Forever
Permabanned
- Joined
- Aug 30, 2013
- Messages
- 8,550
- MBTI Type
- NiFi
- Enneagram
- 3w4
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/so
My agender friend likes to go by "they." Unfortunately they cannot avoid being visually gendered because people will always see others as being either male or female, despite the fact that if they had any control over it, my friend would like to not be gendered at all. Yes, they're born with one set of genitals or the other, but they don't like being socially defined as either category.
Yes, I am 21lux. And being transgender is a huge part of that identity. It's a huge part of what makes me 21lux. For those who are cis it might not be as important, but for me it is, because of all of the confusion and fighting I have had to do, and continue to have to do, just to feel comfortable with myself in my own body. Part of gender is biological, and part of it is a social construct--nature and nurture both play a part in all of us.
Due to the world and society we live in, people are gendered. People are labelled as "he" and "she." Unfortunately, it is too idealistic to think that this is going to change anytime soon, if ever. I doubt we can ever eliminate gender and see everyone as androgynous. So for all that it's worth, being able to use male pronouns and be seen as a guy is very important to me and it is a part of my core self, part of what makes me the one and only 21lux. I want others to see me this way and refer to me this way, too.
Intersexed people vary regarding gender identity. A lot of children are born with ambiguous genitalia and nowadays parents are usually informed, but 40, 50 years ago? No one was. The doctors would use different standards of measurement to determine whether the genitalia was a "micropenis" or an "offensively large clitoris" (those are the medical terms) and perform surgery (almost ALWAYS without telling the parents and getting consent, up until recently) to make the child's sex more "socially appropriate." And many of these children would grow up feeling wrong or confused, and then one day go to a doctor and find out, "oh my god, I was born like that, that explains so much and I've always felt this way but didn't understand why and now I know!"
Individual meaning is part of it, but my social identity and being seen the way I want to be seen is a part of that too.
Very, very true.
I think the fact you care about being part of a role to fulfill makes you very ISxJ.