[sp] Are sp doms the least likely to cheat?

[Evo]

And that being said, are sx doms the most likely to cheat?

With so doms falling somewhere in the middle?

 

[Stansmith]

Ha, isn't the stereotypical player some sort of So-Dom?

 

[011235813]

IDK. Maybe. On the other hand, I feel like sp doms would also be the most likely to keep more than one viable option in hand as long as they could and string people along that way. Or cheat to preserve the emotional upper hand/sense of control.

 

[cafe]

I think I am probably an SP and I always know I will get caught. If I don't get caught, I will be unable to resist confessing. Maybe I'm something else.

That would be a reason not to cheat. But I also could not bear the hurt and disapproval of my partner. Just the thought of him looking at me with those feelings in his face . . . I think I'd rather be dead.

The relationship would have to be completely broken down for me to cheat and I like to think I'd leave first. I hope I would. But I really hope it never comes to that.

 

[Evo]

Ha, isn't the stereotypical player some sort of So-Dom?

Ha ha, Yea I am just guessing with the so's lol I don't get how they tick just yet.

IDK. Maybe. On the other hand, I feel like sp doms would also be the most likely to keep more than one viable option in hand as long as they could and string people along that way. Or cheat to preserve the emotional upper hand/sense of control.

Ohh good one!

I think I am probably an SP and I always know I will get caught. If I don't get caught, I will be unable to resist confessing. Maybe I'm something else.

That would be a reason not to cheat. But I also could not bear the hurt and disapproval of my partner. Just the thought of him looking at me with those feelings in his face . . . I think I'd rather be dead.

The relationship would have to be completely broken down for me to cheat and I like to think I'd leave first. I hope I would. But I really hope it never comes to that.

I relate

 

[Amargith]

Sx-doms are more likely to check out the temptation, and be curious about what it is, how it would work etc. Doesn't mean they'd go there though - that depends on their own values and motivations.

I second [MENTION=13147]senza tema[/MENTION] in the power play being tempting for sp-doms, as they tend to lean towards minimising risks in every way.


In essence, every variant is equally prone to cheating for their own reasons, I'd wager.

 

[Elfboy]

Sx-doms are more likely to check out the temptation, and be curious about what it is, how it would work etc. Doesn't mean they'd go there though - that depends on their own values and motivations.

yup

I second [MENTION=13147]senza tema[/MENTION] in the power play being tempting for sp-doms, as they tend to lean towards minimising risks in every way.

my Sp/Sx best friend is really fucking good at this. I could not see myself dating an Sp dom because they would totally have the upper hand on me emotionally.

In essence, every variant is equally prone to cheating for their own reasons, I'd wager.

I wouldn't say "every variant is equally prone to cheating" as much as "different variants have different temptations to cheat, which are difficult to compare"
[MENTION=18664]Stansmith[/MENTION]
actually, I see your typical player as some sort of 3, 7 or 8 Sp/Sx James Bond type. players are typically the loner in the back who infiltrates the group, steals their target away and sneaks off with them. Social doms lack the dark, mysterious energy that draws (usually) women in and evokes their curiosity and impure fantasies

 

[Amargith]

[MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION] with sp-doms, you just have to wait them out till they fully give. Took a year with mine - and a quid pro quo policy, but eventually he did. I was entirely willing to walk away as well if he decided not to. Once they decide though (at least with sp-sx, no clue with sp-so)...they're all in and you will be assimilated. There is no going back. So I tend to use that time that they need to step out of their comfort zone to do my own homework on them and see if they're for me

 

[Lexicon]

[MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION] with sp-doms, you just have to wait them out till they fully give. Took a year with mine - and a quid pro quo policy, but eventually he did. I was entirely willing to walk away as well if he decided not to. Once they decide though (at least with sp-sx, no clue with sp-so)...they're all in and you will be assimilated. There is no going back. So I tend to use that time that they need to step out of their comfort zone to do my own homework on them and see if they're for me

@bold-

Silence of The Lambs

@the OP-
As a (very monogamous) sp-dom, if I am unhappy in a relationship, I end it, vs engage in intimacy with another.
Idk if that's got to do with self preservation or..

 

[Elfboy]

[MENTION=5159]Lexicon[/MENTION]
what if you're happy with the relationship (ie, it provides you with some level of intimacy and support) but you just don't feel like you're getting enough or that it is sufficient to fulfill all of your needs? if I were to cheat, those would be my reasonings.

 

[Lexicon]

[MENTION=5159]Lexicon[/MENTION]
what if you're happy with the relationship (ie, it provides you with some level of intimacy and support) but you just don't feel like you're getting enough or that it is sufficient to fulfill all of your needs? if I were to cheat, those would be my reasonings.

I can;t speak for other sp-doms, but I'm only happy with the relationship if certain [mutual] core needs are met. If there were problems I'd address them to my partner directly, and if they weren't working with me actively to resolve them, it'd be time to end things. It wouldn't be a relationship to me at that point.. it'd just be going through the motions of one. Comfort and routine aren't the same thing as growth/intimacy, for me. I am highly idealistic in this regard; give it my all or walk away.

It also takes so much for me to allow myself to feel that close with someone (entertain the notion of feeling "safe" enough to be vulnerable)- it's not something I'd find so easily in another - it's not anything I actively seek out, even. There tend to be fairly wide brackets of time between my relationships, probably because of this.

 

[cafe]

Myself, I think I would only cheat if the terms of the relationship were violated but it was extremely impractical for me to leave. Like if my husband betrayed me or rejected me over a long period of time, but I'd be homeless if I left. Or maybe if I didn't think my kids would approve of my reasons for leaving and I thought I could keep them from learning of my infidelity.

They would understand (I think) if their dad was abusive or cheated on me, but they wouldn't understand if he just decided to never have sex with me again and/or not spend time with me anymore.

I think I could handle it if I was single, but I couldn't handle sleeping next to someone who wanted nothing to do with me for years without needing someone to want me. And he wouldn't divorce me unless I was gambling away all of our money and assets, probably, so I would look like the bad guy to them.

Or maybe if he became mentally incompetent due to mental illness or dementia. I'd still take care of him unless he was violent, but I'd probably be really lonely and vulnerable.

I don't believe any of these are likely scenarios because my husband is a good man and he loves me, but I always think of the worst case scenario.

 

[Lexicon]

I think I could handle it if I was single, but I couldn't handle sleeping next to someone who wanted nothing to do with me for years

Sleeping next to someone who goes through the motions of a relationship without really being 'present' anymore is my definition of loneliness when it comes to matters of love. I'm totally fine going solo, but laying next to someone as they snooze, comfortable in their complacency, while you stare at the ceiling-- that emptiness eats away at you.

 

[cafe]

Sleeping next to someone who goes through the motions of a relationship without really being 'present' anymore is my definition of loneliness when it comes to matters of love. I'm totally fine going solo, but laying next to someone as they snooze, comfortable in their complacency, while you stare at the ceiling-- that emptiness eats away at you.

Yeah. I'm pretty sure that would screw with my head enough that I would become capable of cheating if I couldn't extricate myself without destroying everything else of value to me.

 

[chubber]

I always seem to end things first before moving on. So I guess, if I see something I'm interested in, I will drop what I have and go for that, after some major consideration.

 

[skylights]

I can't see the Sp-doms I know well as being likely to cheat, but they also tend to retain more independence and self-direction than I do in a relationship. I think it probably falls along the lines of what [MENTION=5494]Amargith[/MENTION] and [MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION] were saying about each variant has its own reasons to cheat and it's hard to compare.

Ha, isn't the stereotypical player some sort of So-Dom?

Yeah probably and to some extent I can see it... because feelings of intimacy and close relationships with a number of people is pretty So/Sx territory. But then I really like all my worlds to meld together, and the thing about cheating is you have to keep the worlds separate for it to work out. I'm guessing that some So/Sx people can go through a phase of it, but I don't think it's very likely to end up being a long-running pattern, because their tendency is to unite, and cheating runs up against that. Whereas So/Sp is less likely to get emotionally close to two people in the first place, even if they'd probably be better at maintaining separate worlds. Kind of hard to say in general.

 

[FemMecha]

It's a tough question because the motivations vary so much. Sometimes the "safest" route for person is to try to have their cake and eat it too. If someone wants the security they get from a marriage and the security from not completely committing to a new person, then that could be an example of a cautious cheater.

As a sx-dom, when I'm in a relationship with a lack of intimacy I can feel the pull of cheating, but I also get so deeply entangled into the psyche of my partner that I experience everything from their point of view as well as mine. In this way, I would experience their pain while I was cheating, so that deep connectedness is prohibitive.

I just bring up those two example to show that there are many dynamics at work, so generalizations can be difficult to make.

 

[badger055]

I read somewhere that this is true because it would be like they are cheating on themselves.

 

[Stansmith]

Yeah probably and to some extent I can see it... because feelings of intimacy and close relationships with a number of people is pretty So/Sx territory. But then I really like all my worlds to meld together, and the thing about cheating is you have to keep the worlds separate for it to work out. I'm guessing that some So/Sx people can go through a phase of it, but I don't think it's very likely to end up being a long-running pattern, because their tendency is to unite, and cheating runs up against that. Whereas So/Sp is less likely to get emotionally close to two people in the first place, even if they'd probably be better at maintaining separate worlds. Kind of hard to say in general.

Eh...if I felt that strongly about someone, it's unlikely that I'd be interested in anyone else.

But yeah, other So-doms, sure.

 

[skylights]

Eh...if I felt that strongly about someone, it's unlikely that I'd be interested in anyone else.

I'm sorry I can't remember, what variant do you identify as?