[MBTI General] Older ISTPs being a good match for an INFP?

[spacecadette]

My boyfriend and I have 26 years between us. We are different in a lot of ways but at the same time we both feel very comfortable with each other, like "home". Our personalities really balance out. We're soul mates, basically, that's how it seems, and he uses that term himself despite being a very down-to-earth ISTP. I'm an INFP, though I'm pretty much 50/50 between S and N, so the ISFP description fits me pretty well too.

Recently, he took the MBTI and came out as ISTP (slightly Introverted, moderately Sensing, very expressed Thinking, slightly Perceiving). It fits him really well but some parts of it are a bit disconcerting.

I've always been an "old soul" and I tend to feel old with guys my own age or even a little bit older than me but at the same time I am very much a kid (the classic INFP personality I guess). He's the same way, not jaded like most older people, and very youthful at the same time in his being very genuine like me but he is responsible and very calm and relaxed about life, except when it comes to his duties, so he is mature.

I just want to know from any ISTPs and anyone who has any experiences with older ISTPs and whether you thought that with age, they become more philosophical, tender, etc. I know ISTP is supposed to be an "Enigma" for iNFP and vice-versa, but he really isn't. He says he can read me like a book (but then I don't like to argue with him so I don't try and make it tough for him) and communication tends only to break down whenever we have to be apart for long periods of time, especially when we can't just ring one another up and email/texting is the only option (I know, texting's rarely a good option)

I wonder if maybe, as ISTPs age, they become more open to the world of possibilities and more in touch with their spiritual path. I've asked him what he was like when he was younger, if he was much different. He said he was probably more sure of himself, more aggressive, (more of a total dick I guess ), and more spontaneous.

 

["?"]

I have mellowed out a lot since my college days. I think the spirtuality is necessary for ISTPs. In fact there are facts to show that ISTPs with INFJs are two of the top three types that need spirituality. Contrary to belief Se does not come easy for ISTPs anymore than all types using their auxiliary. It has to be developed otherwise Ti will be constantly used and the Se used defensively. Becoming open to the world is Se at it's finest for ISTPs. BTW there is an old rule of thumb that the best mate for a male is someone half their age plus seven years. So your 26 years could be idea if you are older.

 

[alicia91]

BTW there is an old rule of thumb that the best mate for a male is someone half their age plus seven years

Hmm...I wonder if a male or female came up with that one?

I will say that I've become more spiritual (actually it's one of my current big interests). Philosophical, what's that? haha - like sitting around and discussing philosophy? no, but I will discuss specific issues. Tender? No. I'm just not very outgoing about my feelings even though I feel it on the inside (maybe). But then I married an ENTJ who has less tenderness than me!

 

[heart]

If things are working for you and you are happy, why worry about what others think?

 

[murkrow]

Why did I open an SP post...

 

[Jeffster]

Why did I open an SP post...

Because we're awesome.

 

[spacecadette]

If things are working for you and you are happy, why worry about what others think?

Oh, because it's long distance at the moment (I had to leave his country as my visa ran out) and will have to be for a few years. So there's a bit of insecurity there just because of that.

 

[istpunk]

Did you have a bad father relationship when you were young or lack a father relationship?

 

[spacecadette]

Did you have a bad father relationship when you were young or lack a father relationship?

haha, I know that's probably what all the resident psychologists would be thinking. But no, my Dad and I always got along great and bonded and still do to today. Paul is nothing like my father except for the traits I admire in him most, his sense of duty and his all around good soul, and his calmness. The similarities stop there though. Paul and I have an intense sexual connection where for once I feel on the same wavelength oddly enough.

Anyway, this isn't totally about my relationship.. I did kind of want to talk about the subject of INFP vs. ISTP relationships, not age gaps, and not mine specifically really.

 

[Windigo]

ISTPs really open up and show their love when they trust that their mate accepts them and isn't expecting more from them than they WANT to give at the moment. Having open options and a sense of independence is what is most important to them. They are also drawn to people with integrity and courage. They aren't as romantic as other types but show their love through acts of service.

They also do seem to get more spiritual and questing for truth as they get older. My ISTP just brought home Terry Gilliam's The Adventures of Baron Von Munchhausen . . . which was a surprise to me. Now lets see if he'll actually sit through it!

 

[jixmixfix]

ISTPs really open up and show their love when they trust that their mate accepts them and isn't expecting more from them than they WANT to give at the moment. Having open options and a sense of independence is what is most important to them. They are also drawn to people with integrity and courage. They aren't as romantic as other types but show their love through acts of service.

They also do seem to get more spiritual and questing for truth as they get older. My ISTP just brought home Terry Gilliam's The Adventures of Baron Von Munchhausen . . . which was a surprise to me. Now lets see if he'll actually sit through it!

I found I become more philosphical in my teenage years and more Se towards my late teens/adult years.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

The older I get the less I need logic to dictate why I should or should not feel a certain way. Just kind of realize some things don't make sense and just go with it.

 

[Windigo]

I found I become more philosphical in my teenage years and more Se towards my late teens/adult years.

I guess I'm thinking of my ISTP who is now in his late 40s. He was rather philosophical when he was in his teens and then became more interested in working/playing hard through out his 20s. Began to desire to settle down in his 30s and now is really opening up to more spiritual/philosophical discussions than he used to with me.

I'm beginnning to realize that he has really good discernment/intuition. I used to demand a logical line of reasoning for every life decision we made together, but now I'm realizing that although he cannot always articulate a "reasonable" argument for/against an idea, we're usually better off if I just go with his "gut" instinct about something.