[Type 4] Fantasizing about emotional pain

[senza tema]

Does anyone else do it? Why is it so fun?

 

[Qlip]

I do it, it is satisfying on a level, but I don't know that I do it for fun. I usually perceive it as a way of exploring how I feel about life, imagining the darker corners of it.

 

[/DG/]

Weird. I used to fantasize about physical and emotional pain.

 

[senza tema]

I do it, it is satisfying on a level, but I don't know that I do it for fun. I usually perceive it as a way of exploring how I feel about life, imagining the darker corners of it.

I'm trying to figure out if this is true for me. I think maybe I would feel happier about it if it were true because at least it would be worth ... something? But to be honest, I'm not sure my reasons are anything as worthy as that. I create and cultivate fictional pain for myself because it's ... fun.

I had a very bad dream last night and then spent the whole morning building on that dream world and the sense of betrayal and loss I'd felt in it. And even while I was letting myself sink deeper and deeper into that fantasy, building it up and embellishing it brick by brick, nurturing pain and anger, a part of me was going "This is crazy and stupid." And this always happens but I don't want to stop because fantasizing about pain and grief and anger are satisfying. They're fun. They make life beautiful. I'm not really exploring how I feel about life because I already know how I feel about life. I'm just ... I don't actually know what I'm doing, actually, but I'm trying to make myself believe that it's maybe not a good idea, because in the last 28 years, I can't remember a single fantasy that was wholeheartedly, unabashedly positive.

 

[senza tema]

Weird. I used to fantasize about physical and emotional pain.

I fantasize about physical pain too but not to the same extent.

 

[laurapants08]

Sometimes I do it in preparation, what I'm preparing for I don't know. I've always been strange in that way. I write often, sometimes I think I'm using my own psyche as a storyboard. If I can prompt certain emotions in myself through fantasy it's possoible I could tap into those same emotions once I develop readers. I know my artwork has capture attention of people thus far. But it's time to start complying my writings

Tangent alert.

 

[HongDou]

I do it, it is satisfying on a level, but I don't know that I do it for fun. I usually perceive it as a way of exploring how I feel about life, imagining the darker corners of it.

I'm a little similar. I like to imagine how I'd act in certain situations - how to properly communicate my POV (because I suck at actually putting how I feel into word form), what I'd say to other people, what situations would lead to the next, etc. But then also it's fun to just imagine a more dramatic life. I love the cheesy and overhyped Grey's Anatomy-esque monologues. When I have moments like that I usually never forget them because the drama is just so intriguing.

I guess I just love to fantasize about drama, which includes pain a lot of the time. Ironically I also despise overdramatic people (especially because my school is overrun with theater kids). So it's really mostly fantasy where I love it because my life usually never elicits dramatic reaction from me. When dramatic moments happen naturally though I eat it up! OTOH people say I'm very sensitive so maybe it does leak over into my actual emotional life.

 

[Opal]

Sometimes I do it in preparation

I do, for this reason. In my head I simulate removing parts of my life and allow myself to experience the pain of their loss (or the lack thereof). It puts things in perspective.

 

[Gawain]

I do it by accident a lot. I always just assumed it was my 5 wing taking over, because I always end up running through negative scenarios for all sorts of things (physical, emotional, and mental) like it will somehow help me react the way I want to if I'm already prepared for all possibilities. And while it's fun, I'm not sure that it's more fun than other sorts of learning and preparing. I don't really consider the positive outcomes, because there's nothing to prepare for if everything goes well. I can just relax and enjoy success when it happens.

 

[Riva]

Shit i typed something and it didnt get saved.

When you are going through emotional pain for a long time your body PROBABLY releases hormones. The longer the pain the longer the hormonal development.

Then you pass that emotional pain and your body stops producing the hormone.

But then your body misses these hormones and the physical sensations felt by it. And you think you miss these shitty emotions.

 

[grey_beard]

I'm trying to figure out if this is true for me. I think maybe I would feel happier about it if it were true because at least it would be worth ... something? But to be honest, I'm not sure my reasons are anything as worthy as that. I create and cultivate fictional pain for myself because it's ... fun.

I had a very bad dream last night and then spent the whole morning building on that dream world and the sense of betrayal and loss I'd felt in it. And even while I was letting myself sink deeper and deeper into that fantasy, building it up and embellishing it brick by brick, nurturing pain and anger, a part of me was going "This is crazy and stupid." And this always happens but I don't want to stop because fantasizing about pain and grief and anger are satisfying. They're fun. They make life beautiful. I'm not really exploring how I feel about life because I already know how I feel about life. I'm just ... I don't actually know what I'm doing, actually, but I'm trying to make myself believe that it's maybe not a good idea, because in the last 28 years, I can't remember a single fantasy that was wholeheartedly, unabashedly positive.

...I just *knew* you were gonna be a 4w5.

I've always wanted to know, since I've heard other people as well speak of this.

How do you go about "decompressing" as it were, to return to normal life after a particularly involved daydream / fantasy?
And does it sap your strength or energize you to do this?

 

[grey_beard]

Shit i typed something and it didnt get saved.

When you are going through emotional pain for a long time your body PROBABLY releases hormones. The longer the pain the longer the hormonal development.

Then you pass that emotional pain and your body stops producing the hormone.

But then your body misses these hormones and the physical sensations felt by it. And you think you miss these shitty emotions.

Good post, Riva.
Given that people speak of the rush of falling in love, as physiologically akin to addiction, one wonders if something similar goes on during a breakup?

 

[senza tema]

...I just *knew* you were gonna be a 4w5.

I've always wanted to know, since I've heard other people as well speak of this.

How do you go about "decompressing" as it were, to return to normal life after a particularly involved daydream / fantasy?

Pick fights with people and/or cry.

And does it sap your strength or energize you to do this?

I'm not entirely sure what you mean by "this" ... but I find long, uninterrupted periods of "normal life" very draining and would likely go mad without my fantasies.

 

[senza tema]

Shit i typed something and it didnt get saved.

When you are going through emotional pain for a long time your body PROBABLY releases hormones. The longer the pain the longer the hormonal development.

Then you pass that emotional pain and your body stops producing the hormone.

But then your body misses these hormones and the physical sensations felt by it. And you think you miss these shitty emotions.

Yeah, go ahead and take all the romance out of it, won't you?

But yes, I enjoy the physical part of emotional pain. The lump in the throat, the aching heart, etc. Oh, and anger makes me dizzy and nauseous but then again, so does love, hahaha.

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

Does anyone else do it? Why is it so fun?

Sometimes. This is one reason I think 4 might be in my tritype.

 

[Riva]

Yeah, go ahead and take all the romance out of it, won't you?

But yes, I enjoy the physical part of emotional pain. The lump in the throat, the aching heart, etc. Oh, and anger makes me dizzy and nauseous but then again, so does love, hahaha.

Do you also enjoy emotional pain rising due to physical pain?

If so you'd love having periods .

Ladies do you enjoy your periods? Sounds like a terrible idea but maybe there are people out there who enjoys it.

*runs*

 

[Mane]

Why is it so fun?

Maybe it's same kind of weird logic that certain stereotypes use when they tell their children to eat because "There are starving people in Africa"... If you would get to be the one starving in Africa you'd finally obtain some legitimacy in your feeling that this meal sucks ass (Or you know... Whatever else you might be feeling negatively about but don't feel like you have the right to complain).

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

When I was a kid and I would see another person confined to a wheelchair or in some state where they were unable to communicate with the world, I would wish I could absorb their condition/take on their disability so they could lead a normal life.

Not sure if this is relevant.

 

[senza tema]

Do you also enjoy emotional pain rising due to physical pain?

If so you'd love having periods .

Ladies do you enjoy your periods? Sounds like a terrible idea but maybe there are people out there who enjoys it.

*runs*

Part of me does actually enjoy my period but it's a very small part, haha. I'm even more emotional than normal around that time of the month and even little things can trigger tears.

 

[senza tema]

When I was a kid and I would see another person confined to a wheelchair or in some state where they were unable to communicate with the world, I would wish I could absorb their condition/take on their disability so they could lead a normal life.

Not sure if this is relevant.

You know, I don't think I've thought this ever before ... but I can almost, almost feel what you mean. I think my capacity to shoulder other people's pain is already quite limited though.