[ENFP] Common ENFP issues

[mergewithgod]

enjoyed your insight into the ENFP psyche...highly accurate ... if u think being an ENFP female is hard try being "that way" as a male... yikes!...misunderstandings abound...I am training myself to put some serious limits on the amount of "me" that I share or let out now unless I'm with someone that I really know and who understands me...one of my friends who took something I said recently in the wrong way asked me to furthur clarify my comment and then replied "I never understood that you really don't seem to have a mean bone in your body, do you"...it was quite pleasing to receive that gift of understand from her as well as helped me to understand myself better...I like being "the way I am"...more so as time goes on...thanks again for your insight and effort...and aloha...

 

[Nara]

Sometimes I wonder if people will finally tell me to "stop speaking out loud everything you're thinking and/or feeling THANKS" . People are too polite. :/

 

[Starry]

Sometimes I wonder if people will finally tell me to "stop speaking out loud everything you're thinking and/or feeling THANKS" . People are too polite. :/

No one has ever told you this before?

 

[Racer Poet]

I'm noticing a pattern here, ENFPs tend to use fun and jokes as a way to cope with negative emotions. No wonder ENFPs often score an Enneagram 7. This can be healthy to a degree, whenever I'm out with the boys and something goes wrong, I usually spit out a funny observation or something like that to lighten the mood and increase my gangs confidence ("The Inspirer"). As the Enneagram states, in a neurotic individual this can very easily manifest itself in 'running away' from your own negative emotions through having "fun", whether it be through drugs, video games, parties, etc.

 

[Qlip]

I'm noticing a pattern here, ENFPs tend to use fun and jokes as a way to cope with negative emotions. No wonder ENFPs often score an Enneagram 7. This can be healthy to a degree, whenever I'm out with the boys and something goes wrong, I usually spit out a funny observation or something like that to lighten the mood and increase my gangs confidence ("The Inspirer"). As the Enneagram states, in a neurotic individual this can very easily manifest itself in 'running away' from your own negative emotions through having "fun", whether it be through drugs, video games, parties, etc.

Oh no, this is how 7's cope with negative emotions, and a lot of ENFP's are 7's. I like to dive into them until I reach the bottom. /4 Gotta rep, the way of the 7 is strange to me.

 

[alcea rosea]

I'm noticing a pattern here, ENFPs tend to use fun and jokes as a way to cope with negative emotions. No wonder ENFPs often score an Enneagram 7. This can be healthy to a degree, whenever I'm out with the boys and something goes wrong, I usually spit out a funny observation or something like that to lighten the mood and increase my gangs confidence ("The Inspirer"). As the Enneagram states, in a neurotic individual this can very easily manifest itself in 'running away' from your own negative emotions through having "fun", whether it be through drugs, video games, parties, etc.

I do this. A lot. Sometimes it's tiring, especially if people expect you to lift the sprit because you are always doing that.

Oh no, this is how 7's cope with negative emotions, and a lot of ENFP's are 7's. I like to dive into them until I reach the bottom. /4 Gotta rep, the way of the 7 is strange to me.

I'm 7. And I do that. I thought it would be a thing that ENFP's do in general, but maybe it isn't.

 

[Redbone]

Oh no, this is how 7's cope with negative emotions, and a lot of ENFP's are 7's. I like to dive into them until I reach the bottom. /4 Gotta rep, the way of the 7 is strange to me.

Why am I just seeing this?

Same here...I do have a lot of 7-ish ways being a 4w3 but this isn't one of them. Even if I'm trying to 'distract' myself, it always has a dark or ugly edge to it and self-destructive if I let it go there. Being sp-dom just turns it up higher.

 

[ScareBear]

4) Self-absorbed. Living with my head in the clouds, I don't always see what's going on around me, sorry, and I so don't know how to turn that off! Plz, if you need my help, I'll gladly give it to you, just tap me on the shoulder to get me back to reality though

This. I actually cried a little after reading your post. I've been feeling a bit down lately and earlier today I went on a walk and I was trying to grasp my head around how Se's see the world and for a fraction of a second I thought I could but then I just felt odd. I almost teared up as I was going through a fake conversation in my head as if to say to someone, "I just can't do it! I can't get my head out of the clouds! I just can't turn it off!" So that hit me like a ton of bricks and the rest of the post seemed as if I was reading about myself. I think most of it is spot on so thank you for this thread and your input!

 

[skippythecat]

I'm noticing a pattern here, ENFPs tend to use fun and jokes as a way to cope with negative emotions. No wonder ENFPs often score an Enneagram 7. This can be healthy to a degree, whenever I'm out with the boys and something goes wrong, I usually spit out a funny observation or something like that to lighten the mood and increase my gangs confidence ("The Inspirer"). As the Enneagram states, in a neurotic individual this can very easily manifest itself in 'running away' from your own negative emotions through having "fun", whether it be through drugs, video games, parties, etc.

This is very true for one of the ENFPs that I know but not sure for others. He jokes first then say "whatever" (with a negative emotion behind it) when really it does bother him.

 

[iamnotthepita]

Why am I just seeing this?

Same here...I do have a lot of 7-ish ways being a 4w3 but this isn't one of them. Even if I'm trying to 'distract' myself, it always has a dark or ugly edge to it and self-destructive if I let it go there. Being sp-dom just turns it up higher.

LOL. So accurate. Even my distraction jokes are morbid.

 

[ilixir]

Basically every "weakness" that ENFP's are cited to have on the internet I have! Self absorption, coming off as flighty, etc. The one place I specifically struggle with is with non-NF friends...or just maybe non-Ne dominants. I don't get how everyone doesn't want to constantly discover more about the world and know everything about everyone.

 

[xpeacexrainbowx]

What were ENFPs like in childhood though? One issue of ENFPs is that they're the shy extroverts wanting attention at the same time while needing to be alone.

 

[aanule]

What were ENFPs like in childhood though? One issue of ENFPs is that they're the shy extroverts wanting attention at the same time while needing to be alone.

I was shy, and pretty nerdy. Teachers pet... Not athletic at all, I'd get absorbed in pretend play for hours... I read a lot. I wanted desperately to be liked and had self confidence issues for a long time.

Into adolescence I became rebellious and social. Hated authority and busy work... Very hedonistic.

 

[xpeacexrainbowx]

I was shy, and pretty nerdy. Teachers pet... Not athletic at all, I'd get absorbed in pretend play for hours... I read a lot. I wanted desperately to be liked and had self confidence issues for a long time.

Into adolescence I became rebellious and social. Hated authority and busy work... Very hedonistic.

Interesting, I was loud but had some social issues too. I was also absorbed in my own pretend play world, dunno if I was shy though. but I'm more shy and less loud in school which is why I don't know if I'm enfp or infp. I might be the typical enfp or a "black sheep" infp that's more outgoing.

 

[aanule]

Interesting, I was loud but had some social issues too. I was also absorbed in my own pretend play world, dunno if I was shy though. but I'm more shy and less loud in school which is why I don't know if I'm enfp or infp. I might be the typical enfp or a "black sheep" infp that's more outgoing.

Research the difference between Ne and Fi. That'll tell you. I can be very introverted, but I definitely use Ne most. INFP's use Fi most.

 

[uumlau]

Research the difference between Ne and Fi. That'll tell you. I can be very introverted, but I definitely use Ne most. INFP's use Fi most.

Ne doms often tend to APPEAR rather introverted, because normal people are so fucking boring to them. Ne is extroverted, but it's extroverted "inside your head" more or less.

 

[pinkgraffiti]

Yes, as a child I was a bit shy, and very curious about people/the world. I had a lot of friends, but i'd also be ok just reading (it actually took me until i was 9 or 10 start reading, before i found it boring). i was thought of as intelligent (although i didn't study) and teachers liked me because i didn't create problems. i never liked belonging to groups so i'd jump from friends to friends, i would also be "used" by other kids to help them solve their communication problems, as I always felt independent and liked to listen to people in 1 on 1 interactions.
i was a very happy child, and during my first years i actually thought i was god, as everyone seemed to love me and i seemed to be the center of the universe. i unfortunately still feel like that sometimes, so i can be a bit snobbish if i want to. but at the same time, as i child i'd spend so much time just looking observing things and people. i would imagine myself in every person's shoes. i would dream of a distant, exotic country and dream of flying there once. my biggest goal as a child was to not die without taking a plane (i've taken so many since then lol). i would also think a lot about the injustices of the world: i could not comprehend how it was possible for some people to starve. so i decided that whilst people still died of hunger in the world, i could not be happy. it didn't seem fair to me. i also decided that i needed to do something about it, that it would be my mission in life. well, that didn't exactly happen....
and i dreamt of being a clown. i though adults were too serious and should understand that the important thing in life is laughing, sharing, being happy. i think this was later in my childhood, like age 7 or so. at this time i remember i was already being beaten heavily by my father, and i started being very anxious about this....he was an INTJ...type 5 or 1 i don't know. so i started becoming more rebellious, i didn't want to show my weak side, my sensitivities. i knew that he would hit me whenever i was happy. so i started pretending that i was never happy, even if i was.
this led to a pre-adolescence where i based my network of affections around my friends. i had a very large group of friends and i felt accepted totally by them, unlike my family. and i was an early teenager, by age 10 i was already exploring my confinements, my sexuality, etc. became very much against authority. started developing very strong interests and moral compass. and blah blah, anything that is normal for a teenager.
and left home when i was 20. i wanted to explore the world and to finally "be free". i switched so many countries in the space of a few years. met so many people, made so many friends, tried on so many different jobs and ways of living. when i was younger i though that since we only live once, then my goal was to experience life in everyone's shoes. for instance, i would go to china and learn chinese and be integrated with a chinese family for 5 years...then i would go to amazon and they would adopt me, i'd learn the language and culture... BUT in my early 20s i finally understood the problem of this equation: love. you can't forget about the people you left behind, be it family, friends or lovers. all the people that participated in my life left a love and a sorrow.
so now im 30 and im working on stopping my traveling and going back home. and building something more solid.

was this boring to read? i'm sorry

 

[GAEL]

Hi Starry,

Nice to run into you...we must live in the same neighborhood. I must say it's distressing to hear that the 93% of the population who are not enfp types are exercised to the point of consternation by our well acknowledged conversational style. I soothe myself with the old saw: "what other people think is none of my business."

 

[andresimon]

Ne doms often tend to APPEAR rather introverted, because normal people are so fucking boring to them. Ne is extroverted, but it's extroverted "inside your head" more or less.

Ne doms appear to be more introverted because of the way society functions and how we have been trained. I was not introverted AT ALL until school where talking ='s punishment. Now I don't give a $#&* and will talk to myself .

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What were ENFPs like in childhood though? One issue of ENFPs is that they're the shy extroverts wanting attention at the same time while needing to be alone.

Not alone, independent. Big difference.

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Basically every "weakness" that ENFP's are cited to have on the internet I have! Self absorption, coming off as flighty, etc. The one place I specifically struggle with is with non-NF friends...or just maybe non-Ne dominants. I don't get how everyone doesn't want to constantly discover more about the world and know everything about everyone.

Those are not weaknesses.

 

[andresimon]

When ever I get close to an ENFP, I always get this impression from them.

Then when I start doing some fact checking, this happens.

Ambiverts?

That's awesome.