[ISTJ] ENTJ + ISTJ BEST Sexual Chemistry?

[Yama]

 

[JClassic]

What kind of man wants a submissive obedient wife? A weak one.

I found the most stubborn strong willed woman I ever met, because I wanted an equal, a partner, someone I couldn't dominate with my will.

That it got screwed up because of our mutual childhood issues doesn't mean goal was bad. Hopefully, we both can survive midlife transformation and our messed up family and reap the rewards one day.....

Lol, last statement screams the F in ENFJ.

 

[Cimarron]

Hmm, interesting thoughts, and I'm not sure how I would respond on some of this, but I will say one thing:

In a personal relationship, no one is going to get me to be submissive to them by proving how strong and powerful they are. Arrogance and pushiness will guarantee that I have no time for you.

 

[Null]

Kinda confused how this is related to fulfilling your duty at all. I doubt sexually submissive people are like that out of responsibility.

 

[PeaceBaby]

Any insight on this?

If you are trying to find a sub using typology, the enneagram is a better place to look.

 

[ceecee]

If you are trying to find a sub using typology, the enneagram is a better place to look.

I thought that as well.

 

[existence]

I dated an ISTJ before and noticed that they are very submissive. They are duty fulfillers so will naturally do what the ENTJ wants (50 Shades Of Gray Type deal). This is highly attractive for the ENTJ and noticed that ISTJ we have the best sexual chemistry. Any insight on this?

In my experience, ENTJ is cool to be with but it's constant power fights. I'm not the submissive type at all. It's good tho' with the fights as it ensures it's not boring, heh.

Not that I view myself as a duty fulfiller either. I'm only ISTJ by the dichotomies.

"Depends completely on the individuals involved"

I disagree, thats like saying ENTJ's aren't dominant but depends on them. All ISTJ's and ISFJ's tend to be more submissive, but the method of convincing them to do what you want will be different. For example, with the ISFJ you have to appeal to their emotions like I will pretend to cry and they will cave in (like pretend to cry, lol). The ISTJ you have to give them facts, and concrete evidence why you should be intimate with them. True story.

Lol what on earth do you mean by concrete evidence about why I should be intimate with a guy? Please give an example of this sort of reasoning, I'm really curious lol.

 

[JClassic]

In my experience, ENTJ is cool to be with but it's constant power fights. I'm not the submissive type at all. It's good tho' with the fights as it ensures it's not boring, heh.

Not that I view myself as a duty fulfiller either. I'm only ISTJ by the dichotomies.




Lol what on earth do you mean by concrete evidence about why I should be intimate with a guy? Please give an example of this sort of reasoning, I'm really curious lol.

I told my ISTJ girlfriend that sex prolongs the life of men, and that men are more successful when they get more sex from their girlfriends. I showed her facts from online and statistics backing up my claim. After that we had sex everyday around 8pm when it best fit her busy schedule,

 

[Kullervo]

I can see how this relationship could work for some people.

However, I am not romantically inclined toward ISTJs or Sensors in general. Our differences in information processing frustrate me even in casual interactions. The fabled NT x NF coupling produces great sexual chemistry, and the mutual understanding the partners have contributes to this.

I have always been fascinated by INFJs, and Enneagram cp6s in particular (the "Byronic hero" personality). Their moods shift a lot and unlike a lot of people I don't mind that. I find emotional extremes pleasurable.

 

[Riva]

Actually from what I have noticed, ISTJs are one of the most independent types. They are not verbally dominant, and seem passive at times. But despite their appearance they are not push overs and definitely wouldn't allow people to dominate them.

I would imagine an ISTJ would make a good spouse. Committed, responsible, honest etc and are good home makers (both males and females alike).

 

[Jaguar]

An ENTJ pretending to cry and ISTJs being more submissive. Well, I had my laugh for the day.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

Not into BDSM, but into dating a real women. I know I originally said sexual chemistry, but I am also attracted to that type of personality. Just howyou like a man who kind of takes initiative and is a "man" in your definition. Because you seek this dominant, or proactive guy doesn't mean your into BDSM. Nor does it mean your into BDSM when you want a guy to take control in the bedroom. Thats dominant, not BDSM. There seems to be a lack of women these days, submissive women are the pillars of all great men. This is what I am looking for, I know I mentioned sexual chemistry but a submissive attitude is an all encompassing personality.

While there is nothing wrong with traditional roles, if this desire to have a submissive partner is paramount and supersedes the traits of the individual you are attracted to, then you are falling more in love with an idea than the person.

So yes, it would be difficult to find because it doesn't exist in absolutes. Something to think about.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

Okie dokie then. BDSM encompasses much more than the narrow definition you are presenting here. You can find real people who are submissive across the board, that is their personality, what they identify with. Not as a fetish or a set of activity. Male led, domestic discipline, submissive wives...this sort of thing. Those all fall under the BDSM umbrella. Stop talking about it like it's some kind of extreme lifestyle choice, it's exactly what you're looking for, going by your posts..

I do find it interesting that there seems to be a glut of men looking for these types of women all of a sudden around here.

You're right. But I hate to even bring people like this into BDSM. They make very bad Doms. Selfish Doms who never do the homework needed to understand their role. To be a good Dom, you need to have empathy. Or at least, felt a cane swat themselves for learning purposes. You can't have your ego wrapped up so tightly in that role that your pride gets in the way of knowledge and improvement.

 

[existence]

I told my ISTJ girlfriend that sex prolongs the life of men, and that men are more successful when they get more sex from their girlfriends. I showed her facts from online and statistics backing up my claim. After that we had sex everyday around 8pm when it best fit her busy schedule,

Thanks for the laugh.

Yeah, hard to imagine this transpiring in real life

 

[existence]

While there is nothing wrong with traditional roles, if this desire to have a submissive partner is paramount and supersedes the traits of the individual you are attracted to, then you are falling more in love with an idea than the person.

So yes, it would be difficult to find because it doesn't exist in absolutes. Something to think about.

Submissiveness is a trait just like any other trait of the individual, no?

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

Submissiveness is a trait just like any other trait of the individual, no?

Different context. Stubbornness is a trait but if you look for that trait and hold that above all others, it is a one-dimensional view of that person. People are more than one trait and rarely can they exhibit it consistently in their attitude and demeanor with everything. If they do, they aren't very healthy and wouldn't be a healthy partner.

So OP says it is difficult to find. Maybe he is viewing that trait as the holy grail. An absolute. When it may be better found by defining what submissiveness means for him and his partner. Someone happy to defer financial decisions to him? Someone who prefers to play the traditional housewife role? Ultimately both parties need to agree with those roles and desire the terms. Otherwise it doesn't work.

 

[miss fortune]

Weaker men have to find submissive, strong men create submissive...lmao

Also the theory that those who are dominant have a desire to be dominated. They really want to release control, they just need a special someone. So they spend their life dominating other until they find that person that puts them in thier place...lol

Or a submissive who is like...your not doing it right damnit...do this and this. Control me like I want to be controlled...lmao

All the different flavors of dom personality wise.

come on... you know that a really confident man is perfectly willing to just sit back and let his partner take control of the entire thing

 

[ceecee]

You're right. But I hate to even bring people like this into BDSM. They make very bad Doms. Selfish Doms who never do the homework needed to understand their role. To be a good Dom, you need to have empathy. Or at least, felt a cane swat themselves for learning purposes. You can't have your ego wrapped up so tightly in that role that your pride gets in the way of knowledge and improvement.

No I agree, I wouldn't want a person like this getting into the scene. Those people are awesome and interested in learning. Plus some dommes would want to beat him with a boot heel.

 

[grey_beard]

If you are trying to find a sub using typology, the enneagram is a better place to look.

a) you've piqued my curiosity
b) I respect your insights.

What Enneagram / stacking do you consider to be the most "submissive" among women? Both in general for a relationship, and (considered separately) sexually?

I have my own particular suspicions based on anecdotal data, and would like an independent cross-check...

 

[grey_beard]

You're right. But I hate to even bring people like this into BDSM. They make very bad Doms. Selfish Doms who never do the homework needed to understand their role. To be a good Dom, you need to have empathy. Or at least, felt a cane swat themselves for learning purposes. You can't have your ego wrapped up so tightly in that role that your pride gets in the way of knowledge and improvement.

I have absolutely no idea why, but that line reminded me of the following Calvin and Hobbes strip:

http://assets.amuniversal.com/ebc7bb40deb701317193005056a9545d