Np, reminds me of a thread about an INTJ doing something similiar. I am super crazy busy...so may not respond quickly later...lol. Couldn't help myself
Haha love that you did that!
okay want to tag [MENTION=5223]MDP2525[/MENTION] in case she would like the back story as well.
So we met in person in June, we had met on a dating site. We met downtown at a place called sun dance square. We met at around 530 and did not depart until 1 in the morning, it genuinely was the best time of my life and he agreed it was very fun for him as well. We clicked instantly and he wanted to see me the next night so we hung out then as well. On our third date I asked when we were going out again, he said Friday, but did not give me a time or a place to meet. I was okay with that until Friday 530 pm came along and I had not heard from him, so I texted and ask what time and where was I meeting him and did not hear from him well at 730 I contacted a friend and decided to go out with them I texted him that and at 830 he texted and said "oh we can still hang out, there is still time", my issue was he could have communicated that earlier. I don't mind hanging out late but let me know, don't leave me hanging. So I went out with my friend instead and he texts "what am I supposed to do now go home and feel sad", I said that is up to you, but are you going to make it up to me. He said he would take me out the next night, I said okay but please give me a time I can meet him at his house. We went out and after that continued to date, but I look back and notice I was always the once asking when we would hang out, I did not see this as bad back then because I am an extrovert and he is an introvert. I caught him in 3 big lies and called him out on them and of course had an explanation, I made it clear I abhor lying. I told him not matter what be honest with me and I will be willing to work through anything. He also has an obsession with disc golf (Frisbee golf), I asked 4 different times was disc golf more important than me and all 4 times he said yes. Then towards the end of our relationship I asked will I ever come before disc gold he "Candy, don't ask me difficult questions, this early in the morning." I thought okay there my answer, but at the time I was like okay I will try to deal with that. I never had issues with him having that hobby, but he always put it above me. Now I have trust and insecurity issues, because I had a very traumatic childhood and was abused in every way you could think of, which he knew some of the history I told him. So I am by far not perfect and in October I had a miscarriage, and told him, he actually said he thought it was his fault, I took a lot of time to comfort and let him know it was not his fault. Then came the holidays which are hard for me, my aunt died November 2013, then my grandmother who raised me died that December, then the next month in January my mom died. So I with all of that I was a little sensitive, so I allowed a lot of emotional abuse on his end because of where I was emotionally. January is my birthday month and he did not even take me out until 12 days after when I asked him to and he said I was selfish for asking. I felt horrible and thought maybe I was being selfish, but then he kept being rude about it. There were so many other stories. But what made me break up with him was when he kept making excuses not to see me, would not take my calls, nor respond to my texts. So I took his stuff to his house and put it on his door, then texted him I did so, he finally contacted me and told me thanks. I asked did he want it to end he said he thought so, I then asked why did he not man up and end himself, he did not respond.
There is so much more but I typed a lot already, so I believe that is the gist of it. He is a good guy with some great qualities, but us together seems to be toxic. So after typing this, doing more reflection, and talking with my dad, who is one of the most laid back people and very objective(but he was pissed hearing the story, and told me this man messed with my mind), I realize it is not a good idea in anyway to get back with this man. Now realize you are only my side of the story, so I am sure his side is different. My room mate could not believe he called me pushy, she said I am the most gentle person she knows, I explained to her I did get pushy with him because I felt like I had to be with him. But I hated every minuted of having to be pushy that is not me naturally. Oh since the miscarriage I have had some severe female issues I have to have surgery Tuesday, I actually am taking off tomorrow for my pre-operation appointments. I reminded him, but he has not offered to be there for me, he wants to know how it went but he did not even go with me when I had to go to the hospital after miscarriage, but a close friend from London and one from DC made sure to call me during that time and checked on me several times that day, he did not. I understand I allowed this to happen so it is mainly fault for that reason and for me to have the audacity to want him back, I have lost my mind. I can and should forgive him, but I do not have to have him back in my life.
Sorry so much, and there was so much I left out. Thanks guys for your advice and letting me vent!
My dad already let me have it for allowing myself to be treated like this. He said you used to speak up, what happened? I copped out and sung "Magic man" by Hart, instead of Mama I sung "dad try to understand , try to understand he is magic man" lol. I am glad my dad has the same sense of humor as me.
