if I know I’m having a guest over because I want to give others a good experience when they visit.

Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.:

I just finished a book called ‘Where the Crawdads Sing’. I adored the setting and the main character. It was about this young girl who lived in the marshlands by herself because her family left her, and she spent most of her time alone with only nature to comfort her. I related to her a lot because she felt so alienated from society but also like she was exactly where she belonged.


What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?

I just got emotional imagining a future scenario whereby my boyfriend proposed to me. It made me super happy because I could put myself in that situation and imagine how it would feel etc. I thought about his reaction and how he’d well up with joy and that triggered me even more.


Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?

In the wild, surrounded by fauna and flora.

Also, I’m the host of a meet-up group, which I made for people who are lonely in my city so I always feel very accepted there because it is something that I created.

What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?

I’ve often been accused of taking things too personally and getting into these depressive states “woe is me” kind of thing. I try not to let anyone witness these states which is why I tend to keep to myself when I’m feeling blue. I hate showing my emotions in general because it makes me feel super vulnerable, but I do love it when I can be fully honest with my partner or my therapist about how lost I feel and I appreciate their guidance so much.

What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?

I like that I’m always trying to better myself and enhance my skills. I’m quite creative and I’m always looking for a new project to take on (e.g. right now I’m trying to make an online comic book series). I like to always envision a goal and keep working towards it. But at the same time, I love being swept away by spontaneity and novel experiences. I’m at my happiest when something new is only JUST starting and then I can get a bit bored once it turns out to be more hard work than I first thought.

In what areas of your life would you like help?

I need help to understand my feelings and express myself better. People tell me I often come across as very stoic and passive and I wish to be able to open up more.

Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.:

Often. I’m not the biggest fan of strict routines and schedules. Don’t get me wrong, I love have a security network and somewhere to always call ‘home’ but I need to be exploring places,learning new things and improving my life at all times, otherwise I just feel stuck.

What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types
do you get along with?

I love people who are accepting and laid-back, always open to hearing suggestions and advice. People who can get excited on my behalf and basically mirror my inner feelings on the outside. People who are enthusiastic when they hear my ideas and suggestions and want to follow through with them and go on mini adventures with me, even if they don’t work out.

How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?

I don’t really care about sex unless I form a close bond with someone (never had a one-night stand). I tend to fall for people who are already friends of mine, or who I’ve shared some kind of unique experience with. I have been prone to get involved with toxic people in the past because I’ve absorbed their emotions and wanted to try and help them in some way.

If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?

I’d be afraid of my child being bullied for being different and I’d want to instill confidence and a worldy wisdom in them and help them to feel important and special. I’d try to help them be compassionate and explain why other people may sometimes act mean or selfishly so they always have the foresight.
A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?

I would try and debate them, but in a tactful way. So I’d likely ask them why they came to that conclusion and offer an alternative way of looking at things without ever trying to turn it into an argument. But I would be wary of them from then going forward and would lose respect for them if they didn’t alter their point of view at all.

Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.:

I’m much more intrapersonal than interpersonal so I don’t pay as much attention to society as I do to individuals. I think a prevalent social problem is just ‘traditions’ and people not wanting to change the current system because they’re so used to the way things are and afraid of change.

How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?

I’m much more ‘responding’ than ‘initiating’ so often it’s friends that choose me. I’m happy to be friends with anyone who will give me a chance to be honest, as long as we have some kind of one-on-one rapport. I like to be able to discuss my likes/dislikes with a friend and have them either agree or disagree and respect each others difference of opinion.

How do you behave around strangers?

Pretty shy and formal, but polite and willing to engage with them if they approach me with kindess and open-mindedness.

I still think INFP, havent changed my mind.
I still see Ne, Fi, Ti, and this time some Fe and Ni as well, which still points to XNFP.