RadicalDoubt
Alongside Questionable Clarity
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2017
- Messages
- 1,846
- MBTI Type
- TiSi
- Enneagram
- 9w1
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/so
Yeah, so I filled my own questionaire. Whoop-de-do no surprise. Anyhow, I'm mostly looking for comments on my judging functions mbti wise and maybe some final input on my tritype/iv if anyone gets anything out of this. I don't relate to any of the judging functions entirely and might have some sort of bias I'm ignoring.
Additionally, because of the sheer length of everything I write, I'm putting in a poll so I actually get a response maybe. You probably don't have to read through the whole thing to an idea. Anyways, to anyone who responds at all, kudos to you and thanks in advance:
Additionally, because of the sheer length of everything I write, I'm putting in a poll so I actually get a response maybe. You probably don't have to read through the whole thing to an idea. Anyways, to anyone who responds at all, kudos to you and thanks in advance:
1) Context:
[I]a) What is your age range and general location (Country so that cultural values can be taken into account)? Do you have any impairments that may affect the way that you answer this questionnaire? Any religious or political beliefs that also might have an effect? [/I]
I’m an American college student. My mental health is sort of a mess, not sure to what degree that’ll affect my responses. I don’t place enough value in my religious or political standing for it to affect my personality.
b) Which types are you currently considering? Why are you considering them and why haven’t you decided on one?
I’m pretty certain I’m somewhere in the xNxP range. I’ve been typing as ENFP for awhile now but it’s still very difficult to see myself within the range of Fi (or any of the judging functions for that matter). I’m almost positive I’m high Ne, that’s the only thing that seems to make sense in context of my personality. I’ve considered high grade Si types as well, but others have responded pretty strongly against that.
Eenneagram wise, I’ve settled loosely on the 136 tritype. 9 has been thrown around a lot. I see myself more in 1, but a 9 fix isn’t improbable. A low grade four fix has also been thrown out there time and time again. I’ve been going with 6w5 core for awhile now. It doesn’t fit perfectly, but nothing really does and I am human doubt ™ ,so it’s probably right. With IV I always figured sp/so or at least sx blind, but recent analysis has lead me to believe that I might use sx?
Socionics wise I have no clue, and this probably won’t be revealing. Se polR probably.
2) What do you deem as your purpose in life?
While I don’t really deem people as having intrinsic purposes outside of what they or their environment make it, I suppose my purpose in life has been to pursue my goals, gain satisfaction, and to help the ones dear to me. They’ve stayed consistent most of my life, though the satisfaction part is fairly new. My goals, which are both career based and based on solving a life problem of mine (as it relates to my last point), have always been top priority, and I desire to be successful in a way that pleases me and happily situated in a career that allows me to continue learning new things and developing myself till I die. Satisfaction is a given I suppose. The last one has sort of been pushed on me, but I’ve sort of taken it upon myself to solve problems and incite change where I see fit for myself and a select few.
3) Of the seven deadly sins, which one(s) do you relate to the most and the least and why?
In order I’d say Greed > Pride > Sloth/Gluttony > Wrath > Envy > Lust
While I don’t think it shows all the time, greed and pride are definitely my top two sins. For one thing, I hate spending and wasting money on just about anything. While I’ve pushed myself in the opposite direction, I have a strong tendency towards hoarding and will avoid sharing and resources or my own things when I can. Pride wise, despite coming off fairly humble and self depreciating to most, I have a fairly large ego. At my worst, I overestimate my intellectual abilities and I’m shocked it doesn’t show. I put greed above it just because I’m pretty quick to acknowledge my flaws and have a self depreciating edge.
On the low side is envy and lust. Until I got into college, I don’t think I actually felt much envy at all. While I wouldn’t consider things satisfactory and often desire better things for myself, I’m not prone to projecting that outwards onto others. It doesn’t make sense to hate people just because they have something I don’t. Lust is definitely at the tail, probably because I can’t separate it from sexuality. I’ve never been one to desire things very strongly, except maybe if we’re talking in the realm of goals? The other three sins are virtually interchangeable.
4) Analyzing your relationships with others, briefly describe:
a) The type of people you are drawn to
I’m drawn to people that catch my interest I guess? I don’t think there’s any specific personality traits that I tend to be drawn to that I’m aware of, though I seem to be able to get closest with more relaxed/introverted individuals.
b) The kind of people who are drawn to you
That’s also somewhat of a mix, especially since I’m rather solitary and don’t interact as much as I should. Very dominant/loud people are often drawn to me because I’m easy to talk to/at and my personality sort of opposes theirs. More introverted/individualistic people are drawn to me as well because I seem far more interesting than I actually am and again, I’m easy to talk to.
c) The kind of people you are repulsed by
I am repulsed to very polarized individuals, especially those who are excessively emotional or excessively icy. Polarized individuals seem closed off to me and I’m not always sure how to deal with that. I have little patience for conversations about sentiment and those who only rely on their impulses, but at the same time am easily irritated by overly abrupt people who see compassion/empathy as only a weakness.
5)What are the traits in others that you admire but you cannot emulate yourself? Elaborate.
Probably the ability to be aware of and an active participant in the environment and organization. I’ve always admired people who could think linearly and behave systematically or managerially. Organization and detail orientation ties into this a lot as well, I am definitely in awe of of the power held by people who are as organized and direct as this. While I’ve pushed myself to be direct and organized, I’m fairly hopeless. When I try to do this, it always results in a “tunnel vision†sort of reaction where I focus excessively on one detail/task and completely forget something else that was equally important.
To elaborate on the first point, I’m very dissociated from my environment in general, partially due to being an excessive daydreamer and elsewise due to being relatively calculating and deliberate in the way I behave. I’ve worked to gain a general understanding of how people and things function in the environment so that I can predict and respond faster, but somehow this has managed to put me further from being an active participant.
6) Describe your relationship with the following:
a) Anger
Anger for me is all over the place. I’d consider myself a pretty angry person internally, mostly because I hold myself to high standards which I never hit. I’m also somewhat impatient and can get somewhat reactive outwardly with meaningless things. I keep my anger internal for the most part, because I fear that being outward about it will lead to a loss of control. I go for runs often to keep things at bay and rarely have any outbursts. People tend to think I’m relatively passive as a result.
b) Shame
Until recent years I didn’t really have a lot of difficulty with this one, but it’s definitely prominent now. I’m fairly insecure as a person and I’m incredibly self-depreciating. I’m very aware of my shortcomings and often loathe feeling behind everyone else or where I “should be†or because of weakness. I’m not the wallowing type though, I tend to use shame as a fuel towards the future and for my ambitions.
c) Fear
Fear plays a huge role in my life. Despite the beauty the world holds, I struggle to keep it’s pace and and in control. Being more on the cowardly side, I have a tendency to be pulled around by my fear rather than pushing through it. Additionally, I sort of struggle internally with my fear of others and fear of my internal tendencies, which has heavily shaped the way I persist and respond to things.
d) Love/passion
Both of these are sort of weird do me. I have a tendency to avoid feeling strongly about everything (maintaining control is important), so neither of these two things come easily. Recently, someone dear to me said they feared I was “too principled to feel love†which was super weird/sounds awful, but I don’t think it’s that far off unfortunately. There are very few things or people I could say I genuinely love, though I use the word feely when speaking of interests. Passion I haven’t been able to find outside of my passion for pursuing my goals.
e) Conflict
I see conflict as a necessary evil. I’m not typically one to initiate conflict unless it benefits someone outside of myself since extreme conflict tends to yield more good than bad. I’d rather work in the background to manipulate change than plow through things, though in the right situation I can become quite disagreeable. Generally speaking though, I’m somewhat evasive of it and fairly agreeable.
7) What are some of the themes that have played a prominent role in your life (ie. A struggle you’ve been unable to conquer, ect)?
Uhg I thought I answered all the questions and just noticed this was left over. Maybe I'll answer this tomorrow. [Note to self, this questionaire is long, perhaps excessively so]
8) Answer only one of the following:
a) [College aged and above] What is your area of work/study? Why did you choose this and would you change it? If so, what would be your ideal?
I’m studying to be a research scientist. I’m fairly decent and solving problems and am kind of creative so I think it’s a good enough fit. Additionally it’s something I’ve always wanted to pursue, so this is my “ideal†so to speak. If I was smart enough, I would have loved to be an astrophysicist just because space has no visible bounds, therefore is something I could learn new things about till the day I died. I’ve always been attracted to what I couldn’t fully characterize, but also I’m terrible at physics so I’ll probably settle for material science from the nanoscale.
Amusingly I picked nano on a whim. My cousin suggested the college because she hated it and the people there “reminded her of me.†Nonetheless it was a really good fit and the subject matter proved to be interesting after I applied.
9) When meeting a new person, what do you tend to focus on?
I tend to focus on trying to figure out who they are and how to generalize their behavior. I’m responsive by nature and somewhat insecure, so I find it helpful to try to gauge the way a person things and responds to things early on so I can respond accordingly and feel comfortable around them. The way a person thinks about things is also an interest of mine generally, so this is kind of just a natural focus. Despite not being the most outgoing person people wise, I really enjoy learning about people and their interests/experiences generally.
10) How do you feel about humanity as a whole? What do you feel are some of the biggest problems the human race faces and why?
As much as I try not to, I’m not a big fan of the human race. For the most part, people seem to be driven by self interest and preservation. Often times, consequence is ignored for the sake of what is more efficient or easiest acquired in the moment, which often leads to destructive results in the long run. Not that I’m much better of course. Of course there are exceptions to this. The biggest problem right now seems to be that we’re working towards our own self destruction at the moment (ie. environmental issues which we continue to ignore, destructive weapons in the hands of impulsive leaders ect.) Not that I’d be too disappointed if we wipe ourselves out, but taking the rest of the world with us would be quite a shame.
11) What are some of your hobbies and interests?
My hobbies are work and typology lol, I’m quite boring in that respect. When I’m not doing work though, I also enjoy art, music, and playing with ideas/story lines. I’m hoping the art/story line creation hobbies result in a comic one day, but I’m a busy person so maybe this will just be a fun thing to play around with. Nonetheless, art is very relaxing and when I do it correctly, it can be a means of creating focus and dispelling ideas. Music wise I sing (not publically) and play the trumpet and, while it brings me lots of stress, is quite enjoyable. Walking and hiking are also very nice things I frequent. I love ghibli stuff/art in gernal and terrible music.
13) How do you usually “hang out†with your friend(s)? When answering, think about what activities you tend to choose, whether you hang out with one person at once or many, whether or not you initiate the interaction.
I’m very responsive, so I’m more inclined to hang out with people when asked. In a college setting this basically means watching movies, going out for good food, and playing card games while other people make bad decisions. Not always my favorite type of interaction, but it can be fun (especially cards because it’s active). I’m also a huge fan of DnD, though I don’t get to frequent it. Outside of college, since my friends are more introverted than me, I’m usually more inclined to reach out. Often times, I’ll hang out with one person alone via food or hiking/walking. Outside of being a relatively boring person who doesn’t really know how else to interact with friends, I tend to avoid trips to the movies or pure activity so I can actually talk to the person.
14) What is more important, actions or words? Why?
Both are really important. I’m inclined to say words just because some people behave in ways they don’t want to in the moment due to anxiety, anger, and such, so actions and behavior aren’t always indicative of internal beliefs or actual personality. Words have that extra thought in them I guess, though saying you think something or want to do something is very different from actually doing things. Actions can be very revealing in that respect depending on their context.
15) Oh dear, you’ve been cursed by a witch! It’s ok though, you get a choice on which curse you will receive. Will you choose….
a) To never be able to experience the sensation of taste
b) To be immortal
c) To lose your memories
d) To be poor for the rest of your life
e) Or to never experience passion
Elaborate on why!
I might take the memory loss over all the rest. With a, despite my endless list of allergies food is one of the few things I actually enjoy and losing my sense of taste would probably drive me deeper into depression. B is the worst one on the list (even though people have said I’d make a good immortal). D doesn’t sound terrible, but being poor sounds like it’d be really uncomfortable and I’d probably get really frustrated if I couldn't change my disposition. With passion, I don’t really experience a lot of that, but it’d be really sad and boring if I never could actually. So memories, and I could live with that because a) I wouldn’t remember why it bothered me to loose them and b) the idea of starting life from scratch like that sounds sort of interesting. I have lots of ingrained habits that would be nice to loose and I’m not incredibly sentimental. Forgetting about those I’m close to or memories in general might destroy the little sense of self I have though, which could be really troublesome..
16) What do you hope to avoid being? If it helps, describe a person who embodies what you avoid/you as a villain, ect.
I avoid being unrestrained and someone who easily gives into their natural tendencies. I value control over the self a bit too much, and the idea of completely going by my own whims sounds like a really bad plan. I tend to demonize my natural tendencies too much because I fear becoming a “bad person†if such a thing exists and I can feel deep down some of my more problematic traits (ie. manipulativeness, elitism, ect.). I also avoid becoming completely disconnected because, as much as I’d like to and as easy as it would be for me to just ignore the world and others, I know it would make me closed minded and I’d block myself off from new things and knowledge.
17) How do you relate to obsession? Do you tend to "merge" with others or your interests? How do you feel about the idea of doing this?
I’m very evasive of obsession. Polarization and obsession make me feel as though I am closed off and blind to other ways of thinking, though I can become obsessed with interests at times I suppose (ie. typology, building my internal storylines/worlds ect). Merging in general sounds gross. I guess I’m not entirely sure how to describe myself outside of interests and goals, but if that’s all I was that’d be problematic. I tend to avoid intimacy with others due to being a fan of boundaries and fearing losing myself in something or someone else (I like to be a separate person). Recently though, I did realize I merged with a person pretty strongly, to the point where their existence influenced my goals and priorities and also I felt no need to really create and other relations with people. That’s gross though and I think it was somewhat unhealthy behavior, so I’ve distanced myself from that.
18) Organized or messy? Plans and blueprints or impulse and surprises? What are you preferences and tendencies?
I’m a mess, no doubt about it. I’m constantly losing everything I own and my mind is a cluster of ideas. I’m sort of in the center with the next point. I’m not driven by impulses and it’s difficult to maintain control when everything's unpredictable. Plans and blueprints are also super boring though when you can’t deviate. I’d say undetailed blueprints are the way I work.
19) How do you subjectively view comfort and how do you create comfort in your life and surroundings?
I view comfort via emotions rather than physically. I’m quick to ignore my physical body and states (outside of hunger and stuff) and I’m not one to take pleasure in “pleasures†like indulgent foods or super comfortable environments in a traditional sense. I do place a huge amount of importance on mental comfort however, relieving and avoiding internal tension when I can. I have a tendency to stick to my comfort zone in that sense.
[I]a) What is your age range and general location (Country so that cultural values can be taken into account)? Do you have any impairments that may affect the way that you answer this questionnaire? Any religious or political beliefs that also might have an effect? [/I]
I’m an American college student. My mental health is sort of a mess, not sure to what degree that’ll affect my responses. I don’t place enough value in my religious or political standing for it to affect my personality.
b) Which types are you currently considering? Why are you considering them and why haven’t you decided on one?
I’m pretty certain I’m somewhere in the xNxP range. I’ve been typing as ENFP for awhile now but it’s still very difficult to see myself within the range of Fi (or any of the judging functions for that matter). I’m almost positive I’m high Ne, that’s the only thing that seems to make sense in context of my personality. I’ve considered high grade Si types as well, but others have responded pretty strongly against that.
Eenneagram wise, I’ve settled loosely on the 136 tritype. 9 has been thrown around a lot. I see myself more in 1, but a 9 fix isn’t improbable. A low grade four fix has also been thrown out there time and time again. I’ve been going with 6w5 core for awhile now. It doesn’t fit perfectly, but nothing really does and I am human doubt ™ ,so it’s probably right. With IV I always figured sp/so or at least sx blind, but recent analysis has lead me to believe that I might use sx?
Socionics wise I have no clue, and this probably won’t be revealing. Se polR probably.
2) What do you deem as your purpose in life?
While I don’t really deem people as having intrinsic purposes outside of what they or their environment make it, I suppose my purpose in life has been to pursue my goals, gain satisfaction, and to help the ones dear to me. They’ve stayed consistent most of my life, though the satisfaction part is fairly new. My goals, which are both career based and based on solving a life problem of mine (as it relates to my last point), have always been top priority, and I desire to be successful in a way that pleases me and happily situated in a career that allows me to continue learning new things and developing myself till I die. Satisfaction is a given I suppose. The last one has sort of been pushed on me, but I’ve sort of taken it upon myself to solve problems and incite change where I see fit for myself and a select few.
3) Of the seven deadly sins, which one(s) do you relate to the most and the least and why?
In order I’d say Greed > Pride > Sloth/Gluttony > Wrath > Envy > Lust
While I don’t think it shows all the time, greed and pride are definitely my top two sins. For one thing, I hate spending and wasting money on just about anything. While I’ve pushed myself in the opposite direction, I have a strong tendency towards hoarding and will avoid sharing and resources or my own things when I can. Pride wise, despite coming off fairly humble and self depreciating to most, I have a fairly large ego. At my worst, I overestimate my intellectual abilities and I’m shocked it doesn’t show. I put greed above it just because I’m pretty quick to acknowledge my flaws and have a self depreciating edge.
On the low side is envy and lust. Until I got into college, I don’t think I actually felt much envy at all. While I wouldn’t consider things satisfactory and often desire better things for myself, I’m not prone to projecting that outwards onto others. It doesn’t make sense to hate people just because they have something I don’t. Lust is definitely at the tail, probably because I can’t separate it from sexuality. I’ve never been one to desire things very strongly, except maybe if we’re talking in the realm of goals? The other three sins are virtually interchangeable.
4) Analyzing your relationships with others, briefly describe:
a) The type of people you are drawn to
I’m drawn to people that catch my interest I guess? I don’t think there’s any specific personality traits that I tend to be drawn to that I’m aware of, though I seem to be able to get closest with more relaxed/introverted individuals.
b) The kind of people who are drawn to you
That’s also somewhat of a mix, especially since I’m rather solitary and don’t interact as much as I should. Very dominant/loud people are often drawn to me because I’m easy to talk to/at and my personality sort of opposes theirs. More introverted/individualistic people are drawn to me as well because I seem far more interesting than I actually am and again, I’m easy to talk to.
c) The kind of people you are repulsed by
I am repulsed to very polarized individuals, especially those who are excessively emotional or excessively icy. Polarized individuals seem closed off to me and I’m not always sure how to deal with that. I have little patience for conversations about sentiment and those who only rely on their impulses, but at the same time am easily irritated by overly abrupt people who see compassion/empathy as only a weakness.
5)What are the traits in others that you admire but you cannot emulate yourself? Elaborate.
Probably the ability to be aware of and an active participant in the environment and organization. I’ve always admired people who could think linearly and behave systematically or managerially. Organization and detail orientation ties into this a lot as well, I am definitely in awe of of the power held by people who are as organized and direct as this. While I’ve pushed myself to be direct and organized, I’m fairly hopeless. When I try to do this, it always results in a “tunnel vision†sort of reaction where I focus excessively on one detail/task and completely forget something else that was equally important.
To elaborate on the first point, I’m very dissociated from my environment in general, partially due to being an excessive daydreamer and elsewise due to being relatively calculating and deliberate in the way I behave. I’ve worked to gain a general understanding of how people and things function in the environment so that I can predict and respond faster, but somehow this has managed to put me further from being an active participant.
6) Describe your relationship with the following:
a) Anger
Anger for me is all over the place. I’d consider myself a pretty angry person internally, mostly because I hold myself to high standards which I never hit. I’m also somewhat impatient and can get somewhat reactive outwardly with meaningless things. I keep my anger internal for the most part, because I fear that being outward about it will lead to a loss of control. I go for runs often to keep things at bay and rarely have any outbursts. People tend to think I’m relatively passive as a result.
b) Shame
Until recent years I didn’t really have a lot of difficulty with this one, but it’s definitely prominent now. I’m fairly insecure as a person and I’m incredibly self-depreciating. I’m very aware of my shortcomings and often loathe feeling behind everyone else or where I “should be†or because of weakness. I’m not the wallowing type though, I tend to use shame as a fuel towards the future and for my ambitions.
c) Fear
Fear plays a huge role in my life. Despite the beauty the world holds, I struggle to keep it’s pace and and in control. Being more on the cowardly side, I have a tendency to be pulled around by my fear rather than pushing through it. Additionally, I sort of struggle internally with my fear of others and fear of my internal tendencies, which has heavily shaped the way I persist and respond to things.
d) Love/passion
Both of these are sort of weird do me. I have a tendency to avoid feeling strongly about everything (maintaining control is important), so neither of these two things come easily. Recently, someone dear to me said they feared I was “too principled to feel love†which was super weird/sounds awful, but I don’t think it’s that far off unfortunately. There are very few things or people I could say I genuinely love, though I use the word feely when speaking of interests. Passion I haven’t been able to find outside of my passion for pursuing my goals.
e) Conflict
I see conflict as a necessary evil. I’m not typically one to initiate conflict unless it benefits someone outside of myself since extreme conflict tends to yield more good than bad. I’d rather work in the background to manipulate change than plow through things, though in the right situation I can become quite disagreeable. Generally speaking though, I’m somewhat evasive of it and fairly agreeable.
7) What are some of the themes that have played a prominent role in your life (ie. A struggle you’ve been unable to conquer, ect)?
Uhg I thought I answered all the questions and just noticed this was left over. Maybe I'll answer this tomorrow. [Note to self, this questionaire is long, perhaps excessively so]
8) Answer only one of the following:
a) [College aged and above] What is your area of work/study? Why did you choose this and would you change it? If so, what would be your ideal?
I’m studying to be a research scientist. I’m fairly decent and solving problems and am kind of creative so I think it’s a good enough fit. Additionally it’s something I’ve always wanted to pursue, so this is my “ideal†so to speak. If I was smart enough, I would have loved to be an astrophysicist just because space has no visible bounds, therefore is something I could learn new things about till the day I died. I’ve always been attracted to what I couldn’t fully characterize, but also I’m terrible at physics so I’ll probably settle for material science from the nanoscale.
Amusingly I picked nano on a whim. My cousin suggested the college because she hated it and the people there “reminded her of me.†Nonetheless it was a really good fit and the subject matter proved to be interesting after I applied.
9) When meeting a new person, what do you tend to focus on?
I tend to focus on trying to figure out who they are and how to generalize their behavior. I’m responsive by nature and somewhat insecure, so I find it helpful to try to gauge the way a person things and responds to things early on so I can respond accordingly and feel comfortable around them. The way a person thinks about things is also an interest of mine generally, so this is kind of just a natural focus. Despite not being the most outgoing person people wise, I really enjoy learning about people and their interests/experiences generally.
10) How do you feel about humanity as a whole? What do you feel are some of the biggest problems the human race faces and why?
As much as I try not to, I’m not a big fan of the human race. For the most part, people seem to be driven by self interest and preservation. Often times, consequence is ignored for the sake of what is more efficient or easiest acquired in the moment, which often leads to destructive results in the long run. Not that I’m much better of course. Of course there are exceptions to this. The biggest problem right now seems to be that we’re working towards our own self destruction at the moment (ie. environmental issues which we continue to ignore, destructive weapons in the hands of impulsive leaders ect.) Not that I’d be too disappointed if we wipe ourselves out, but taking the rest of the world with us would be quite a shame.
11) What are some of your hobbies and interests?
My hobbies are work and typology lol, I’m quite boring in that respect. When I’m not doing work though, I also enjoy art, music, and playing with ideas/story lines. I’m hoping the art/story line creation hobbies result in a comic one day, but I’m a busy person so maybe this will just be a fun thing to play around with. Nonetheless, art is very relaxing and when I do it correctly, it can be a means of creating focus and dispelling ideas. Music wise I sing (not publically) and play the trumpet and, while it brings me lots of stress, is quite enjoyable. Walking and hiking are also very nice things I frequent. I love ghibli stuff/art in gernal and terrible music.
13) How do you usually “hang out†with your friend(s)? When answering, think about what activities you tend to choose, whether you hang out with one person at once or many, whether or not you initiate the interaction.
I’m very responsive, so I’m more inclined to hang out with people when asked. In a college setting this basically means watching movies, going out for good food, and playing card games while other people make bad decisions. Not always my favorite type of interaction, but it can be fun (especially cards because it’s active). I’m also a huge fan of DnD, though I don’t get to frequent it. Outside of college, since my friends are more introverted than me, I’m usually more inclined to reach out. Often times, I’ll hang out with one person alone via food or hiking/walking. Outside of being a relatively boring person who doesn’t really know how else to interact with friends, I tend to avoid trips to the movies or pure activity so I can actually talk to the person.
14) What is more important, actions or words? Why?
Both are really important. I’m inclined to say words just because some people behave in ways they don’t want to in the moment due to anxiety, anger, and such, so actions and behavior aren’t always indicative of internal beliefs or actual personality. Words have that extra thought in them I guess, though saying you think something or want to do something is very different from actually doing things. Actions can be very revealing in that respect depending on their context.
15) Oh dear, you’ve been cursed by a witch! It’s ok though, you get a choice on which curse you will receive. Will you choose….
a) To never be able to experience the sensation of taste
b) To be immortal
c) To lose your memories
d) To be poor for the rest of your life
e) Or to never experience passion
Elaborate on why!
I might take the memory loss over all the rest. With a, despite my endless list of allergies food is one of the few things I actually enjoy and losing my sense of taste would probably drive me deeper into depression. B is the worst one on the list (even though people have said I’d make a good immortal). D doesn’t sound terrible, but being poor sounds like it’d be really uncomfortable and I’d probably get really frustrated if I couldn't change my disposition. With passion, I don’t really experience a lot of that, but it’d be really sad and boring if I never could actually. So memories, and I could live with that because a) I wouldn’t remember why it bothered me to loose them and b) the idea of starting life from scratch like that sounds sort of interesting. I have lots of ingrained habits that would be nice to loose and I’m not incredibly sentimental. Forgetting about those I’m close to or memories in general might destroy the little sense of self I have though, which could be really troublesome..
16) What do you hope to avoid being? If it helps, describe a person who embodies what you avoid/you as a villain, ect.
I avoid being unrestrained and someone who easily gives into their natural tendencies. I value control over the self a bit too much, and the idea of completely going by my own whims sounds like a really bad plan. I tend to demonize my natural tendencies too much because I fear becoming a “bad person†if such a thing exists and I can feel deep down some of my more problematic traits (ie. manipulativeness, elitism, ect.). I also avoid becoming completely disconnected because, as much as I’d like to and as easy as it would be for me to just ignore the world and others, I know it would make me closed minded and I’d block myself off from new things and knowledge.
17) How do you relate to obsession? Do you tend to "merge" with others or your interests? How do you feel about the idea of doing this?
I’m very evasive of obsession. Polarization and obsession make me feel as though I am closed off and blind to other ways of thinking, though I can become obsessed with interests at times I suppose (ie. typology, building my internal storylines/worlds ect). Merging in general sounds gross. I guess I’m not entirely sure how to describe myself outside of interests and goals, but if that’s all I was that’d be problematic. I tend to avoid intimacy with others due to being a fan of boundaries and fearing losing myself in something or someone else (I like to be a separate person). Recently though, I did realize I merged with a person pretty strongly, to the point where their existence influenced my goals and priorities and also I felt no need to really create and other relations with people. That’s gross though and I think it was somewhat unhealthy behavior, so I’ve distanced myself from that.
18) Organized or messy? Plans and blueprints or impulse and surprises? What are you preferences and tendencies?
I’m a mess, no doubt about it. I’m constantly losing everything I own and my mind is a cluster of ideas. I’m sort of in the center with the next point. I’m not driven by impulses and it’s difficult to maintain control when everything's unpredictable. Plans and blueprints are also super boring though when you can’t deviate. I’d say undetailed blueprints are the way I work.
19) How do you subjectively view comfort and how do you create comfort in your life and surroundings?
I view comfort via emotions rather than physically. I’m quick to ignore my physical body and states (outside of hunger and stuff) and I’m not one to take pleasure in “pleasures†like indulgent foods or super comfortable environments in a traditional sense. I do place a huge amount of importance on mental comfort however, relieving and avoiding internal tension when I can. I have a tendency to stick to my comfort zone in that sense.