I feel compelled to state for the record that I think the phrase "touchy-feely" is gross and that I think it's gross when people are touchy-feely. Google defines it as "openly expressing affection or other emotions, especially through physical contact." I think if that is being read into what I wrote, then it's being read incorrectly. At least in the context of needing to work together to complete some task, folks need to keep it in their pants. This may be a matter of semantics, but I mean, the meaning of words/phrases matters. And the expression "touchy-feely" actually has the connotation of crossing personal boundaries, which works against the kind of 'nurturing an environment of mutual respect" that I was trying to describe.
I see your point, and I agree with you. I'm just being imprecise when I use "touchy-feely" to describe the Fe way of doing things. I'm using "touchy-feely" in the sense of "being solicitous of feelings of the other person," but that's not exactly what "touchy-feely" technically means. So I'll quit using "touchy-feely" in that sense or context.
As for the rest of your post: I'm not so much interested in *your* experience of *your own* Aux-Fe.
Let me explain that by reiterating what I'm trying to accomplish in this thread. Basically, I'm trying to establish an F vs T division along the following lines:
F is concerned with:
--What is love? Loyalty? Betrayal? What kind of partner would I want? What kind of friend? Do I want a friend who competes with me, or a friend who supports me? Do I want a partner who challenges me, or a partner who mirrors me? What is sexy to me, versus what is not sexy to me? What causes me to trust people, and what causes me to mistrust people? What constitutes friendship? What do I do if I get angry at a friend? And so on...
Whereas T is concerned with:
--Where am I on the pecking order? What's my role in my social group? How much do I lead and how much do I follow? How do I deal with group conflict? What if I try to assert my wishes or demands and other members of the group frustrate me in that attempt? What if I fail? What if I succeed? Should I automatically do what others tell me, or can I do things differently from others? How do I handle the anger of others? How do I handle my own anger in the group setting? What if I get ostracized from the group? What if I get elected leader of the group? And so on...
The tools that you develop at this stage are very different from the tools that you developed at the "F stage." Here, at the "T stage," you develop tools such as: The concepts of equity, equality, balance, social structure, social hierarchy, conflict management, anger management, leadership, followership, rank, pecking order, etc.
I characterize this F-vs-T comparison, in short, in the following manner:
T skills are in the realm of "social" or "group leadership" skills, as opposed to F skills being in the realm of "personal relationship" or "one-on-one interaction" skills.
Thus, what I'm ideally looking for is people with broad experience of all types who can draw comparisons of both F and T and say whether or not they see F and T in a similar light.
Therefore, I'm *less* interested in a precise and detailed breakdown of your own personal experiences of your own Aux-Fe. Thats partly because you're an Ni-Dom who has been a nurse and a manager (If I remember correctly). You might have picked up some Te management skills as part of your repertoire. Also, I could point to your description of your Aux-Fe skills and say that it sounds like a workplace-based use of F "personal relationship" or "one-on-one interaction" skills (as I've defined them), but you could interpret your experiences in a different way and try to prove how you see those same skills as "social" or "group leadership" skills (which I've defined as T skills).
So your personal observations of your own Aux-Fe skills are of limited use. I would rather hear from people who have worked or lived with or have experience of *both* F-Doms and T-Doms in their lives, and who can do the same kind of broad F vs T comparisons that I have attempted, and can thus confirm or deny what I'm suggesting.
Also: Not to put down your input, but you're an Ni-Dom, and Ni-Doms love long arguments. I've seen you go round and round with people on this topic in the past. (You're one of the chief participants in the never-ending Fe-vs-Fi wars in the past.) Based on what I've seen, I suspect we could slice and dice your description of your own experience of your own Aux-Fe forever and still never come to any agreement.
So my position on this is as follows: I'm interested in hearing about your own experience of your Aux-Fe, and I've paid attention to what you've posted. But I don't want to get into a big digression with you about it. For purposes of this thread, I would rather stick to the topic of broad F vs T comparisons, in the spirit of what I've proposed in my own posts in this thread.
To put it another way: You're an N-Dom, not an F-Dom or T-Dom. I would rather hear less about your *own* Aux-Fe, and more about your experiences with the various F-Doms and T-Doms that might be in your life.