so/sp interactions with other variants - ESPECIALLY SX

[Salomé]

I see my name, but don't really know what people are talking about here. All a bit deep for me...

When I talk about conflict, I'm talking about the friction / tension created by opposing viewpoints. I find it energizing. I'm not talking about emotional conflict, which is draining.
Agreement is an anti-climax. There is nowhere to go once one reaches agreement and I find that dull, so I'll sometimes disagree just to keep things moving (also because I'm rarely certain of anything). It's the flakey SX in me, I guess. .

 

[runvardh]

I see my name, but don't really know what people are talking about here. All a bit deep for me...

When I talk about conflict, I'm talking about the friction / tension created by opposing viewpoints. I find it energizing. I'm not talking about emotional conflict, which is draining.
Agreement is an anti-climax. There is nowhere to go once one reaches agreement and I find that dull, so I'll sometimes disagree just to keep things moving (also because I'm rarely certain of anything). It's the flakey SX in me, I guess. .

At least it makes your posts interesting. I'm rarely sure if my serious contributions are really of any help to a topic.

 

[PeaceBaby]

@Morgan: LOL, disagree to keep things moving! You are so cute .. actually I love a good debate too. I wandered over to use provocative examples in this thread, so I took the thread away from objectivity myself right there, but wanted all the responses to stay objective, because I said so! Hee, not everyone followed my guidelines tho. My motivation was to try not to offend anyone, but that's hard to control even with rampant disclaimers all over the place.

Conflict for me relates more to interpersonal stuff, or when personal stuff gets muddied up in objective topics. I don't feel like it's a conflict if you and I both have alternate viewpoints about facts; I don't find that threatening. What I do find threatening is if you tell me I'm a big jerk because I believe those facts. That's dirty fightin'!.

It's the emotional stuff that I feel a need to establish harmony and rapport within. I don't feel that same need when it comes down to facts and opinions. And even with emotional stuff, we don't have to agree, just respect each other's vantage points.

@kitteh: of course we love your contributions. I always find your POV of interest.

 

[BlackCat]

One thing I have a problem with with sx lasts is they just seem to be bad with maintaining relationships. From what I've observed they usually maintain a couple of real friendships at a time and have a ton of acquaintances.

The issue I'm currently having is with one of my best friends... he just seems to have me in the backburner. There are two other people he's CONSTANTLY with; like any time he's off work. His girlfriend and a guy he knows from work specifically.

I've known him since I was a freshman, and I am just starting to feel ignored. He is always texting on his phone (like always, ignores everyone else in the room if he's texting) but I hardly ever get texted.

And he doesn't think badly of me, believe me. We're really tight. It just seems like he forgets about me when he wants to do stuff. He just always goes and does things with those two people. It's really annoying. I don't know if he considers me a "doing stuff" friend or a talking friend or what... usually what we do is chill at his house and watch movies.

It's all really perplexing to me; since I try to maintain all of my important relationships and he just doesn't really seem to be like that at all... I've accepted that he's different from me being an sp/so but sometimes it's really annoying.

Another friend has noticed that too; but it's worse with him. And it's funny, they're really close too and my sp/so friend usually just never texts him back (remember- he's always on his phone). Never really interacts with him except for the occasional text and when the three of us play online games together.

It's almost like he is avoiding the people that he's close with (which are few) and doing things with others who just have an on the surface interaction... could that be a problem with sx last? It's a bit unbelievable to me, but idk what else to think.

 

[runvardh]

The girlfriend, I'd understand, really. Even I'm like that when someone special is in my world, she takes the first and sometimes I will forget the rest of the world for a while.

 

[BlackCat]

The girlfriend, I'd understand, really. Even I'm like that when someone special is in my world, she takes the first and sometimes I will forget the rest of the world for a while.

Yeah I can understand that, but he wasn't like that at all with his last girlfriend. I was hanging with them a lot back then.

 

[runvardh]

Yeah I can understand that, but he wasn't like that at all with his last girlfriend. I was hanging with them a lot back then.

Maybe he managed a critique on his dating and is trying another method to see if this one will work better...

 

[BlueGray]

It's almost like he is avoiding the people that he's close with (which are few) and doing things with others who just have an on the surface interaction... could that be a problem with sx last? It's a bit unbelievable to me, but idk what else to think.

With most people I have this. I like spending time with people and any action. With almost everyone there is a point where it feels like we are spending time together for the sake of spending time together. Such situations feel incredibly draining and tiring. I then either spend time alone or with other people. So far there's really only one person I've met without facing this issue.

This could easily be the reason.

 

[BlackCat]

With most people I have this. I like spending time with people and any action. With almost everyone there is a point where it feels like we are spending time together for the sake of spending time together. Such situations feel incredibly draining and tiring. I then either spend time alone or with other people. So far there's really only one person I've met without facing this issue.

This could easily be the reason.

Weird... works the other way around for me.

In his words he said "well random people ask me to do stuff, and I just do it." I guess he just doesn't really think about it. I used to hang with him a lot before I had a job... I guess I just have to catch him when he's not doing anything. Ah well. Our relationship is fine, just the way he is is a bit weird to me.

 

[BlueGray]

The sensation is similar to spending too much time with people in general but is slightly longer term. It's in terms of weeks rather than hours.

 

[BlackCat]

The sensation is similar to spending too much time with people in general but is slightly longer term. It's in terms of weeks rather than hours.

Now that's an interesting and insightful perspective... like being worn out in an introvert way but for a longer period of time about being around individuals for too long?

Like I said before... it's the other way around. I usually can't get enough of being around and interacting with individuals that I like. It's just being around actual people and socializing that drains me.

 

[lulabelle]

what are some stereotypes/experiences with sp/sx's (If you know INFP sp/sxs that would be great too. 4w5 as well). I really haven't read too much on sp/sx. I'm wondering how this instinctual variant generally gets on with others

 

[Redbone]

Complaints of being very hot or very cold...being very intense and open followed by abrupt withdrawal and closed off.

 

[Virtual ghost]

What about So/Sp with Sp/So ?

 

[saskiazaaza]

I have many experiences here with SO/SP peoples. Especially complicated relationship with my mom ( She is ESE 1w2 So/Sp ).
They're nice , warm , friendly , and easy going. But , i have hot and cold with them.

I'm as SX/SP. I really seek long term relationship and i do something to myself & my closest person ( my friend ). But , when i'm single. I really want a boyfriend or partner to accepts me i am. But i want to alone tbh. *Oh , how indecisive i'm* , and i can't do relationship without commitment too tbh. Especially , i can trust people easily but i can't trust with people too.
The good is , i can focus to one person tbh. But , i'm too withdraw into my world than outside. So , peoples mistype me as rude person. When , they don't approach me.

Mom as SO/SP , she really enlarge her social connection and she tries to controls me to be like her tbh. Like , she said " You should be friendly to people and you can't survive without people. " And , she focuses to social network than intimacy. Although , she is more commit than me. But , the good is she has a lot of friends than me. It makes she is good business woman and dentist too.
she complains me to being too intense like too hot but too cold , impulsive , and being loner wolf irl.
*Especially , she has 3w2 fixes*

 

[RadicalDoubt]

What about So/Sp with Sp/So ?

Generally, I find it's a give or take there depending on the degree of sx blindness between each individual, the strength of the so/sp's sp, and the strength of the sp/so's so if we are going purely by instinctual comparability and not just human comparability in general.

Generally speaking, I find that both types are likely to complain that the other is too closed off and that interaction can become difficult because of that. Nonetheless, sharing the two primary instincts, even if the order is reversed, typically suggests that areas of weakness/sore spots are in the same regime and, especially for those looking for someone to relate to or someone who understands their struggle, the two can get along pretty well. The expectation for increased intimacy isn't there, so the two generally enjoy casual and friendly relations based on fun, shared experience, and friendly interactions (at least until further bonding occurs).

The biggest issue comes when the secondary instinct is super weak I suppose. Sp/so can have difficulty tolerating so/sp's focus on soc, seeing it as excessive or a subtle "fakeness," especially since sp themselves has no real drive to be incredibly included in networking or groups outside of spontaneously being absorbed into one or that soc activity specifically benefiting their sp. So/sp, especially when soc is weak in the sp/so, can find sp/so to be overtly dry and secluded, perhaps excessively aloof (unless the so/sp in particular is also aloof as well), too flowing and self absorbed to be attentive to the possibilities that the outside offers.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

I make a lot of them uncomfortable because I have a propensity for inappropriateness. The 5s/Te types don't seem to be bothered by me and appear to enjoy my communication style.

Sometimes So/Sp types try to briefly mimic/match my Sx in a bonding effort, and to me, it just comes across as awkward and ingenuine, albeit kinda cute in its efforts.

 

[Virtual ghost]

I make a lot of them uncomfortable because I have a propensity for inappropriateness. The 5s/Te types don't seem to be bothered by me and appear to enjoy my communication style.

Sometimes So/Sp types try to briefly mimic/match my Sx in a bonding effort, and to me, it just comes across as awkward and ingenuine, albeit kinda cute in its efforts.

Some examples wouldn't hurt your case.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

Some examples wouldn't hurt your case.

I submit for your consideration, exhibits A through Z: My entire presence on this forum.

 

[Virtual ghost]

I submit for your consideration, exhibits A through Z: My entire presence on this forum.

Call it "cultural difference" but you still pass as "nice" in my book.