[ENTJ] Why do ENTJ's bully

[lulabelle]

I knew an INTJ who dated what I'm sure was a 4w5 INFP - he went nuts when she dumped him after three years - started using hard drugs and basically dropped out of life. She's so much of an "out there" INFP that I look like a TJ compared to her.

wait, who dumped who? did the INTJ dump the INFP or the other way around?

 

[blahblahbob]

wait, who dumped who? did the INTJ dump the INFP or the other way around?

She (FP) dumped him (TJ) - TJ's get their mind made up about something they stick to it.

I don't even know how the two of them got together in the first place.

 

[lulabelle]

She (FP) dumped him (TJ) - TJ's get their mind made up about something they stick to it.

I don't even know how the two of them got together in the first place.

you mean that the TJ was stuck to the relationship so when the INFP broke up with him it sent him on a tailspin?

LOL i feel like INFPs are generally the dumpees so it's interesting to hear of a dumper

 

[blahblahbob]

you mean that the TJ was stuck to the relationship so when the INFP broke up with him it sent him on a tailspin?

LOL i feel like INFPs are generally the dumpees so it's interesting to hear of a dumper

I got dumped 1/3 times. But none of them were TJ's

The guy was smart but a real big ass to me (for no reason other than he liked to play bully) so I feel only partially like a jerk for not feeling bad about him losing complete control of himself.

 

[sculpting]

I dunno, are entjs really bullying or are they looking for someone to stand up against them and call them out on their bullshit, lol?

I work with a delightful young entj. We argue constantly. At first I was hesitant but then he said he likes be corrected when wrong, so I give it my all nowadays. He is my knight as he makes my moral visions real and helps me take care of the people I care about. He isn't a bully, but just a force of nature- you have to be strong enough to stand firm.

 

[Bknight]

ENTJ's are exceptionally charismatic and natural-born leaders. Combine that with generally being fairly cold and ruthless (something that is more common in Analyst types than I would care to admit), and you have a lot of possibility for their gifts to be misused. Not to mention that a fair number of sociopaths are ENTJs.
Of course, many ENTJs take the opposite side of the spectrum and become brilliant and highly beneficial leaders.
I only know a couple of people that I believe to be ENTJ; one is indeed a bully that delights in small, petty "torments" against me and other "nerds" (while completely failing to recognize that we're far too strong to be hurt by his remarks (don't ask me how he hasn't picked up on this )). The other is a person that I have been longtime friends with and has a strong respect for just about everyone around him (except for overly authoritarian teachers, a trait which he and I share).
What I'm trying to say is, don't judge an entire personality type off of a few of the bad apples. If you judged all ENFPs by Adolf Hitler (who was, surprisingly, not a sociopath , but was certainly mentally unhealthy in the extreme), then you'd totally miss out on a good number of mentally healthy and highly moral ENFPs.

Bknight

 

[Mychemicalkilljoy]

Visit any forum and the ENTJ section tends to have some of the most rude, condescending comments.

The big question is why do ENTJ's troll using psychological warfare?

The big answer of course is because they have so little control over their immediate environment that they need to go online and assert control by reducing another in that environment.

They commit acts of existential cannibalism because they do not admit that they are bullying but it is objectively clear. They will passive aggressively refer to you as a "retard," or a "moron," for not understanding that their "objectivity" is good for you.

In real life, the ENTJ will bully as well, but usually will run into some trouble by 20 and will have to soften and adjust. If the ENTJ still believes they are always objective even though humans are fallible and creatures of subjectivity then the ENTJ has an inflated and weak ego which may imply you are dealing with a legitimate narcissist.

This is a thread for asking an ENTJ why ENTJ's bully. You probably will not find another thread like this. You'll notice that if you go to another site such as reddit and ask this question in the ENTJ section you will be immediately flamed and told that the person in question is not a bully. False. Everyone has bullied at one point in their life. There are degrees of bullying of course and ENTJ's have a particular style of afflicting others when they are in their inferior mode of operation...that is when they think they are so objective they become tyrants and cruelly subjective and harm in their environment with false pretenses of "helping you."

Hmm... Maybe it isn't just about the type. A lot of factors come in to play like the environment they live in. I've noticed that some entjs feel incredibly weak deep down. I was in a relationship with one and I have to say, you guys are super cool! The one thing I will critique is that they don't like feeling vulnerable. They always like to be the strong ones and protect people. I've also noticed that most entjs get into relationships with "weaker" people so that they can "show them the ropes" and protect them. It is both sweet yet controlling, but if the partner is intuitive, they will sense the entjs need to be in control, and probably figure out that they too, just like everybody, is vulnerable. I'm sorry if this offends any one of you! Have a wonderful evening!

 

[Name]

I can only speak for myself, but I don't really bully people; I had a tendency to be brusque with people, which tends to sour both my personal and professional relationships.

 

[Mychemicalkilljoy]

I can only speak for myself, but I don't really bully people; I had a tendency to be brusque with people, which tends to sour both my personal and professional relationships.

And it's not bullying. Most feelers kinda take it the wrong way as bullying. They just have to understand where you're coming from. I have like 5 ENTJ besties and this used to happen and all you entjs have to do is clarify what you mean. Although, they now get that I'm a crybaby lol HAKUNA MATATA (listening to the lion king soundtrack rn)

 

[Xander]

ENTJs can be seen as bullies simply because their overwhelming desire is to remake the world so it makes sense to them. The idea that this is impossible is like a red rag to a bull, literally, they charge around in a heightened state of anger.

What ENTJs tend to lack is a means to honestly consider their opposite. It takes a long time for them to value what appears to be without value. Perhaps what they would be best considering is "It isn't stupid if it works".

Having had long discussions with an ENTJ (who eventually got fed up and told me to go online and find other INTPs to address my questions, hence joining INTP Central all those years ago) I find that given adequate reason they will consider their point of view. More so if they consider you competent.

Having had similar long discussions with an INTJ, they do the exact same thing...they just don't always tell you how they just owned you through superior reasoning. My favourite statement was when my INTJ friend (someone who before that point I'd always assumed I held the position of "someone I socialise with on occasion") told me that he considered me a friend and said "I find you....interesting". Highest praise ever.

 

[laterlazer]

I have a weird dislike but respect thing with ExTJs (like someone said they only really start pissing me off when i spend too much time with them). I've had to work with an ENTJ for my design projects and I wouldn't really say he bullies as much as it's just being undiplomatic and not tolerating incompetence in the slightest. Some of his behaviour/words took me aback sometimes but I could always see the reasoning behind it. Doesn't mean I'm a fan of the methods though.

 

[Tippo]

What? I consistently aid weaker persons under duress of aggressive behaviors. Growing up, I experienced bullies. However, with age, realized bullies are typically insecure, poor surroundings, generally very deficient persons. This is the basis of maturity, recognizing, successful persons create outcome, only the inferior and jealous fixate on another's traits or flaws.
Bring it bullies, if you exist, I promise, I'm smarter than you.

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

Why do they seem to bully more than ESTJs, generally speaking?

 

[prplchknz]

My brother is most likely an ENTJ and while he is not really a bully he can come off as agressive and really opinionated and often won't budge once he's made up his mind on something and he is kick to loud you know. He's the type that if you did something to piss him off or something he doesn't approve of he will let you know. Lot of times I have to disengage or say I don't want to talk about this, because neither one of us is gonna reach a consensus. and it can feel like bullying but it's not, i suspect it's baby Fi.

 

[Xander]

Why do they seem to bully more than ESTJs, generally speaking?

They're not.
I'm guessing you're American from what I've read. American culture is ENTJ so they're happier in general and can relax more into their party mode. Of all the people I've met in the UK it's usually the ESTJ who's the most aggressive and unreasonable. Probably frustrated with the general introversion and lack of conflict.

 

[freeeekyyy]

ENTJs can be jerks, but they can also be very pleasant and likeable. The ones that've been knocked around a few times seem to fit that description better. They realize they aren't all that, and can actually be very respectful.

 

[freeeekyyy]

My favourite statement was when my INTJ friend (someone who before that point I'd always assumed I held the position of "someone I socialise with on occasion") told me that he considered me a friend and said "I find you....interesting". Highest praise ever.

INTJ hold things back more than any other type, including ENTJ. We're also prone to understatement. If he called you interesting, it means you're actually his best friend.

 

[Xander]

INTJ hold things back more than any other type, including ENTJ. We're also prone to understatement. If he called you interesting, it means you're actually his best friend.

It was the pause for thought before he said it which cracked me up.

Perfect INTJ "friend" statement.
Walking home drunk with a friend. Said INTJ is a marathon runner and the other guy is an overweight guy. (I should say that this marathon runner used to be the fat kid, at least in his mind).

You know, I hate running... It's really boring.
Yup.
You know why I do it?
Nope.
So I don't end up looking like you...

Unbelievably the guy continued on to be his best man...

Me, I'm the coffee date for when he's not St the gym/ running/at some sort of mind meet/busy with other work colleagues.

I think "interesting" was a well crafted statement

 

[freeeekyyy]

I think "interesting" was a well crafted statement

Could be, I don't know. Usually INTJ are too oblivious to try that though. We're not socially aware. Being both "feeling-poor," AND not an Fe type, there's unlikely to be a whole lot of effort put into being "nice/polite" when you don't really have something good to say about somebody.

 

[Tippo]

Could be, I don't know. Usually INTJ are too oblivious to try that though. We're not socially aware. Being both "feeling-poor," AND not an Fe type, there's unlikely to be a whole lot of effort put into being "nice/polite" when you don't really have something good to say about somebody.

I love long debates with intjs. Usually, picking up new info quickly, directly. I appreciate expertise in all subjects. Only a fool pretends to know all. The Intj is a huge vault of direct applicable information.