[Traditional Enneagram] Things you'd like to say to most people of type __

[Elfboy]

I shall start with a few which have been on my mind for awhile

dear 2s: silly little vixen. your childish games won't work on me. you like to act like you're so innocent, like all you want is a "little bit of fun" or "somebody to love"....but that's all bullshit. what you really are is an emotional predator. you entice your victims, sooth their insecurities and vulnerabilities and fill in the holes in their emotional well being, but, at the end of the day, all you really want to do is suck them dry emotionally to sustain your need for drama and emotional sustenance. to anyone with an ounce of perception, it's as obvious as the ending of a Disney movie.

dear 3s: I am not interested in the social dance that is the dialogue you make with people 60% of the time. when you ask me a question, I am going to answer honestly. I don't care about how I "should" answer, I don't care about how my answer will come across and I certainly don't care if my answer expresses something about who I am....cuz you're the one who asked. when I'm at work, I'm there to do a job. nothing more, nothing less. I have no intention of looking like some role model character from Leave it to Beaver because I'm not. I'm not always a good person, I have opinions and habits that would offend some people and...at the end of the day, yes, I'm doing it for the money because I love nice clothes, good food and passionate sex....and I don't see why in the hell I should have to appear otherwise. if you want to live your cookie cutter lifestyle in your nice lil neighborhood with your corporate job, white picket fence and golden retriever....be my guest, but leave those of us who are more interesting out of it.

dear counter-phobic 6s: you are the ultimate case of "can dish it out but not take it". when you insult me out of the blue and I respond with a witty comeback which slaps you in the face, you messed with the bull, you got the horns.....now deal with it and stop trying to act all offended. "how dare he stand up for himself!".....seriously, that's how dumb you sound, especially when I probably let you off easy (ie, with a comeback that was more funny than insulting) if you really want to prove yourself so bad, take up a martial art, get a degree in a competitive program, try and start a business...anything for a more productive way to test your mettle which will actually help you grow and actually allow you to face your fears.

 

[panicstation]

Dear 1s : Are you sure you always do the right thing? Never do the wrong thing? Do you realise giving people harsh critics is the wrong thing? It's okay to tell someone if they make mistake and criticise 'em, but please never give 'em harsh critics. Give 'em constructive critics instead cz not all people can handle critics. There are ppl who is too sensitive with criticism. Give critics softly and warmly if you wanna give criticism for people. For example start with "You did an almost good job, but (point their mistakes softly and warmly). We're only human, and humans sometimes do the wrong thing, whether they realise it or not. I didn't tell you to stop criticize people, because criticism is still good for people to help 'em improve. I just tell you to change your way to criticise people. You can be role model for people because of your desire to do the right thing. That's what I like from you. But all people make mistakes, includes you and me. Nobody's perfect.

 

[Raffaella]

dear counter-phobic 6s: you are the ultimate case of "can dish it out but not take it".

OMG, yes! I thought I was the only one that saw through their manipulative tendencies.

CP6 - I get along with every type as they appreciate my patience and considerate approach however I feel taken for granted around your type. That is until you accidentally slip how much you miss and appreciate me... and it makes me realise how vulnerable and delicate you are. I wish you didn't feel the need to act indomitable since it makes it difficult to sympathise with you when you lash out at everyone. I adore you but you're require a lot of energy and I don't know if I have it in me.

1 - I get terrified when I see your type repress their anger. It's like a ticking time bomb where the time changes in accordance to your ability to control your anger at that moment. Scary shit, yo. At least with the 8s, you know when they'll blow up, with you, it's a mystery. I don't know whether to run or continue.

 

[Qlip]

CP6s: Stop testing me, I will bite if you annoy me too much.
4s: You're beautiful. Pull your heads out of your asses.
7s: Alight on my finger, hummingbird, if just for a short while.
9s: Try screaming.

 

[skylights]

Sorry, guys, but I feel like this kind of thread adds to stereotype and misunderstanding. Maybe hitting me personally because a lot of negativity towards 6s, but a lot of these messages sound pretty individual-specific.

 

[Noll]

Sorry, guys, but I feel like this kind of thread adds to stereotype and misunderstanding. Maybe hitting me personally because a lot of negativity towards 6s, but a lot of these messages sound pretty individual-specific.

But this is TypologyCentral, home of the not so well-read and where the stereotypes may reign free. I do love 6s.

 

[skylights]

But this is TypologyCentral, home of the not so well-read and where the stereotypes may reign free. I do love 6s.

Well thank you

That is the disappointing thing to me, though. I find that of all the online gatherings of personality theory that I have wandered across, this forum has some of the most well educated, serious, and perceptive members. I am all for joking and lightheartedness, but I think sometimes in threads like this it becomes difficult to distinguish genuine perception of type from emphatic venting or exaggeration for amusement. I think I am maybe a little more sensitive to this issue because of other areas in my life where moving from generalized language and perception to individual-centered language and perception makes a huge difference in terms of minimizing bias and unintentional perpetuation of stereotype.

 

[Opal]

9s: Try screaming.

She who whispers never loses her voice.

 

[Lady Lazarus]

9's:Conflict is often not avoidable, "war" however most always is.
3's:Relax, the world does not so much care for the individual that their eyes may focus solely upon your achievements nor your failed attempts. Perhaps try to keep it natural sometimes.
4's:You deserve as does everyone on one level or another(so long as it harms no other).
7's:Enthusiasm is a rapidly depleting resource within out world, therefore I find you invaluable in this respect.
8's:To me you recall the Lion King and I know why yet not really.
1's:Your quest for righteousness is an admirable one, and in some ways I can understand. However, fear of failure is a failure in itself in that it impedes upon improvement. Don't be so hard on yourself, failures are stepping stones.
2's:Love is important, I agree, yet we musn't forget to forge ourselves apart from it. You may be loved but loved is not all you are.
6's:You are the human manifestations of phoenixes.
5's:I have no idea why I have crossed paths with not one of you in real life but I would like to perhaps change that being that you seem to be mobile libraries and that seems almost unutterably intriuging.

 

[á´…eparted]

1 - I get terrified when I see your type repress their anger. It's like a ticking time bomb where the time changes in accordance to your ability to control your anger at that moment. Scary shit, yo. At least with the 8s, you know when they'll blow up, with you, it's a mystery. I don't know whether to run or continue.

Fear not; us blowing up is rare, and the nature of the repression usually keeps it out of the way of others most of the time.

 

[Raffaella]

Fear not; us blowing up is rare, and the nature of the repression usually keeps it out of the way of others most of the time.

My grandmother is E1, I don't see her physically repressing her anger but she is very critical. I have seen other E1s physically repress their anger, though. If E8s are like an atomic bomb (you know it's coming) and E9s are land mines (bad move, buddy), are E1s iron domes?

 

[Elfboy]

Sorry, guys, but I feel like this kind of thread adds to stereotype and misunderstanding. Maybe hitting me personally because a lot of negativity towards 6s, but a lot of these messages sound pretty individual-specific.

this is fitting, because one thing I'd like to say to Social 6s is that the shit they say is too damn safe lmao!

 

[HongDou]

But this is TypologyCentral, home of the not so well-read and where the stereotypes may reign free.

Have you been on PerC though?

 

[skylights]

this is fitting, because one thing I'd like to say to Social 6s is that the shit they say is too damn safe lmao!

probably trueeeee

Have you been on PerC though?

For real.

 

[small.wonder]

For the record, I've actually said most of this IRL already. To keep true feelings in is dumb.

1's: I fall on the other side of truth from you and sometimes it's frustrating-- I value the authentic, you value the correct, and oh what a sea lies between the two. You could do so much good if you could only get your hands dirty, and see clearly in the mirror. The most painful irony with you, is that you think discernment is turning a blind eye to your own filth. In reality, true discernment requires first to see one's own mess.

2's: I so value you as a truly altruistic person when you decide to communicate directly, unfortunately this happens rarely. It is not safe to have you in my life until you can realize I do not owe you anything. I am not responsible for reading your mind (use your words). Your decisions to wear yourself out for others are self-injury, no one is responsible for that but you-- I will not celebrate or pity you for this.

3's: Only you can give yourself the approval you really need, please stop trying to get it from me.

4's: Please, please stop being so anti-conformist. Non-conformism is great, we should do what we do regardless of what others are doing, but we only hamstring ourselves when we refuse to do things we enjoy just because someone else is doing it too (or because it's become popular). I'm guilty of this, but working on it. To be actually true to ourselves is not to compare with others.

6's: For those of you I do not know well, I am not subject to your skepticism because I do not care if you trust me or not.

For those of you that I know well and love, please stop conforming to me. You would be wise to actually consider what you think/want before asking my advice-- it's disconcerting to have you regurgitate my thoughts and words because you trust me. I want you to be you.

7's: I can be intimidated by your "popular" person vibes and sometimes resent your empty interactions with me. This is not because I dislike you, but because I want to actually know you.

8w7's: It would be really nice if we could agree without shouting at each other once in a while.

9's: Please know that you are the opposite of annoying, you couldn't be if you tried. When you talk, good things come out-- you should do that more. Also, I wish you would realize that there is no real peace without hard conversations. Respectful conflict leads to understanding, avoidance only leads to misunderstanding and hurt.

 

[Elfboy]

[MENTION=17697]small.wonder[/MENTION]

8w7's: It would be really nice if we could agree without shouting at each other once in a while.

an 8w7 + Sexual 4 confrontation is like a thunderstorm. I'd rather not get caught in the middle, but it's sure as hell fun to watch

 

[Haven]

5s - you're not as awkward as you feel

1s - you don't get to be rough on other people because you're rough on yourself, that's not how that works

6s, you can decide what's important for yourself you don't need to let other people and their opinions rule your life

7s, you are dearly beloved, people will still like you if you slow down a bit

9s, I really want to like you, you just lost in the bustle

2s, just shut the fuck up already no one cares, go back to listing everyone's ass and liking it

 

[LonestarCowgirl]

2 You deserve to have someone that loves you and appreciates your sacrifices. I really admire you.

3 You always look like a million bucks; let's shop!

5 What can I say? You're a genius!

8 You'll make them think twice about doing that again! If people would simply follow you, they wouldn't have such a rough time.

9 You're a great listener, mediator, and friend.

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

According to Enneagramm each type needs some messages he never received or were missing in his past life.

(See Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson works).

All though one's life, each types tries to get some messages from their environment.


1. That's bad to make mistakes (needs to hear from others) You are a good person.
2. That's not good to have some needs (needs to hear from others) You are wanted/desired.
3. That's not good to have your own feelings and your own identity (needs to hear from others) You're loved for who you are.
4. That's not good to be too happy (needs to hear from others) You are seen from what you truly are.
5. That's not good to feel good in this world (needs to hear) your needs are not a problem for me/us.
6. That's not good to be confident in yourself (needs to hear) You are safe now.
7. Thats is not good to depend on whatever it is (needs to hear) I'll/We'll take care of you.
8. That is not good to feel vulnerable and trust anyone (needs to hear) NO one will betray you.
9. That is not good to assert yourself (needs to hear) Your presence matters.


Hear what you wanna hear, see what you wanna see now

 

[small.wonder]

[MENTION=17697]small.wonder[/MENTION]

an 8w7 + Sexual 4 confrontation is like a thunderstorm. I'd rather not get caught in the middle, but it's sure as hell fun to watch

Thunderstorm, yes. Sometimes it's fun to be part of, but sometimes it's not. I tend to prefer the company of 8w9 for this reason, but still have a couple 8w7's in my life.